Mentioned Characters: Remilia, Flandre, Sakuya, Patchouli, Meiling, Koakuma, Eirin

Sakuya Izayoi is the only human in the Scarlet Devil Mansion. As the head maid, it's her job to manage all the fairy maids, though it isn't exactly clear how much work, if any, they actually do. She also serves as her mistress Remilia's bodyguard and investigates incidents at her (or Patchouli's) behest. She is essentially Remilia's right hand, but at times she also acts like her mother. You might think that Sakuya is utterly devoted to Remilia and the Scarlet Devil Mansion, but that isn't necessarily the case. Apparently, she works as a maid to make a living. And she has been known to poison her mistress's tea and isn't always polite to her mistress's friends. Sakuya also seems to enjoy the outdoors, being a fan of hiking and fishing... However, she has stated that she will stay with Remilia for as long as she lives. Sakuya does all of this and more with a straight face, so you can never quite tell whether she's joking or not. In the 80th provisional Gensokyo, Sakuya draws on her experience as an incident resolver to fight any threats they encounter on their journey through possibilities. While they may be traveling on a ship, it is far from smooth sailing, and there is a high risk of danger. Sakuya plays a key role in defensive battles of bullets fought outside the ship by using her ability to manipulate time to protect herself and the other fighters from paradoxical attacks.

[Part 1 of an unresolved investigation into a lost world] "What do you expect? Compared to me, it's like everyone is standing still." During PE, Sakuya is in a league of her own. Everyone who sees her says the same thing: "It's like she has more time than anyone else." If they're playing basketball, she will suddenly disappear before a defender's eyes only to score by the time they turn around. If it's a foot race, the runner who thinks they're leading the pack will get to the finish line only to discover that the tape has already been cut. If it's judo, her opponent won't even see Sakuya move before they realize they've been thrown to the ground. There have been similar accounts for practically every sport. "Don't you think you should at least give them a fighting chance? Actually, how do you even do that?" Remilia's voice wavered slightly as she asked this. As the student council president of the Scarlet Devil Student Council, she wanted her vice president to be more careful. Her behavior could affect their duels with the other student councils... Then again, advertising that one of their members is incredibly strong could, in fact, be advantageous. She still hadn't made up her mind. "It's all a trick, milady. A sleight of hand." Sakuya waved her hands around, at first showing that they were empty, then making playing cards suddenly appear and disappear. Then, some balls with stars marked on them also appeared from nowhere, which she proceeded to deftly juggle. It looked like real magic. Apparently, in addition to being the vice president of the Scarlet Devil Student Council, Sakuya was also a member of the magic club. That would certainly explain why she's so good at card tricks and juggling, but Remilia couldn't help but wonder... "That's amazing, but making a card disappear is a lot different from disappearing while playing sports."

[Part 2 of an unresolved investigation into a lost world] "I don't know how you do it, but go use those movements that seem for all the world like you're stopping time to win sports day... Is that really what Remi said? Ugh, I feel a headache coming on." The so-called witch of the library, Patchouli Knowledge, was another member of the Scarlet Devil Student Council, and she hates it when things don't make sense. She prides herself on being a genius strategist, but in reality, she just reads a lot of books. On this particular day, she was joined in the library by Koakuma, who absolutely adores her, and Flandre, Remilia's younger sister, who was probably just there because she was bored. Sakuya suspected that Patchouli was treating their chatter as background noise as she focused on her books. "Apparently, if our student council representative wins sports day, we'll receive the bonus prize of a bigger budget. Lady Remilia believes we could use that to bring her dream one step closer to reality. You know, her dream of creating a dome over the academy or, failing that, covering it in some kind of scarlet magic mist. Though if you ask me, I'd say that'd be merely a drop in the ocean compared to the amount of money we'd actually need." "Then why did you agree to help her...?" "So Remilia chose you as our representative, huh? Makes sense." "No, Lady Flandre, what you should have said is, 'Kyahahaha! Remilia should've picked me! I'd destroy everything!'" "Then there wouldn't even be an academy..." "Sounds fun to me! I wish I could do that!" "Whatever you say, Koakuma. Just keep me out of it." Chatting about nonsense is surprisingly fun. Sakuya expertly manages her time each day, precisely so she can waste some of it like this. Wasting time is fun. So, in a way, it isn't really wasted. "All right, I brought you your tea and coffee, so I'll leave you to it." "I thought you came to ask me something, but I guess not."

[Part 3 of an unresolved investigation into a lost world] "Cheap tricks aren't gonna cut it against someone smart like me. To win, you'd need at least a two-hour head start." "I heard this bumbling maid was so good that it looked as if she controlled time. Turns out she's not good enough to stop me!" Sakuya lost. She was forced to accept that even though this academy is full of students who feel more like youkai than human, the students who've retained a semblance of humanity are actually the biggest threat. Then again, even though she failed to fulfill Remilia's order, it's not as if her winning would have actually accomplished anything. So, she wasn't overly bothered as she watched the winners step up onto the podium. She figured it was fine like this. But fine for whom? "Tough luck, Sakuya Izayoi, vice president of the Scarlet Devil Student Council. It could've been you standing up there." Eirin Yagokoro of the Eien Student Council stood next to Sakuya, looking at the podium as she spoke. What did she mean by that? ...Actually, was it really Eirin? She was wearing a strange mask. "Still, one day, Sakuya, you will notice the tiny thorn buried deep within your heart. The many tales of your past, your origins, are enough to fill an entire world. Truly, it's―" "Seriously, what are you trying to say?" "I'm not Eirin. I'm Double X, the masked enigma." "Riiiight..."

[Part 4 of an unresolved investigation into a lost world] "Oh, that's easy. You're scared of disappointing Lady Remilia. It happens to me all the time." Hong Meiling's carefree smile seemed to shine in the light of the setting Sun. As she stepped away from the gatepost she was leaning on, Sakuya noticed a trail of drool running down her chin. "I'm still amazed you can sleep while standing up outside." "With a little training, you could do it, too." "So it's thanks to your little workout routines?" "It's not a workout―it's Tai Chi Chuan." Sakuya tilted her head, trying to figure out what the difference was. Regardless, perhaps Meiling was right. She had lost, even though Remilia told her to win. Her mistress's demands may have been ridiculous, but that doesn't change the fact that she was unable to fulfill them. So, what does that mean for Sakuya, her head maid and the vice president of the Scarlet Devil Student Council? Should she feel ashamed? Annoyed? Regretful? Disappointed? No, none of them felt quite right. That wasn't her. That wasn't what she truly felt. She couldn't understand it. Seeing Sakuya's confusion written all over her face, Meiling made another suggestion, nonchalantly, as she started to walk home. "My guess is that you wanted to do it for her." "Huh?" "You wanted to win for Lady Remilia. But you didn't, so now, she's gonna sulk and yell at you. Isn't that what you're feeling?" "I wanted to do it for her...?" Maybe. "Why're you repeating me like some kind of doll that's just gained sentience. You all right, Miss Sakuya?" "Who are you calling a killer doll?" "Would you rather I call you a steel robot? It'd match the color of your hair." It seems her academy life was full of pointless conversations. That's why she'd continue to manage her time. So she could waste it for moments like these.