Lossy's Journal

???

Welcome to this cramped, dilapidated theater. I'd ask whether you're crazy or simply in possession of too much free time...

???

But by the time I asked all of you, you'd probably ask the same of me.

???

Whether tonight is your first rakugo show or your hundredth, thank you so much for your patronage.

???

I'm your story teller, Inari Yakumotei. I'm no veteran, so I ask for your forgiveness should I stumble on my words.

Inari

Joining me on stage tonight is the witty, the talented... Huh? Where is she?

Inari

Master? ...Miss Mamikura? ...Fear not, kind audience. She often vanishes like this.

Inari

Everyone, calm down. That's it...

???

Hoh hoh hoh! You're as inept as ever at dealing with our audience members.

???

They expect us to greet them together, so that's precisely what we shouldn't do.

Mamikura

But I'm getting sidetracked. I'm Mamikura Rokkaya, your other story teller.

Inari

Tch! You had our audience members in slack-jawed confusion.

Inari

When the curtain rose, I was all alone up here!

Mamikura

Don't be upset. Doing the unexpected is the heart of comedy. Perhaps you still need more training in the art of rakugo.

Inari

I just want to put on a good show for our guests! You have to establish the rules before you can break them.

Mamikura

Hoh hoh, you've got me there! But it seems you've forgotten all about our precious audience members.

Inari

Oh no. I can't believe we let them see us arguing! Master Mamikura, let's get back on script.

Mamikura

Very well. Today's rakugo requires a brief explanation. It'll make you laugh, cry, and tremble in fear.

Mamikura

It'll be strange and a little chaotic, and it'll go on for some time. But we hope you enjoy all the stories we tell.

Inari

There won't be a dull moment! It won't be perfect, but we're giving this our all!

Mamikura

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!

Mamikura

...I think that does it for the introduction.

Inari & Mamikura

Let's begin.

A short while before something was lost from the hearts of Gensokyo's residents...

(I wonder what Miss Ran's doing.)

Miss Raaan! What's up?

Ran

Oh, it's you, PLAYER.

Ran

Have you seen Chen? I've been looking for her everywhere...

Hmm, I haven't seen her today.

Did something happen?

Ran

I sent her on an errand to the village this morning, but she never came back. I even told her I had another job for her.

Ran

Hopefully she's just taking the scenic route home, but there's a chance she's run into trouble...

That IS a little worrying!

You really care for her, don't you?!

Ran

Only because she's my shikigami! I'm basically like her mother... A-Actually, forget I said that!

Ran

Th-That reminds me. Lady Yukari's given me plenty of jobs to do. I could use a helping paw!

(She seems really flustered!)

I can help you look for Chen if you like?

Ran

Really?! That'd be great.

Ran

There's no way she's avoiding me... right?

Ran

Maybe she played a prank and is scared of getting told off. But if you're with me, I'm sure she'll feel safe.

You're right. She could be hiding from you!

I wonder if she finished the errand you sent her on.

Ran

I already checked. The letter I gave her from Lady Yukari has been delivered.

(She went through the trouble of checking herself...)

Ran

So, if something happened, it would've been on her way back. Maybe she found a patch of catnip.

Ran

I asked around the village earlier, so it's time to broaden my search.

Ran

But with all the trouble I'm going through, I should've just used a tracking shikigami to follow her...

Small Kappa

So what's the punchline?!

Kappa Wearing Glasses

Yeah, no fair. That can't be it.

Kappa in Despair

Hrmm. We're running outta patience here.

Chen

No way! Don't you get it? Hang on, I'll tell it once more!

Chen

The other day, I attended a cat gathering...

Chen

Lady Yukari had told me about some high-quality catnip growing nearby, so we all went to look for it.

Chen

But none of us could find it, so we decided to go on a cat TRIP instead!

Chen

Pretty funny, right?!

Small Kappa

Uhh, no.

Kappa Wearing Glasses

Even cats wouldn't find that funny.

Kappa in Despair

Catnip and cat trip. Hrmm, I guess it's not THAT bad. But I doubt cats would be smart enough to get it...

Ran

(I can't quite make out what they're saying. What's going on?)

(Are they joking around... or arguing?!)

Chen

You guys are so mean!

Chen

Besides, cats love catnip, so if there's a chance of finding some high-quality catnip―

Small Kappa

Who cares about catnip?! Your joke wasn't funny, and that's that!

Kappa Wearing Glasses

Even kids and baby kittens would roll their eyes at it. You clearly don't understand kappa humor.

Kappa in Despair

I was so ready to laugh. You really got my hopes up, you know? Shame on you.

Small Kappa

I've had enough. I gotta find some way to vent my anger!

Ran

Stop! I won't let you hurt Chen!

Chen

L-Lady Ran?!

Small Kappa

This is none of your business. We're mad 'cause recently, we lost our ability to laugh!

Kappa Wearing Glasses

So when this cheerful cat showed up, we figured she must've stolen it.

Kappa in Despair

We told her we knew where to find catnip. All she had to do was tell us a joke...

Chen

*gulp*

Kappa in Despair

Hrmm, this conversation isn't funny at all. I just wanna laugh. I wanna laugh so hard I forget this whole ordeal.

Ran

Laughter, catnip, jokes... What are you lot on about?

Small Kappa

If that stupid cat can't tell us a good joke, then we'll just make you tell us one!

Kappa Wearing Glasses

That's a great idea.

Kappa in Despair

You wanna protect her? Then think of something funny. Hahaha! ...That was a fake laugh, by the way.

Small Kappa

Well, it wasn't funny. If this fox doesn't wanna make us laugh, then let's battle her!

Ran

There's no getting through to you guys, huh? But you insulted my Chen...

Ran

So if you want a battle, that's exactly what you'll get!

Small Kappa

I'm all outta energy...

Kappa Wearing Glasses

I can't laugh. This sucks. I can't be bothered to do anything.

Kappa in Despair

So this is rock bottom, huh? Hahaha... No, that's not laughter, that's just the sound of hope leaving my body.

Small Kappa

Forget it. Let's just go home.

Ran

They finally calmed down. But what had gotten into them?

Chen

*sob* Lady Ran! That was soooo scary!

Ran

I'm glad you're OK. I was worried when you didn't come back from your errand.

Chen

*sob* I'm sowwy! I heard those kappa talking about catnip on my way back, and...!

Ran

So they really did know where to find catnip...

Chen

*sigh*

Ran

You gave me a real fright. I'll have to tell you off later. For now though, head back to Lady Yukari's place.

Chen

OK... (Lady Ran was worried about me!)

I'm glad Chen's OK...

But what was up with the kappa?

Ran

I don't know... I think I'd better get to the bottom of this.

Is it OK if I help?

I'm afraid there might be others just like them!

Ran

Fine. If we run into any trouble, I'll protect you.

Ran

Let's get going.

Ran

We made it to the village... but I can't help but feel like something's not right.

Ran

There are barely any people around, and the ones that are look like they're in terrible moods.

The weather's nice, but no one's smiling.

Ran

You better watch out. Just because we're in the village doesn't mean things won't get ugly.

I hear something up ahead. Let's go check it out!

Ran

W-Wait up!

Ran

I can't tell whether she's brave or just plain reckless...

Human Girl

You're so boring! That's why you'll never have any friends!

Human Boy

What are you on about? I just wanted to say I like the way you did your hair today...

Human Girl

As if I care! Besides, you said my hair buns look like a pair of onions!

Human Girl

If you're gonna say nice things, at least think about them first!

Human Boy

I tried. I wanted to say you look cute...

Human Girl

Well, you failed! ...And now all I can think about is how sad I am.

Human Girl

Even though your compliment sucked, I wanted to smile and say thank you... but I couldn't.

Human Boy

Wait, don't go!

She ran off crying...

Ran

Kids fight all the time, but she seemed extra emotional.

Ran

I'm not worried about the boy, but there's definitely something going on with the girl.

Ran

The kappa said they were mad because they haven't been able to laugh lately. And now this...

Ran

Everyone's upset without a clue how to cheer themselves up. It's like their emotions are running amok.

Ran

Or rather, it's like they've lost something that was keeping them in good spirits.

The kappa and the girl were angry, but also sad.

I think one of the kappa said they wanted to laugh...

Ran

You're right. But it's too soon to draw any conclusions.

Ran

Then again, if whatever's happening here spreads, we'll all be in for a rough time.

Ran

Me, you, and Chen are the same as normal, but there's no guarantee that'll last.

Ran

We need more information. Let's take a closer look around the village.

Ran

Hello. Is Keine here?

Children

Yep!

Children

Miss Keine! Someone's here to see you!

Keine

Why, if it isn't PLAYER and Ran. It's rare for you to be here. Are you interested in taking some classes?

Ran

Not today. We actually came to talk to you.

Ran

It seems like everyone here is still acting normal...

Keine

...Why wouldn't they be? If something's going on, I'd very much like to know.

Keine

So people's emotions are becoming unstable, huh? I suppose the only silver lining here is that you realized quickly.

Ran

Yes, but whatever's affecting them could start to spread. I figured you might know something about it.

Keine

Sorry, but I'm hearing all of this for the first time. Although, I noticed the villagers were a little more riled up than usual.

Keine

All I can tell you is the children here haven't changed at all. I'm glad to see I can say the same for you two.

Ran

Me too. So all we know right now...

Ran

...is that powerful youkai and the majority of human kids haven't been affected, huh?

Ran

We don't have enough info to figure out what's going on, but it was still worth coming here.

Ran

Thanks, Keine. We're going to head back out and look for a way to fix this.

Keine

I must say, I'm awfully worried about the humans. If there's anything I can do, just let me know.

Ran

We gotta help the humans, but first, let's find out how the youkai are doing.

Ran

If they start flying off the handle, there won't be much we can do.

Flying off the handle...?

I-Is this really a job for us?

Ran

...If things get out of hand, we may have to inform Lady Yukari. But I'd rather deal with this ourselves.

Ran

I just hope we can talk the youkai down. Or at least face them in a battle of bullets. Either way, we gotta act fast.

Ran

...Right on cue. You heard that right? Let's go check it out.

Wakasagihime

I'm bored of this game already.

Wakasagihime

Hey, Kagerou, have got anything else we can play?

Kagerou

That's, like, the thirtieth game you've gotten bored with. I'm all out.

Wakasagihime

You're just saying that to be mean.

Wakasagihime

Sekibanki told me you've got loads of new games!

Kagerou

Well, I don't! What's gotten into you, Wakasagihime?

Wakasagihime

I can't believe you'd lie to me like that... I see. So the two of you are tryna phase me out, huh?

Kagerou

Why would we do that?! Seriously, what's up with you today?

Ran

This doesn't sound like a regular falling out. We better hurry.

Ran

Hey, you two. Sounds like you're not getting on so well. Want to fill us in?

Wakasagihime

You're that sage's shikigami! Wh-What are you doing here?!

Kagerou

Yeah, what gives? And why's PLAYER with you?

Ran

We're investigating something together. So, are you going to tell us what's going on here or not?

Wakasagihime

If we do, there won't be as much time to play. C'mon, Kagerou, gimme a new game already!

Kagerou

How many times have I gotta tell you I don't have any more?!

Wakasagihime

You can't hide them from me! I wanna play the same ones you and Sekibanki play!

Ran

Will you two calm down for a second? Let's―

Kagerou & Wakasagihime

WE ARE CALM!

Ran

OK, if we want them to talk, we've only got one option...

Ran

A battle of bullets!

Kagerou & Wakasagihime

W-We lost...

Wakasagihime

...Wait, what were we talking about, again?

Kagerou

I dunno, but I think we were arguing. Normally, we'd never get angry at each other like that.

Ran

We managed to calm them down, but I wonder for how long.

Ran

At this rate, their frustrations are just going to build up until they snap again.

Ran

I thought we'd have made more progress by now. If only there was someone who knew what was going on...

???

Hmm, something's definitely not right around here. I hope it's nothing too serious.

???

*sniff* It smells like... that youkai fox. I better hurry!

Restless Tengu

More jokes!

Angry Tengu

Lame, lame, lame!

Pitiful Tengu

Can't laugh, can't laugh...

Ran

These guys sure don't quit!

Ran

You hanging in there, PLAYER?

I'm fine!

I'm more worried about you!

???

Cut it out! Fighting like that's just gonna get you both injured!

Ran

It's you...!

Miss Mamizou!

Mamizou

Hoh hoh hoh, the hero always makes a dramatic appearance!

Mamizou

Wipe those confused looks off your faces. I'm here to help!

Mamizou

And that takes care of that. Those tengu sure were acting strange, though.

Ran

I can't believe they were asking phantoms to tell them jokes. All they know are scary stories... It's lucky they got away.

Ran

Anyway, thanks for your help, Mamizou. I've never seen phantoms and tengu fighting like that...

Mamizou

Hmm, you're right. Wanna tell me what's going on here?

Ran

You got it. We actually came here to continue our investigation...

Mamizou

So the phantoms were just chatting when the tengu showed up demanding jokes?!

Ran

Yep. We were trying to protect the phantoms, but we couldn't fend off all the tengu alone.

Mamizou

Before that, Chen was attacked, and you saw Wakasagihime and Kagerou arguing, huh? I got a bad feeling about this.

Are you investigating all this stuff, too?

Is that why you showed up when you did?!

Mamizou

Yep, but that's not all. A little while ago...

A short while before laughter was lost from the hearts of Gensokyo's residents, in the bake-danuki's den...

Mamizou

Did everyone enjoy tonight's Moon-viewing party?

Mamizou

Good.

Mamizou

The sun's about to rise, but before it does, I have something I want to talk to you all about.

Young Tanuki

*concerned murmuring*

Mamizou

Don't worry, it's nothing bad. Tell me, what is it we bake-danuki are best at?

Smart Young Tanuki

Disguising ourselves!

Mamizou

That's right. Thanks for the enthusiasm.

Mamizou

I'm sorry to tell you that recently, a nasty youkai tricked one of us!

Young Tanuki

*gasp*

Mamizou

Don't worry, I'm not mad. Just keep quiet and listen.

Mamizou

You all know Sannyo Komakusa, don't you? That's right. She's the yamajorou who sometimes goes by Komakusa-dayuu.

Mamizou

Not long ago, a young bake-danuki found herself in Sannyo's gambling den.

Mamizou

And then... Actually, let's mix things up a bit.

???

I'll tell you what happened in the form of rakugo. Say hello to Master Mamikura Rokkaya, the famed story teller!

Young Tanuki

*applause*

Mamikura

One day, Sannyo stepped out of her gambling den to get some fresh air, when she saw a young bake-danuki sound asleep.

Mamikura

The bake-danuki awoke and said she was too hungry to move. Sannyo is kind for a yamajorou, so she gave her some food.

Mamikura

After she'd eaten, the bake-danuki left, but she visited the den the very next day, hoping to repay Sannyo's kindness.

Mamikura

Sannyo asked her to disguise herself as a dice and land on specific numbers.

Mamikura

One of the sides had a picture of a grill on it, so Sannyo gave the bake-danuki signals, like "grilled mochi" and "barbecue."

Mamikura

But the bake-danuki forgot what she was supposed to do, transformed into a barbecue, and burned the place down!

Mamikura

If this was a real rakugo show, that'd be the punchline. But in reality, the bake-danuki just got tricked into using her powers.

Mamikura

Remember, we bake-danuki are the tricksters, not the trickees. Make sure you don't end up like she did!

Young Tanuki

*cheering and applause*

Mamikura

Everyone's legs must be numb from all this kneeling, huh? Let's have a battle of bullets to loosen up!

Mamikura

Great battle! I hope you all had fun, but don't forget what we talked about!

Mamizou

(They're so adorable. But something doesn't feel right...)

Mamizou

(It's faint, but whatever this is, it might spread across Gensokyo. Luckily, it isn't strong enough to affect me.)

Mamizou

(And the young bake-danuki are acting normally... but I still gotta figure this out.)

Mamizou

So yeah, I was looking after the young bake-danuki, but I came to find out what's going on.

Mamizou

That's when I ran into you guys!

Mamizou

Piecing together all the info we have, it sounds like whatever's affecting these people is like the common cold.

Mamizou

Everyone with the strength to fight it off is fine. Youkai, hermits, and gods are all powerful enough not to worry.

Ran

Yeah, but I've never heard of a cold with symptoms like this.

Mamizou

I was just tryna make an analogy. You weren't meant to take it literally.

Mamizou

Although, I suppose that's part of your charm. Anyway...

Mamizou

What do you do when you catch a cold, PLAYER?

Umm, take some medicine...

And get lots of rest. That's about it, I think.

Mamizou

Hoh hoh. Sounds perfect to me. If you do that, you'll recover in no time.

Ran

But this isn't a common cold. There's no guarantee people will recover on their own...

Mamizou

Hmm... Sounds to me like you lack imagination.

Mamizou

For someone physically weak, a cold can be deadly. Surely you knew that already.

Mamizou

I'm telling you, whatever's affecting people now is just like the common cold.

Ran

How can you be so sure?

Mamizou

You gotta think a little more about what we've seen. Some people were sad, some were angry... and some were both.

Ran

...I think I get it now.

Ran

It's like a common cold... for the spirit. Right?

Mamizou

Exactly! It knew you'd get there eventually.

Ran

Eventually, huh? You're starting to remind me of Lady Yukari.

Ran

Assuming you're right, why haven't the school children and the young bake-danuki been affected?

Mamizou

Hm. If this is a spiritual cold, maybe it's not about having the strength to fight it off, but about having immunity to it...

Ran

So you're saying kids are immune to it, but adults aren't?

Mamizou

Hoh hoh hoh, that's right!

Mamizou

Children lose their innocence as they grow old just as much as they lose their vitality.

Mamizou

And perhaps it's that innocence that serves as their immune system.

Mamizou

That goes for your shikigami and PLAYER. Some of the weaker youkai can be pretty odd, right?

Ran

The affected youkai did seem a little strange. All the youkai and humans we've seen say they want to laugh but can't.

Ran

Humans in particular tend to suppress their sadness and laughter as they grow.

Ran

But that makes them more rigid and fragile. Kids, on the other hand, can find humor in all kinds of trivial things.

Mamizou

Come to think of it, you're right.

Ran

It's amazing how you figured all this out considering how little information we had.

Mamizou

Hoh hoh hoh, I know, right?! I'm used to working without much info!

Mamizou

But I was only able to get this far 'cause of what I saw with my own eyes.

Mamizou

As I was thinking about this and that, I found myself at Hakurei Shrine...

Mamizou

There aren't many people here today. Although, I guess that's nothing out of the ordinary.

Mamizou

There's Aunn! She seems to have a good head on her shoulders.

Aunn

...

Mamizou

Hoh hoh, it ain't hard to tell she's upset! I dunno what good it'll do, but I'll say hello.

Mamizou

How you doing, Aunn?!

Aunn

*sob* *sob*

Aunn

I have no one...!

Mamizou

Wh-Whoa, things are worse than I thought! What happened?

Aunn

I have no one to protect!

Aunn

No one!

Mamizou

I can't believe someone as strong and loyal as you has ended up like this.

Aunn

*sob* *sob* *chomp*

Mamizou

Hey, quit biting my tail! What did I do to deserve this?!

Aunn

I have to protect everyone! ROOOAR!

Mamizou

That's it. This calls for a battle of bullets!

Mamizou

You sure put up a fight. Have you calmed down at all?

Aunn

Y-Yeah. Thanks to you, that is...

Aunn

Recently, I haven't had the chance to protect anyone. I've been so bored.

Aunn

I don't mind a bit of peace and quiet. I just want to protect everyone's laughter. But somehow I ended up losing my own...

Mamizou

Don't be too hard on yourself. And don't worry, I'll figure out how to get your laughter back.

Aunn

*sob* Th-Thank you!

Mamizou

―And that's how I left things with Aunn. Then as I was on the move, I heard your voices!

Ran

Got it.

Ran

We're starting to work this all out, but what should we do from here?

Mamizou

It's not like any of us were asked to fix this mess.

Mamizou

Although... I don't mean to sound like Aunn, but there are people I wanna protect. I'll do whatever I can for them.

Mamizou

...No, protecting people doesn't suit me. I'm more about bringing 'em together.

Ran

You really are a mystery. But it sounds like you've got a lot of connections.

Mamizou

Hoh hoh hoh! I guess I do. You'd be surprised what opportunities come your way when you can disguise yourself!

Mamizou

...You look like you got something to say, huh? If you just wanna chat, we can do that some other time.

Ran

Nothing gets past you, does it? I'll come right out with it...

Ran

What do you say we work together on this?

Mamizou

Huh... Did your master order you to say that? Or is it coming straight from you?

Ran

Straight from me. This thing is affecting humans and youkai. It could upset the balance of power in Gensokyo.

Ran

My shikigami... Chen has already suffered because of it. I have to do something.

Ran

So I'm asking for your help. I have to fix this.

Mamizou

...

Ran

I can't ask Lady Yukari to save us. I haven't told her what's going on and I don't plan to.

Ran

I'm making my own decisions for a change. I think that's what Lady Yukari would want.

Ran

And I decided that teaming up with you is my best bet.

Ran

It's a joke―a bake-gitsune asking a bake-danuki for help. But that's exactly what I'm doing.

Mamizou

Hmm...

Mamizou

Foxes and tanuki have been rivals for countless generations.

Mamizou

Like you said, us working together sounds almost farcical.

Mamizou

But we're more than a fox and a tanuki. You're a shikigami, and I'm a greater youkai who leads the bake-danuki.

Ran

You're right. And that's why I'm asking for your help.

Ran

Mamizou Futatsuiwa, leader of the bake-danuki, I beg for your co-operation!

Mamizou

Hoh hoh! How can I say no to that?!

Ran

Does that mean...?

Mamizou

Yes, I'll help you... no matter what comes our way.

Thank you, Miss Mamizou!

Great job, Miss Ran!

Mamizou

But I have one condition! I won't lift a finger until you agree to it.

Ran

A condition, huh...? I guess I should've expected something like this.

Ran

Fine. Let me hear it.

Mamizou

The condition is...

Mamizou

You have to beat me in a battle of bullets!

Mamizou

I lost! But what a way to lose, am I right?

Yep, that was an amazing battle!

Ran

So... are you going to help me now?

Mamizou

Take a look at yourself in the mirror. All the stress seems to have vanished.

Ran

You're right! Was that why you wanted a battle all along...?

Mamizou

Who knows? But I had great fun. And besides, who wants a stressed-out teammate?

Mamizou

...Right then. Allow me to make a suggestion!

Mamizou

I know a great place in the village. Whaddya say we go there together?!

Ran

It doesn't look like anyone's used this building in a while...

Mamizou

It's a yose. Basically, a theater for rakugo. You know what rakugo is, right? The art of storytelling.

It's a little run down...

Mamizou

Hmm... We'll have to fix it up a bit before we use it.

Ran

Did you say... we're gonna use it? I agree it'd be good to have a base of operations, but surely there are better options.

Mamizou

A base of operations? Good one!

Mamizou

But, no. We're gonna use this place to perform rakugo.

Ran

I get that. It's just...

Ran

Wait, what did you say!?

Ran

I mean, I heard you've been performing for the young bake-danuki, but what's that got to do with me?!

Mamizou

At times, rakugo can scare the audience, bring them to tears, and most importantly... make them laugh.

Mamizou

This spiritual cold is stealing the laughter from people's hearts, which in turn, is causing them to lash out...

Mamizou

At least, that's how I see it. What about you?

Ran

You're probably right... but I don't see how us performing rakugo is going to solve anything.

Mamizou

Are you kidding?! If we give 'em a good laugh, there's a chance they'll go back to normal.

Mamizou

And if we're lucky, we might even find out what's been causing all this.

Mamizou

Performing rakugo for 'em sounds like a better plan than going around blasting 'em all with bullets.

Ran

We haven't tried curing anyone with laughter yet, but based on what they've been saying and their haywire emotions...

Ran

I agree. I think it's worth a shot.

Mamizou

They're so desperate to laugh they've lost control! Even if we can't cure 'em with rakugo, it'll be a step in the right direction.

Mamizou

And there's always a chance it does fully cure 'em. Even if it wears off after a while, that'll still give us a window of calm.

Mamizou

Which we can use to put a stop to all this.

Ran

Why rakugo, though? There are plenty of other ways to make people laugh.

Mamizou

I've known about this old theater for a while now. And when it comes to performing alone, rakugo's our best bet.

Mamizou

You don't have to sing, play instruments, or master sleight of hand. All you gotta do is practice and memorize your lines.

Ran

I see. It's easy to prepare for but can still be really entertaining.

Ran

I figured you were naturally good at it. I didn't realize you practiced. Sounds like you've got this covered.

Ran

I'll keep trying to gather information. I'll make contact every once in a while and―

Mamizou

What are you talking about? You're gonna be up on that stage with me, you know?

Ran

I-I am?! But I've never performed rakugo! I've never even thought to try!

Mamizou

As a shikigami, I'm sure you'll be able to memorize your lines. And if you watch closely, you'll catch on in no time.

Ran

...Fine. I was the one who asked for your help, after all. I have to do whatever I can to help everyone get back to normal!

Mamizou

All right, it's settled then. Let's fix up this theater and bring laughter back to Gensokyo with rakugo!

I can't wait to see you both perform!

Is there anything I can do to help?

Mamizou

When the theater opens, we'll be swamped. We'll need you to promote the shows, and make sure people can find their seats!

Ran

Leave all the behind-the-scenes stuff to me. I can get supplies for the renovations and props for the performances!

Ran

And of course, I'll perform on stage with you, too!

Mamizou

Hoh hoh, I knew I had nothing to worry about. You're as trustworthy as they come!

Mamizou

With each of us playing to our strengths, we should get to the bottom of this mystery before long.

Mamizou

Plus, me and you have a strength in common.

Ran

No one's better at disguising themselves than bake-gitsune and bake-danuki. Our species don't normally get along, but...

Mamizou

Tricking people and making them laugh with rakugo aren't so different. If we work together, there's no way we'll fail!

A few days later...

There you are, Miss Ran!

Ran

PLAYER? What's the matter?

Umm, I have a message from Mister Rinnosuke!

He said your order's ready to be picked up!

Ran

Oh, right. Thanks for letting me know. Mamizou asked him to make me a kimono for when we go up on stage.

Ran

She said dressing the part is the first step to becoming a real performer. Personally, I'm not so sure...

Ran

But if we're gonna invite humans to watch, I agree we've got to fit in.

I'm sure you'll look amazing in your kimono!

Let's go pick it up!

Ran

S-Steady there! I know you're excited, but I'm going to fall over if you tug any harder!

It's been a while since she went to try her kimono on...

Ran

Umm... What do you think?

Inari

I don't look strange in this, do I?

Not at all! You look like a real rakugo performer!

Inari

F-For real?!

Inari

N-No, umm... I'm glad you think so.

Inari

This is what hanashika―you know, rakugo performers―wear on stage, so I better get used to it.

Why are you taking it off, then?

Ran

I can't walk around in something so beautiful. I don't want to ruin it.

Ran

Besides, I'm not a real hanashika yet. I have to learn to perform in front of people before the theater renovations finish.

Ran

I think it's about time I practiced for real. I'd love to perform for someone who could give me some pointers afterward...

How about those fairies over there?

They look kinda gloomy. Maybe they've got the cold...

Ran

Hmm, that's a good idea.

Pessimistic Fairy

Existence is pain!

Despondent Fairy

I need another rest...

Impatient Fairy

This misery is about to swallow me whole!

Ran

Just listening to them is making me depressed...

Ran

But... I shouldn't let this opportunity go to waste. I'm a little nervous, but I'll try and put a smile on their faces.

Ran

Hey, you guys wanna hear a funny story? It'll make you laugh.

Pessimistic Fairy

But I've forgotten how to laugh...

Despondent Fairy

You can tell us if you want, but don't expect it to work.

Impatient Fairy

The only funny thing here is a shikigami trying to make us laugh!

Ran

Ahem. Here goes... I'm novice story teller, Inari Yakumotei.

Ran

Umm, what's next? What's next?

(She seems pretty nervous...)

(I hope she can pull this off.)

Pessimistic Fairy

Give it up already! I can only handle so much cringe!

Despondent Fairy

I expected nothing, and somehow I'm still disappointed...

Impatient Fairy

Just skip to the punchline!

Ran

Yikes, tough crowd. C'mon, PLAYER...

Ran

This calls for a battle of bullets!

Pessimistic Fairy

Now I'm in emotional AND physical pain... I need a snack and a lie-down...

Despondent Fairy

She subverted my expectations... but not in a funny way.

Impatient Fairy

Next time, give us a proper laugh!

Ran

That went terribly... I need way more practice.

Don't be too hard on yourself!

We can practice together!

Ran

You're right. Feeling sorry for myself won't help me improve. Let's head back.

Mamikura

Sounds like you had a rough time. But things always start out like that.

Inari

Really...? I couldn't talk properly with the fairies all staring up at me.

Mamizou

Talking in front of a crowd is a tricky thing. If you let them get to you, it's over. You have to be the one in control.

Ran

I won't forget about today. I got cocky and paid the price.

Mamizou

Don't be too hard on yourself. Sure, you failed, but it took guts to give it a go.

Mamizou

And just FYI, you look great in that kimono.

Mamizou

All you gotta do now is practice a ton and become a real hanashika.

Mamizou

So cheer up, OK?

Ran

Mamizou...

Ran

You're right. I've only just started learning rakugo. Next time, I'll make those fairies laugh for sure!

Mamizou

It sounds like they were making fun of you a bit. From now on, I'll train you harder than ever!

Ran

That's exactly what I wanted to hear. I'm ready when you are, Mamizou―no, Master Mamikura!

Mamizou

I like the sound of that! But be warned, I'm a strict...

Mamizou

...Huh?

Mamizou

Master?!

Inari

And with that, it's time for a story.

Inari

A rude old man moved into a house full of monsters. His servants all fled in fear, but the old man paid them no heed.

Inari

One day, he awoke to find a young karakasa-obake sitting before him. The old man then very rudely ordered her around.

Inari

The next day, a big nyuudou visited the old man.

Inari

Without fear, he began giving the nyuudou a list of chores to complete.

Inari

And then the next day, he spotted a giant tanuki!

Inari

It turns out, all of the previous creatures were the giant tanuki in disguise. The giant tanuki then said...

Giant Tanuki

"I refuse to work for you anymore. The way you treat your servants is... monstrous!"

Inari

And with that, it's time for our next performer.

Mamikura

I have a scary story for you. There once was a girl named Okiku, who drowned in a well after smashing a valuable plate.

Mamikura

Every night, her ghost appears from the well and counts plates. People often visit her, hoping for a good scare.

Mamikura

It's said that if you see her count nine plates, you die, so people watch as long as they dare before running away...

Mamikura

...But one night, there were so many people, that they couldn't all get away!

Mamikura

"Nine, ten, eleven..." counted Okiku. "...Seventeen, eighteen. Finished."

Mamikura

"Why did you count so high?" asked an onlooker.

Okiku

"Because this way, I can take tomorrow off."

Gap Youkai

"I don't remember saying you could do that!"

Mamikura

And with that, it's time for our next performer.

Chen

Gensokyo's Monster Yose is now open! Free entry for today only!

Chen

Young lady over there, young man strolling by, you're both welcome! In fact, all are welcome!

Chen

Don't worry if you're not a rakugo fan, our story tellers are monstrously funny! Plus, there'll be food and drinks!

Village Man

I've never been to a rakugo show before. Can I go in?

Of course! One guest coming through!

Who's next?! See the show free of charge!

Village Woman

I suppose I'll watch for a while...

Chen

Thank you so much! Enjoy yourself!

Taiko

*drumming*

Shamisen

*plucking*

Gong

*gonging*

Yatsuhashi

Whoa, it looks like a full house! You think we should play them something special?

Benben

Good idea. Maybe we should recite the Tale of Heike while I play the biwa.

Raiko

We could. But aren't people here to laugh?

Benben

You're right... Let's save that for another day!

Kogasa & Ichirin

The show's about to start, everyone!

Yatsuhashi

Already?!

Benben

That means we'll be performing on stage soon!

Raiko

Yep. You two better get ready!

Mamikura

The man finished his soba noodles, downed his drink, and asked for the bill. "That'll be 16 gold coins," said the waiter.

Mamikura

The man reached into his pocket and handed over not 16, but 17 coins. Why? Because he wasn't so-ber!

Inari

The drunken man looked up and saw a silver coin. He rushed home to his wife, and went for another drink to celebrate.

Inari

The next morning, he was too hungover to work, but said to his wife, "It's fine, we have that silver coin from yesterday."

Inari

"What silver coin?" she replied. "All you did was come home, point up at the Moon, then stumble back to the bar!"

Elderly Customer

"Monster Yose" is such a scary name, but these hanashika aren't bad! I haven't laughed like that in ages!

Comedy-Loving Customer

Since the master left, this place has been closed. I'm surprised it opened again so suddenly.

Elderly Customer

Me too. I wonder where these hanashika came from.

Comedy-Loving Customer

You don't think... it's a bake-gitsune and a bake-danuki in disguise, do you?!

Elderly Customer

Hahaha, no way! I can't wait for tomorrow's performance!

Mamikura

I was a little worried in the beginning, but that went really well. Ran was great, and so were the musicians.

Mamikura

Nothing beats bake-danuki singing and dancing, but as far as music goes, the tsukumogami are in a league of their own.

Mamikura

I got so carried away that my intro ran over.

Inari

The show's over. It seems like almost everyone enjoyed themselves.

Mamikura

Considering we barely had enough time to prepare, I'd say it was a huge success!

Inari

I couldn't agree more.

Inari

I kept worrying no one would show up, or that we wouldn't be able to make anyone laugh...

Inari

It was a struggle keeping my nerves in check, but once I got started, everything went great.

Mamikura

All that's left to do now is rest up for tomorrow's show!

On the third day of rakugo performances...

Inari

I can't believe it... I really screwed up.

Chen

What do you mean? The kids were all laughing hysterically.

Inari

Hmm... The story telling started out OK.

Inari

And with all the little jokes along the way, the kids were having fun.

Inari

But I made a huge mistake with the ending.

Do you mean the one about the lottery ticket...

...and the burned-down house?

Inari

Uh-huh. The man placed the ticket in his household shrine, but then his house burned down.

Inari

He'd memorized the number so he knew he'd won big, but the clerk said he couldn't claim his prize without the ticket.

Inari

Luckily, before the fire, a carpenter had removed the household shrine, which meant the ticket was safe.

Inari

So the man could pay up for the house repairs and collect the payout for the lottery―

Inari

―All because he'd put the ticket in his household shrine.

Inari

So you could say, his faith really... paid off!

Chen

Pay up, payout, and pay off! Whoever thought of that was amazing!

Inari

No doubt...

Inari

But I forget to say the part about him placing the ticket in his household shrine!

Chen

Hmm... Why's that bit so important?

Inari

'Cause without it, the part about his faith paying off comes out of nowhere.

Inari

Sure, the kids enjoyed the story, but the adults were surely waiting for a big finish.

Inari

I let them all down. When I realized what I'd done, my mind went totally blank...

Inari

I barely even remembered to thank them for coming.

Inari

I screwed up and couldn't find a way to make up for it...

Inari

We were finally starting to get some regulars. I hope this doesn't drive them away...

Chen

Lady Ran...

Don't worry, Miss Ran!

Inari

Huh...?

Performing in front of that many people is amazing!

I'm pretty sure I'd freeze the moment I got on stage!

Inari

...

Inari

...Hehe.

Inari

With that kinda enthusiasm, maybe you should be the story teller.

Inari

...Thanks, PLAYER.

Chen

She made you laugh, so it's only fair you make her laugh at the next show!

Inari

You're right! I'll have her doubled over with laughter and make up for today's mistake!

Mamikura

Looks like I wasn't needed here after all...

Mamikura

I'd say this theater of ours is about to get even more popular!

Chen

Sorry, there aren't any seats available right now! Don't worry, though. We're letting new people in for each performer!

Chen

Hm? You want to know the title of the next story? Oh, uhh... I'll have to check!

Cirno

Whoa! This is that place where you can watch rakugo!

Lily White

Th-There are so many people here!

Clownpiece

I'm gonna be the first one to get in!

Cirno

Wait up! You gotta let the STRONGEST go first!

Daiyousei

We all have to wait our... They're gone.

Chen

Hey, get back here, fairies! No cutting in line!

Cirno & Clownpiece

S-Sorry!

Miyoi

Here are the dango you ordered, sir! And here's your bento, ma'am!

Miyoi

Yakisoba? We're just making a fresh batch now! Miss Mokou, how long do you think it'll be?

Mokou

About five minutes! I'll bring some out as soon as it's done!

Miyoi

Got it! Thanks!

Tewi

Should we serve them something sweet while they wait? We have manju and ice-cream sandwiches!

Miyoi

Great idea! Let's tell all the customers!

Miyoi

Would anyone else like some sweet treats? We even have some tea to go with them!

It's like a festival out here!

(I actually wouldn't mind a bite to eat...!)

Mamizou

This place is packed! Can I have some kelp tea, Miyoi?

Miyoi

Sure! Little tanuki, can you grab that? Oh, and make sure it's not too hot.

Young Tanuki

Here you go! One tea!

Mamizou

You youngsters are doing a great job. Thanks so much. *sip* ...Ahh, this tea is delicious.

Psst. Is it OK for you to be out here?!

Even in disguise, people might recognize you!

Mamizou

Hoh hoh hoh, you sure do worry a lot. But I blend in perfectly.

Mamizou

With all these people around, no one will notice a thing!

Mamizou

With the rakugo performances and all the buzz out here, this place has become quite the attraction!

Mamizou

Which is great and all, but it means the effect of making people laugh wears off after a couple of days...

Everyone leaves the theater with a smile...

But they come back again wanting to laugh some more.

Mamizou

Hmm... Will you try keeping a closer eye on our audience members for me?

Chen

We've got a situation here! There are loads of people waiting to get into the theater, but we're already at capacity!

Impatient Fairy

I've been looking forward to this since last night! Please, just let me in to watch some rakugo!

Chen

I would, but there aren't any seats left!

Chen

Wh-What are you doing?! This isn't a money problem!

Chen

Lady Ran told me not to let anyone cut in line!

Violent Crow Tengu

Are you saying you want MORE? How 'bout we give you some bullets to smooth things over?!

Chen

N-No, that won't be necessary!

Mamizou

We better help her! So much for blending in!

Impatient Fairy

OK, OK... Just let me in for the next performer!

Violent Crow Tengu

Hrmm, fine. I guess I can wait a little longer...

Chen

That was scary... Thanks for helping me!

Mamizou

Don't mention it. It was actually a good warm-up before going on stage.

Mamizou

(Hmm... Time to take things up a notch.)

Inari

And with that, it's time for our next performer.

Musicians

*dramatic introduction music*

Mamikura

Sorry to spring this on you, Master Inari, but stay on stage a minute, would you?

Inari

What's going on, Master Mamikura?

Mamikura

Hello, everyone. If I could have your attention. I can't thank you all enough for attending our shows day after day.

Mamikura

But we're not content with our rakugo. We want to work even harder to have your sides splitting with laughter.

Mamikura

Recently, I've been terrified that the newcomer, Master Inari, is going to overtake me in popularity.

Mamikura

But I'm tired of living in fear!

Mamikura

Master Inari! I challenge you to a rakugo-off!

Audience

Whooooa!

Inari

Say whaaaaat?! Why didn't you tell me sooner?!

Mamikura

Because it was meant to be a surprise. We'll see whose rakugo is better and who can attract the bigger crowd!

Audience

Yaaaaaay!

Inari

Well, if I back down now, no one will respect the Yakumotei name ever again. You're on!

Audience

Go, Yakumotei! Go, Rokkaya!

Mamikura

Are you OK with the story we've chosen to tell?

Inari

Yep. It gives me the best shot at winning. Don't go easy on me, OK?

Mamikura

Hoh hoh hoh, I wouldn't dream of it! It's fox vs. tanuki. I look forward to seeing what you can do!

Sannyo

So this is the theater I've been hearing so much about. Who's the big fish around here?

Hi, Miss Sannyo!

There aren't any fish around here... That I know of.

Sannyo

Sorry, it's a turn of phrase.

Sannyo

Basically, I just wanna know who's in charge.

Oh. Well, that'd be Miss Mamizou!

Sannyo

I shoulda guessed. It makes sense why this place is so popular.

Sannyo

Do you know if she's free? I wanna have a word with her.

Ran

You can talk to me if you like. ...Assuming this is about what I think it is.

Ran

So, Komakusa-dayuu, what brings you here today?

Sannyo

There's no need to look so nervous. I just want to help.

Ran

Really...?

Ran

Do you promise not to open up a gambling den at our theater?

Sannyo

Hahaha, don't worry. I know this is a place for people of all ages. I'll respect the rules of your establishment.

Sannyo

Now, to business. I heard you and Mamizou were going to have a rakugo battle.

Sannyo

I'm sure your fans will go crazy, arguing about who'll come out on top.

Sannyo

That's where I come in. I want to draw extra attention to your battle by letting people predict the winner.

Sannyo

Not a bad idea, right? Whaddya say?

Mamizou

That's an interesting proposal. Tell us more.

Ran

I didn't see you there, Mamizou... Is your performance over?

Mamizou

Uh-huh. The young tanuki are tidying everything up now.

Mamizou

Sannyo, come here a moment.

Mamizou

Psst, who do you think is gonna win?

Sannyo

Hmm, according to what I've heard, I'd say...

Ran

You know I can hear you, right? What's the point of us making predictions anyway?

Sannyo

Someone needs to lighten up. We were just chatting.

Ran

...Let's just get back on topic.

Ran

If you're in charge of people making predictions about whether me or Mamizou will win...

Ran

...surely it'll end up with gambling being involved.

Sannyo

...

Ran

How do you plan to keep your promise and prevent that?

Sannyo

Don't worry. I thought of a way for kids to have fun, too.

Sannyo

I'll hand out prizes to people whether their predictions were right or wrong. That way, it won't count as gambling, right?

Sannyo

We'll have to make tickets for people to write their predictions on, so it'll cost to take part, but that shouldn't be a problem.

Sannyo

I get that you don't trust me, but relax. I'm not here to try and make a profit.

Sannyo

Festivals and events cheer people up. I just wanna help you guys help Gensokyo.

Ran

Fine. I'll take you at your word.

Mamizou

Hmm, your idea's actually kind of brilliant!

Mamizou

...But I can't give you the green light just yet. You know what's coming, don't you?

Sannyo

I didn't take you for some battle-loving oni. Sounds like you're getting a bit too into the festival spirit.

Ran

I agree with you on that.

Mamizou

What do you say, Komakusa-dayuu? Oh, and if I win, I get to add one condition!

Sannyo

Sounds interesting.

Mamizou

...So?

Sannyo

Very well. I'll show you what my Spell Cards can do!

Sannyo

Damn, I figured I'd beat you for sure.

Mamizou

Now, about my condition. Don't worry, it'll benefit you as well.

Mamizou

First, I get to select the prizes. I have something I know everyone will love!

Mamizou

And second...

Mamizou

People have to use my voting slips to make their predictions.

Sannyo

...So you supply the prizes AND voting slips, huh?

Mamizou

You don't have to use any of your own money. All I ask in return is that you make sure everyone has a good time.

Sannyo

I see why you're the leader of the bake-danuki.

Sannyo

I accept your conditions.

(Did those two just glance at each other?)

(They make a pretty good team for a fox and a tanuki.)

Mamizou

It's not long until the rakugo battle now! Let's make sure everything goes off without a hitch!

The day of the rakugo battle...

We have a special show for you today!

There'll be one performance from each story teller!

Chen

We want everyone to watch, so don't leave any seats free! There are also some standing areas specially for today!

Is that you, Miss Yuuma?!

Are you here to watch the rakugo battle?

Yuuma

Kinda. Me and Ran go way back, and I heard what was going on, so...

Yuuma

I wanted to come check it out.

Yuuma

Oh, that's...

Miyoi

Check out our winner's menu! We've got victory bento, good luck rice balls, and plenty more!

Miyoi

Eat your fill AND make sure your winner's prediction comes true!

Yuuma

Everything looks delicious. Ordinarily, I'd eat the lot of it...

Yuuma

But I better not today. I don't wanna draw any unwanted attention to myself.

Yuuma

...Right, I'd better make my way into the theater before anyone spots me. Hehehe.

Sannyo

No pushing. And certainly no cutting in line. Don't worry, there are still seats free. Fretting won't help a bit.

Sannyo

We're handing out voting slips to everyone as they enter. Make sure not to lose yours.

Sannyo

You'll be using them to predict who'll win today's rakugo battle.

Sannyo

Once you've heard both story tellers, place your slip in the voting box of whoever you liked best.

Sannyo

The story teller with the most votes wins, and all those who voted for the winner get a prize.

Sannyo

But even those who predicted incorrectly get a participation prize.

Sannyo

You can simply vote for your favorite, or judge them on their performances today. It's entirely up to you.

Sannyo

Today, you'll find out if you have the same taste in rakugo as all your friends.

Sannyo

We've got a full house for today's battle. Thank you all so much for coming!

Mamizou

Great job, Sannyo. Everyone looks ready to have a great time.

Sannyo

Thanks. Told you, I'm a yamajorou of my word.

Sannyo

My business relies on trust. I can't just go around breaking promises.

Mamizou

Hoh hoh hoh. That pride of yours can be a wondrous thing.

Sannyo

(...She's played me like a fiddle.)

Sannyo

(Oh well... I suppose this is just part of the fun.)

Ran

People are piling in. It's a good thing we prepped the standing area and balcony seats.

Mamizou

We need as many people watching the battle as possible. Speaking of which, I better get ready to go on stage.

Chen

You can do this, Lady Ran! I'm rooting for you!

Ran

Thanks, Chen. I hate to make Mamizou lose... but I'll do whatever it takes!

Mamizou

Hoh hoh hoh, sounds like you won't be holding back! Don't worry, neither will I.

Keine

The children want to watch the rakugo, so I'm here supervising them in place of their parents...

Keine

But I never thought I'd get to see you perform, Ran. I must say, I'm surprised.

Ran

You and me both. At first, I was just copying Mamizou. To think I've come this far...

Keine

You might be a sage's shikigami, but this is all thanks to your hard work.

Ran

Keine...

Keine

I can't wait to watch your performance.

Ran

Thanks. I'll do my best to make you laugh!

Miyoi

So, who are you supporting, Miss PLAYER?

Miyoi

We can't vote on account of us helping out, but we can still root for our favorite story teller!

Chen

For sure! That way, we can enjoy the battle too!

Mamizou

I see no problem with that. Go on. Who do you think is the better story teller?

Ran

Don't put pressure on her like that. She's in an awkward spot here.

Mamizou

Oh, you're right. I guess I got a little carried away!

Mamizou

She can show us who she's rooting for by sitting in one of the supporter seats when we're on stage!

Ran

Sounds good.

Ran

Feel free to root for whoever you like, PLAYER.

Both of your rakugo is amazing...

I kinda wanna root for both of you!

I can't use a supporter seat twice... I gotta choose!

Mamizou

Go on. Who do you think is the better story teller?

Ran

Feel free to root for whoever you like, PLAYER.

You

Both of your rakugo is amazing... I kinda wanna root for both of you!

You

But I've made up my mind! I'm gonna support...

Master Inari!

Master Mamikura!

Choice Selected: "Master Inari!"

Ran

Thanks. I'll give it my all.

Inari

This is a story about a stingy nukekubi. One day, they went to see the cherry blossoms, and ate lots of fallen cherries.

Inari

The next day, she had a terrible headache. When she removed her head, she found a cherry seed sprouting.

Inari

Removing the bud seemed wasteful, so she left it in. Soon, it grew into a cherry tree and blossomed.

Inari

"Let's go see the cherry blossoms!" "Which ones?" "The ones on the nukekubi's head, of course."

Inari

Dozens of youkai came to see the cherry blossoms. But with all the drinking and merriment, eventually, fights broke out.

Inari

So the nukekubi decided to remove the tree, leaving a big hole in her head, which soon filled with rain water.

Inari

Getting rid of the water seemed wasteful, so she let it be. Before long, insects, frogs, and fish began living in the water.

Inari

"Let's go fishing!" "Where?" "To the pond on the nukekubi's head, of course."

Inari

Dozens of youkai came to fish, their fish hooks latching on to the nukekubi's nose and ears.

Inari

The youkai took out little boats and even had a fireworks display, so the nukekubi challenged them to a battle of bullets!

Continue onto main branch.

Choice Selected: "Master Mamikura!"

Mamizou

Whoa, I better do my best for you.

Mamikura

This world's not short of stingy individuals. No matter how stingy you think you are, there's always someone worse.

Mamikura

Once, a stingy nukekubi went to a cherry blossom viewing party. She brought nothing to eat, and soon got hungry.

Mamikura

She saw some fallen cherries and ate the lot. The next day, she removed her aching head to find a cherry seed sprouting.

Mamikura

Taking out the bud seemed wasteful, so she left it in. Soon, it grew into a cherry tree and blossomed.

Mamikura

"Let's go see the cherry blossoms!" "Which ones?" "The ones on the nukekubi's head, of course."

Mamikura

The youkai had a party under the tree. But with all the excitement in the air, eventually, fights broke out.

Mamikura

So the nukekubi decided to remove the tree, leaving a big hole in her head, which soon filled with rain water.

Mamikura

Draining the water seemed wasteful, so she kept it. Before long, the water was full of insects, frogs, and fish.

Mamikura

"Let's go fishing!" "Where?" "To the pond on the nukekubi's head, of course."

Mamikura

The youkai were terrible fishers, and their fish hooks quickly latched on to the nukekubi's nose and ears.

Mamikura

The youkai took out little boats and even had a fireworks display, so the nukekubi challenged them to a battle of bullets!

Main Branch

Story Teller You Supported

But that solved nothing. She removed her head one last time, and with a prayer to Buddha, threw herself into the water.

Story Teller You Supported

And with that, it's time for our next performer.

Ichirin's Voice

Did everyone enjoy Inari Yakumotei and Mamikura Rokkaya's performances?

Ichirin's Voice

Unzan has just finished counting all the voting slips! There were a lot to get through, but luckily, he's very dexterous!

Kogasa's Voice

B-But that's enough about Unzan. When I heard the result, I couldn't believe it!

Kogasa's Voice

Sannyo will be on stage shortly to announce the winner, so don't leave just yet!

Chen

Hey, PLAYER, who do you think won?

Hmm, maybe Master Inari?

Hmm, maybe Master Mamikura?

Choice Selected: "Hmm, maybe Master Inari?"

Chen

Hehehe, you think so too, huh?

Chen

Miss Mamizou was great, but I think Lady Ran was better. I could really picture what was going on in the story!

Chen

Oh, there's Miss Sannyo. She's about to announce the winner!

Sannyo

Sorry to keep you all waiting. Quiet, please.

Sannyo

Thank you. The voting slips have been counted, and the winner of the rakugo battle by just a handful of votes is...

Sannyo

Master Inari Yakumotei!

Chen

She did it! She beat Miss Mamizou!

Chen

Any audience members who want to give her a gift, make sure it's fried tofu!

Continue onto main branch.

Choice Selected: "Hmm, maybe Master Mamikura?"

Chen

Right... I want Lady Ran to win, but Miss Mamizou's rakugo is pretty incredible.

Chen

I feel like I'm right there in the story...! Buuut... I'm still rooting for Lady Ran!

Chen

Oh, there's Miss Sannyo. She's about to announce the winner!

Sannyo

Sorry to keep you all waiting. Quiet, please.

Sannyo

Thank you. The voting slips have been counted, and the winner of the rakugo battle by just a handful of votes is...

Sannyo

Master Mamikura Rokkaya!

Chen

A handful of votes?! What a close contest!

Chen

I'll take any gifts people have for Master Mamikura... Hang on, I can't carry all these bottles of sake!

Main Branch

Sekibanki

That rakugo was pretty good. I can't believe the main character was a nukekubi!

Sekibanki

But...

Sekibanki

Something ain't right!

Ichirin

Hahaha... What do you mean? (Better not tell her me and Unzan were rolling around laughing the whole time...)

Sekibanki

I feel like youkai are always the bad guys!

Kogasa

Yeah, I guess you're right. But the stories are always so funny. I wanna come back sometime!

Sannyo

Wow, I can't believe you predicted the winner!

Neither can I...

But I didn't vote, so I don't get a prize!

Sannyo

Those are the rules, but where's the fun in that?

Sannyo

Mamizou told me to give you a prize if you guessed correctly.

Sannyo

Here, take this. You can think of it as a thank you for helping out if you like.

I-Is this... a replica of their fans?!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Out of interest, what was the participation prize?

Sannyo

It was... one of these.

Wh-Whoa!

Sea urchin menko!

Sannyo

Takes you back, right? ...I never thought they'd be used like this.

Tewi

Our stall did great. And the customers were all in a great mood. It's a good thing we came, right, Mokou?!

Mokou

I had my doubts when the tanuki chief asked us to come help out, but I'm glad we decided to trust her this time.

Mokou

Hey, Keine. How was it in there?

Keine

Super lively. The kids had a great laugh. It was definitely worth bringing them.

Miyoi

That's good to hear!

Miyoi

We couldn't watch the rakugo 'cause we were out here running our stalls, but could you tell us who won?

Keine

Sure. The winner was...

Rakugo-Loving Tengu

Hold up!

Late White Wolf Tengu

Yeah, I wanna know the winner too! They wouldn't let me in to watch just 'cause I got here a little late...

Mokou

There's only so much space in the theater, so it's kinda your own fault.

Tewi

Maybe you shoulda tried to arrive on time.

Regular White Wolf Tengu

I love Master Inari and come here all the time, but I'll always regret not watching today's battle.

Quiet White Wolf Tengu

Still... just finding out who won doesn't feel great either.

Miyoi

Meh, I'd be fine with it... In fact, I feel like the white wolf tengu are hijacking this conversation.

Late White Wolf Tengu

I know! Why don't we go inside?!

Regular White Wolf Tengu

Her performance is done, but Master Inari's still in there, right?! I just wanna see her for a second! Let me through!

Quiet White Wolf Tengu

Let me through, too.

Tewi

I'm not sure we can do that. Normally, people can come and go as they please, but not today.

Regular White Wolf Tengu

I'll leave as soon as I've seen her! Outta the way!

Miyoi

C-Calm down!

Keine

Uh-oh! Mokou, Tewi, help me get them under control!

Mokou & Tewi

Y-You got it!

Late White Wolf Tengu

Just try and stop us!

Mokou

Steady there!

Quiet White Wolf Tengu

I'm getting in there... whether you like it... OR NOT!

Tewi

Not a chance! I won't let you interfere with my sales―I mean, this theater!

Everyone, the winner's been announced!

Wait, what's going on out here?!

Keine

Nice timing, PLAYER! Help us stop these guys from getting into the theater!

OK!

Calm down, everyone!

Keine

Phew, that was hard work. Thanks for your help, PLAYER.

Miyoi

Come to think of it, why did you come out here in the first place?

Keine

You didn't come to tell us the results, did you?

I sure did!

Listen up, everyone!

Everyone

*gulp*

The winner of today's rakugo battle was...

Mamizou

The rakugo battle was a huge success!

Mamizou

But this is only the beginning.

Ran

Uh-huh. I doubt anyone realized the battle was completely staged.

Ran

It was scripted from the very start. Everything went off without a hitch.

You had me fooled!

I wish you'd have told me sooner, though!

Mamizou

Sorry. It's not like we didn't trust you or anything.

Ran

We had a hard time deciding whether to tell anyone.

Ran

But you've come this far with us already, so we wanted to ask you for a little more help.

I see. Well, I'll do my best for you!

So why did you want to fool everyone?

Mamizou

Because the first step to fooling your enemies is fooling your allies.

Mamizou

Our battle was staged, but we knew if you believed it was real, so would everyone else.

Ran

If what we were doing somehow got out...

Ran

We didn't want anyone unfairly accusing you of wrongdoing.

Ran

So we opted not to tell you until stage one of our plan to bring laughter back to Gensokyo was complete.

Mamizou

Yep. But that means now it's time for stage two!

Mamizou

You're well and truly in this now!

(I feel like things were always gonna end up this way!)

So, uhh... what's stage two all about?

Mamizou

Don't worry, it's simple. All we're gonna do is figure out where the culprit is.

C-Culprit?! I thought this was a cold for the spirit?!

Mamizou

It is... But someone's causing everyone to catch it.

Ran

We still haven't worked out why everyone loses their laughter. Then we realized there has to be someone behind all this.

Ran

We tried looking for clues but with no luck. And it was hard to know what kind of data would even help us.

Ran

So we decided to make people laugh, then measure how long it takes to fade.

Ran

And for that, we used our regular audience members.

Mamizou

When they leave our theater, most people are back to their normal selves.

Mamizou

But after two days, their laughter is gone again. It was you who gave us the idea to collect data.

Mamizou

With the rakugo performances and all the buzz out here, this place has become quite the attraction!

Mamizou

Which is great and all, but it means the effect of making people laugh wears off after a couple of days...

You

Everyone leaves the theater with a smile... But they come back again wanting to laugh some more.

Mamizou

Hmm... Will you try keeping a closer eye on our audience members for me?

Mamizou

We recorded where people lived and how soon they came back to the theater.

Mamizou

I told you to keep an eye of the audience members, right?

Mamizou

Well, Ran plotted a graph with the data you provided.

Mamizou

She couldn't be certain, but it seemed like people who lived in certain areas came back quicker than those living elsewhere.

Ran

I figured we needed to gather more people than ever to the theater and make them all laugh.

Ran

Which would give us a bigger pool to take data from.

Ran

That way, we could find out for sure where the spirit cold was coming from.

Ran

That was my theory, at least.

Ran

When I told Mamizou, she suggested we hold a rakugo battle.

Ran

We gave people voting slips to make their predictions with, but they were no ordinary voting slips.

Mamizou

They actually had tracking shikigami on them that I disguised.

Mamizou

There were a ton of them, but the short time between handing them out and voting was enough for them to work.

Mamizou

As soon as anyone touched one, they were possessed by a shikigami.

Ran

Tracking wasn't all the shikigami could do. They also measured laughter levels!

Ran

As everyone went home and spread out across Gensokyo, I was able to calculate what regions lost their laughter first!

Ran

It wasn't easy, though. I had to factor in the differences between each region and adjust the data accordingly. Then...

Mamizou

That'll do, Ran. PLAYER is starting to look pretty confused.

Ran

S-Sorry... I guess I got a bit carried away.

Ran

Essentially, I used the fox-hunting tactics that Lady Yukari taught me to work it all out.

Ran

It's all about tracking a moving target. It was the only way to locate the culprit.

Ran

...

Mamizou

Sounds like this conversation's gonna go on a while. I think I'll turn back to normal for now!

Mamizou

I like my disguise, but it's easier to move around like this.

Ran

All right, the culprit is...

Ran

...Wait, when did you change into that?

Mamizou

Don't worry about it. Just tell us where the culprit is.

Ran

Fine. I'll show you on this map.

Ran

There's no mistaking it, they're here. Luckily, it's pretty close.

Mamizou

Nice work, Ran! C'mon, let's go!

Yukari

To think you'd use the fox-hunting technique I taught you. And what's more―

Mamizou

Huh... Did your master order you to say that? Or is it coming straight from you?

Ran

My shikigami... Chen has already suffered because of it. I have to do something.

Ran

So I'm asking for your help. I have to fix this.

Mamizou

...

Ran

I can't ask Lady Yukari to save us. I haven't told her what's going on and I don't plan to.

Ran

I'm making my own decisions for a change. I think that's what Lady Yukari would want.

Yukari

You were right, Ran. I've always had high hopes for you.

Ran

This is the right way. We're close... but the culprit might have set some traps.

Mamizou

They're surprisingly close to the village. It's pretty obvious who they were targeting.

Mamizou

Your data analysis has gotten us as far as it can. We're better off just using our wits to find them now.

Ran

You're right. It's the same as fox hunting―you can work out roughly where the fox is, but you still have to catch it.

Ran

I don't know how they did it, but this spiritual cold has affected all of Gensokyo. They must be powerful.

Ran

They must have used some kind of huge device or elaborate ritual. I'll get a shikigami to protect PLAYER.

Thanks!

Mamizou

There are fewer trees than before. This makes it easier for us to find the culprit, but also easier for them to find us.

Mamizou

We better tread carefully.

Ran

...I've spotted them. Over there, up on the hill.

Ran

Wait. I see one, two... three people up there. And there might be more out of sight.

Mamizou

Finally. Things might get ugly, so stay sharp, everyone!

Ran

I see Mai and Satono. And is that... Kokoro?

Mamizou

Maybe they're practicing their dancing? Then again...

Ran

Yeah, something's off.

Kokoro

Hehe. Hehehe.

Kokoro

Haha... *sniff*

Kokoro

PAH! HAHAHA!

Mai

That's it, that's it!

Satono

Next, I want you to giggle softly, then laugh as if your evil scheme is going well.

Mamizou

It doesn't look like they're practicing together. If anything, it looks like Mai and Satono are controlling Kokoro.

Ran

She giggled, then laughed while holding back tears, then laughed hysterically... What on earth's going on here?

So the culprits are Mai, Satono... and Kokoro?

Actually, maybe Kokoro's a victim...

Mamizou

Well, she's definitely being made to laugh. Let's go and have a word.

Mamizou

Hey, what are you guys up to?

Mai

M-Mamizou?! This is none of your business!

Satono

Yeah. Kokoro asked us to help her practice her dancing, so that's what we're doing. Stop distracting us.

Ran

Has her "dancing" got anything to do with laughter?

Mai & Satono

*gasp*

Ran

Or to be more specific, stealing other people's laughter?

Satono

Wh-What are you talking about? We're just doing what we were told.

Mai

Yeah, Master asked us to help Kokoro! So leave us alone!

Mamizou

Master, huh? So Okina Matara's the one behind all this.

Mai & Satono

Oops...

Mai & Satono

Don't tell her we said that!

Ran

Whatever you're doing to help Kokoro, it's causing trouble across Gensokyo.

Ran

We have proof, so don't bother running. Just give yourselves up!

Mai

Wh-What do we do, Satono?!

Satono

W-We can't let them stop us! We gotta beat them...

Mai & Satono

...in a battle of bullets!

Mai

Owww.

Satono

Why'd this have to happen to us?

Ran

Had enough? Well then, I think it's about time you told us what's really going on here.

Satono

We would... but it's not like we were trying to cause trouble.

Mai

We were just following Master's orders!

Mamizou

This is going in circles. Why don't you tell us what Okina told you to do?

Satono

Umm... First, she gave us some special magic power...

Mai

Then she told us to imbue Kokoro with it and get her to practice laughing.

Mai

It was so much fun trying out different kinds of laughs.

Mamizou

All right, I get the picture. You can go now.

Mai

First you interrupt us, then you question us, and now you want us to leave?!

Satono

*sigh* I'm beat. C'mon, Mai. Let's just go home.

Mai

Hrmm... Fine, but I'm not happy about all this.

Ran

Looks like that's as much info as we're getting. Now we need to find a way to get Kokoro back to normal.

Ran

She hasn't stopped dancing yet. If she keeps this up, she could get hurt.

Mamizou

They said something about imbuing her with magic. If we can undo that, maybe she'll be OK.

Mamizou

C'mon, let's figure out how to save her!

Kokoro

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Kokoro

Hehe. Hehehehe...

Kokoro

Hohoho!

Ran

Technically, she's laughing, but...

Mamizou

It's more like she's gone completely insane.

Mamizou

I know she's the reason everyone's losing their laughter, but I feel kinda sorry for her.

Ran

Yeah... We can't even talk to her when she's like this.

W-We gotta help her, quick!

Kokoro

Hehe haha hoho!

Ran

I hate to do this...

Mamizou

Me too, but it's not like we have a choice!

Kokoro

...

Mamizou

Well, she's not laughing anymore.

...Is she gonna be OK?

Ran

I can't detect any of Okina's magic in her. I think we got rid of it all.

Ran

And I don't see any sign of injury.

Ran

If the shrine maiden was here, I'm sure she'd say the target's been purified.

Ran

It'll just take a little time for her to get back to normal...

Mamizou

Or we could just give her a little... JOLT!

Kokoro

*gasp* U-Uhh, is that you, Miss Mamizou?!

Mamizou

The one and only! If you recognize me, that must mean you're back to your old self.

Ran

Glad to see you're better, Kokoro. Can you remember what happened to you?

Kokoro

Of course. Mai and Satono were helping me practice Noh laughing.

Mamizou

Why did you let them do that?

Kokoro

I didn't "let" them do anything. I asked for their help!

Kokoro

I was having so much fun that I completely lost track of time. I'm exhausted now!

Ran

She doesn't seem to think she was tricked.

Mamizou

We better leave her be.

Mamizou

We know the secret god was behind this. But why did she use Kokoro like that?

Ran

Mai and Satono left without much of a fight. If nothing else happens, I guess that's the end of this.

Mamizou

You're right. Okina was using Kokoro for her ability. Maybe she achieved what she set out to do.

Kokoro

Are you guys whispering about me?! How embarrassing!

Mamizou

Hoh hoh hoh, we were just saying how amazing your Noh is!

Mamizou

For now, you should rest up. We have something to show you later!

Kokoro

Sounds good to me!

Okina

So after the battle, you two just ran away?

Mai & Satono

We're sorry, Master!

Okina

You two always do such a great job. And this time is no different.

Okina

I was actually about to call you back anyway. You kept it up for a really long time.

Satono

Thank you!

Mai

We thought you'd be super angry!

Okina

I would never get angry at my two adorable servants. (Well, almost never.)

Okina

Thanks to your hard work, I was able to collect some great data.

Satono

What sort of data can you get from making someone dance?

Mai

I was about to ask the same thing!

Okina

Fine, I'll tell you. It's not like it's a big secret.

Okina

The other sages and I are tasked with protecting Gensokyo...

Okina

For that, we have to make Gensokyo itself stronger. And Gensokyo's biggest potential strength is its people.

Okina

I don't mean physical or political strength. I'm talking about the strength to withstand arduous situations.

Okina

So I set out to test the people's resilience by creating an environment devoid of laughter.

Okina

I could've chosen a few of them to test, but I opted to run a larger-scale experiment, almost like a penetration test.

Okina

I had you two use Kokoro to rob the people of laughter.

Mai

So that's what the dance practice was for! I had no idea!

Okina

If the people can't find a way to laugh in desperate situations, then their spirits are clearly too fragile.

Okina

Or to put it another way, those who can always find a way to laugh are capable of overcoming almost anything.

Satono

Hmm... I think I get it now.

Okina

You two didn't visit the village, but there are those who found a way to restore people's laughter...

Okina

Mamizou Futatsuiwa and Ran Yakumo.

Okina

Humans and youkai alike were distraught without laughter, but Mamizou and Ran's rakugo saved the day.

Okina

The arts truly are incredible! I can't wait to run more experiments like this one and gather more data.

Okina

But for now, I should thank you both once again. Great work out there.

Okina

In fact, I should get you something delicious as a treat!

Mai & Satono

Yay! You're the best, Master!

Inari

No one wanted to eat such moldy tofu. But then, they saw a young man, who everyone agreed was a bit of a know-it-all.

Inari

One person suggested that, with a little salesmanship, the young man might eat the tofu.

Inari

"You there! Do you fancy some tofu on this fine summer day?"

Inari

"I've never seen tofu like that before." "I hadn't either, but it's quite the delicacy." "Well then, let me have a taste."

Inari

The young man took one small bite, and his face turned pale.

Inari

"This is mature tofu, isn't it?" "Wh-Why, yes. Have as much" as you'd like." "No thanks. I'm too full already."

Inari

And with that, it's time for our next performer.

Kokoro

I had no idea rakugo was this funny!

Kokoro

I wanna try it for myself! Master Mamikura, teach me how!

Mamikura

Hoh hoh! I'm no teacher, but if you come to the next tanuki Moon-viewing party, you can listen to some more.

Kokoro

F-For real?!

Kokoro

I'll see you then!

Kokoro

Master Inari, will you teach me?! Pleeease!

Inari

Sorry, I'm nowhere near good enough for that.

Inari

Although... we freed you from Okina's magic, so I could teach you a little.

Inari

...But not for free!

Kokoro

No way! How much is it gonna cost?!

Inari

Haha, I was only joking. I've still got a lot to learn, but you can practice with me if you like.

Oh, I see! "Freed" and "free!"

It's just like the wordplay in rakugo!

Kokoro

I-I get it now! Hmm, rakugo sure is complicated!

Mamikura

You're right about that! Come to think of it, this whole ordeal was similar to the man whose house burned down.

Mamikura

There was a disaster, voting slips, i.e., lottery tickets, and a happy ending!

Inari

Good one. But I wanted to be the one to wrap things up. ...I know. I challenge you to a rakugo battle!

Mamikura

You got it!

Inari & Mamikura

And with that, it's time for our next performers!

Let's take a look back to around the time Inari and Mamikura's rakugo theater was gaining popularity.

The following events occurred between their performances.

Make sure you're sitting comfortably, and enjoy the show.

Mamikura

Hm, were we a little slow getting ready? I don't see PLAYER anywhere.

Inari

Well, you certainly took your time.

Mamikura

Hoh hoh hoh, I had to make sure I look my best.

Mamikura

You never know when one of our fans might spot us.

Inari

*gasp*

Inari

I-I don't think we're that famous yet, Master.

Miss Mamizou, Miss Ran―wait, no...

Master Mamikura, Miss Inari!

Mamikura

Sorry to keep you waiting, PLAYER.

Are you going out dressed like that?!

You have a show tonight, don't you?

Mamikura

What's the matter? It's not like we're gonna get them messy or anything.

Inari

Didn't you say you wanted to slurp down some soba noodles today?

Mamikura

*gulp*

Mamikura

F-Fine, let's just buy some food and eat it in the dressing room.

Inari

Sounds good. I'm gonna go get some inari sushi!

Mamikura

Is that Miyoi from Geidontei and Mystia?

Inari

They both run restaurants of sorts, so it's no surprise they're here.

Wanna go see what they're talking about?

Miyoi

Miss―I mean, Master Mamikura, Master Inari. Great job with your afternoon show!

Mystia

Looks like you had a full house again!

Hi, guys!

What were you talking about before?

Miyoi

As it happens, there's a competition to see who can make the most money out here today.

Mystia

There's no prize or anything. I was just asking if Miss Miyoi wanted to take part.

Miyoi

I said yes, and when we checked the post-lunch-rush leaderboard...

Mystia

My lamprey stall and Geidontei were basically neck-and-neck!

Miyoi

It seems like people have been buying one or two things from each stall and sharing them with their friends.

Miyoi

So everyone's sales are pretty similar.

Which means there's no clear winner, huh?

That's a shame.

Miyoi

Yeah...

Miyoi

It'd be nice to be number one. There are plenty of hungry people around here, so I thought it was possible.

Miyoi

But I guess the only thing that really matters is that the customers are happy.

Mystia

Even though no one's winning, we're all turning a profit. So, who are we to complain?!

Makes sense.

Mamikura

What do you two say we each buy something to share?

Inari

Sure. That way I can eat inari sushi AND some of whatever you and PLAYER choose.

That somehow feels like a great deal!

Let's go and see what food people are selling!

Mamikura

Just going around looking for stuff to buy doesn't sound fun enough.

Mamikura

All right, Ran―

Inari

Master... when I'm wearing this, you have to call me Inari.

Mamikura

Oops, you're right!

Mamikura

All right, Inari, as we look for things to eat, whaddya say we practice our rakugo skills?

Inari

What do you mean?

Mamikura

You know, we can try and tell little jokes using the food as inspiration.

Inari

Right! It'll be just like the wordplay segment at the end of rakugo shows.

Mamikura

Not quite, but yeah. It'll be good for us. Story tellers have to be quick-witted, after all.

Mamikura

Consider it another part of your training.

Inari

Do you really think I'm up to this?

Mamikura

There's nothing to worry about. Just say whatever you think is funny.

Mamikura

First, you've got to observe your surroundings. Be aware of the events and conversations going on nearby.

Inari

Right. I have to focus...

You can do it, Miss Ran!

Let's give it our all, Master Inari!

Inari

...

Inari

Thanks, PLAYER.

Inari

Master Mamikura, I'm ready.

Mamikura

...!

Mamikura

Hoh hoh hoh, there's no need to be so tense.

Mamikura

You'll never get any laughs with an expression like that on your face.

Mamikura

Remember, the main priority is buying lunch. Just have fun with it.

Mamikura

Whoa! Check out the fairies going crazy over there.

That's Cirno and Clownpiece!

I see Daiyousei and Lily White, too.

Inari

Those guys are always together...

Inari

...Hang on. It looks like they're arguing. I hope they don't hurt each other.

Mamikura

Meh, they're only fairies. Maybe this'll give us some inspiration for jokes!

Inari

Then let's go!

You might be underestimating them, Master Mamikura...

Master Inari, don't run so fast!

Mamikura

It'll be fine, PLAYER.

Mamikura

This is all good experience. For me AND Inari.

Cirno

You're a liar!

Clownpiece

Am not, am not, am not!

Daiyousei

Cut it out, you two!

Lily White

People are starting to stare!

Inari

Hey, why are you being so loud?

Inari

...Not that that's anything out of the ordinary for you guys.

I feel like that's not the point...

What's going on here, anyway?

Daiyousei

Oh, it's PLAYER and the rakugo people! You came at the right time!

Cirno

Hey, PLAYER, you know what anpan is, don't you?

The bread stuffed with red bean paste?

Yeah, I know it.

Cirno

And is it scary?!

Everyone

...Huh?

Clownpiece

I'm telling you, anpan scares me!

Mamikura

Hold up, can somebody fill us in?

Mamikura

All this anpan nonsense doesn't make a lick of sense.

Daiyousei

R-Right.

Daiyousei

Let's tell them everything, guys.

Lily White

We were talking about what we're all scared of.

Cirno

I'm the strongest, so I'm not scared of anything.

Clownpiece

Yeah, but everyone's afraid of something. So we decided to make a list of scary things.

Daiyousei

We had ghosts, spooky scarecrows... oh, and rocks in the forest that look like skulls.

Mamikura

Why are you talking about scary stuff in the middle of the day? Wouldn't it be more fun to do it at night?

Daiyousei

I guess...

Cirno

But after the rakugo show, we just couldn't wait.

Lily White

We figured after we talked, we'd go look for some of the scariest stuff.

Inari

I see! You must've been in the theater when I told the scary manju story.

Inari

I'm kind of flattered you liked it so much.

So Clownpiece said she was afraid of anpan, huh?

...But how did that lead to an argument?

Clownpiece

Well, the conversation was getting kinda boring.

Clownpiece

So we agreed to take things up a notch and talk about REALLY scary things.

Daiyousei

But then Cirno said...

Cirno

I'm not afraid of anything!

Clownpiece

...So I decided to tell her about something scary that happened to me recently.

Inari

And you chose a story about anpan, huh?

Mamikura

OK, we get it now...

Mamikura

But what's scary about anpan?

Cirno

That's what I wanna know!

Clownpiece

Follow me, and you'll see.

(I got a bad feeling about this.)

Is it really that scary?

Clownpiece

Even you're doubting me, huh?!

Mamikura

Calm down. We'll come take a look at this anpan.

Mamikura

If it actually is scary, it might make for a good rakugo story. And if it looks delicious, we can buy some.

Inari

G-Good thinking. OK, let's go.

Inari

And I'll try and think of a joke to tell about it!

Mamikura

Hoh hoh hoh, that's the spirit... Inari Yakumotei!

Inari

It's actually a little embarrassing being called that outside of the theater...

Clownpiece

Th-This is it.

(I think this is a Nemunoki stall.)

Miss Nemuno runs this place, right?

Inari

What kind of anpan does a yamanba make?

Mamikura

Maybe the way she serves it is scary. But this doesn't seem like that kinda place.

Nemuno

Hello there, PLAYER. And if it ain't Masters Rokkaya and Yakumotei. Welcome.

Nemuno

What can I do ya for?

Um, do you sell anpan here?

We could really go for some.

Nemuno

Oh, yeah?

Nemuno

So you've already heard 'bout my brand new steamed anpan, heh?

Everyone

Steamed anpan?!

Nemuno

I needed somethin' light to serve 'ere at my food stall.

Nemuno

Then it hit me! Why don't I stuff some red bean paste into steamed bread?

That explains the name.

It sounds unique... and delicious!

Nemuno

Right? I thought about using "so" cheese, but I figured the texture of red bean paste would work better.

Inari

Both sound pretty good to me.

Inari

(But nothing about her anpan sounds scary. Maybe we need to try some.)

Nemuno

I'd love for you to give me anpan a taste.

Nemuno

But...

Nemuno

As you can see, I got customers to serve.

Nemuno

I'd love to treat you special, but that wouldn't be fair to the others. Back of the line's over there.

Nemuno

Don't worry, I made more than enough to go around.

Mamikura

Great, then we'll wait with everyone else. I can't wait to try some steamed anpan.

Nemuno

I'll do all I can to make sure it lives up to your expectations.

This line's huge.

And there are loads of people behind us.

Mamikura

I guess this anpan is just that popular.

Inari

(Maybe this line is the scary part...)

Mamikura

(Maybe it's so delicious it drives people nuts...)

Inari

Hey, has anyone seen the fairies?

Mamikura

I thought they were following PLAYER.

Cirno

What's scary about this?!

Clownpiece

It's about to get scary now!

There they are...

They're even further back than us.

Inari

So they're waiting just like us. Only...

Mamikura

They're not exactly behaving themselves.

Cirno

At least tell us WHAT'S gonna be scary!

Clownpiece

If I told you now, you wouldn't get scared!

Clownpiece & Cirno

That's it! Get ready for a battle!

Lily White

Stop! You're disturbing everyone around us!

Mamikura

This isn't good. Inari, PLAYER, let's go.

Inari

You got it!

Coming!

Wait... Do you hear something?

Nemuno

HEY, YOU TWO!

Nemuno

Quit annoying my customers!

W-We better hurry!

Inari & Mamikura

Y-You said it!

Clownpiece & Cirno

W-We're sorry.

Nemuno

Why were you two fighting like that anyway?

Clownpiece

Well, uhh...

Cirno

Clownpiece said anpan's scary, then I said there's no way anpan's scary...

Clownpiece

Sh-Shut up, already!

Nemuno

Scary anpan?

Clownpiece & Cirno

Eep!

Nemuno

Right, I get it.

Clownpiece

You do?

Nemuno

You watched some rakugo, didn't you? That's why you're doing this.

Clownpiece & Cirno

Umm...

Nemuno

You thought anpan was scary because of the scary manju story. Which means you must like my steamed anpan!

Clownpiece & Cirno

*super surprised gasp*

Th-That's right!

They asked us to come try it because it's so yummy!

Daiyousei

(Nice save, Miss PLAYER!)

(Thanks!)

Nemuno

All right, you guys made it to the front. Here's your anpan.

Fairies

Wow!

Inari

It looks delicious... but not at all scary.

Mamizou

We ended up losing our place in line. We better head to the back.

Nemuno

Wait!

Nemuno

I saw you guys ahead of the fairies.

Nemuno

And you helped me get them under control. Think of these anpan as a small token of me appreciation.

Thanks, Miss Nemuno!

Mamizou

Hoh hoh, I'd heard you were kind, but this is amazing. Thanks.

Inari

Let's take them back and eat them with some strong tea.

Sweet steamed anpan and strong tea!

Sounds like a match made in Heaven!

Nemuno

Right, you two. Thanks to the story tellers here, I'm giving you a pass...

Nemuno

But never again! Got it?!

Clownpiece & Cirno

G-Got it!

Cirno

Turns out anpan is pretty scary... The lady selling it is, at least.

Mamizou

She got a joke in before you did.

Inari

Oh no!

Inari

Hold up. Does this mean Clownpiece got into trouble the last time she tried to buy anpan, too?

Mamizou

Hoh hoh hoh, I guess she never learns!

Mamikura

So, which stall should we go to next?

Inari

Well, we just got some bread... Why don't we find some Japanese food next?

Mamikura

All right. Something filling would be nice.

There's so much to choose from here.

But Master Inari's right. Japanese food sounds great.

Mamikura

Well, that narrows it down a bit.

Mamikura

Udon and soba noodles are the obvious choices.

Inari

Oh yeah, you said you wanted to eat soba noodles today.

Inari

I'd love a bowl of udon with some deep-fried tofu, though.

Mamikura

Yeah, but the noodles might go soggy on our way back to the theater.

Inari

You're right!

Mamikura

C'mon, Yakumotei, that was the perfect opportunity for a witty comeback.

Inari

S-Sorry. I'll try harder next time...

We haven't got that much time. Let's buy something.

Who's that over there?

Mokou

Hi, PLAYER. Oh, and it's the rakugo masters. You three splurging on some lunch?

Inari

I suppose...

Inari

But that makes it sound like a bad thing.

Mokou

My bad. I didn't mean it that way. I just meant you're going around sampling different stalls.

Mamikura

That's exactly what we're doing! C'mon, Inari, cheer up.

Mamikura

A good story teller always has a comeback when someone pokes fun at them.

What are you guys doing, by the way?

How come you're standing in between your stalls?

Mokou

Well, actually...

Seiran & Ringo

She was grilling some of MY dango!

Inari & Mamikura

...Huh?

What do you mean, Seiran?

Are you selling grilled dango now, Ringo?

Mokou

I promised them both I'd help out with their stalls...

Mokou

But it turns out they need me on the same day!

No kidding...

Mokou

I got them to move their stalls so I could keep an eye on both their grills at the same time.

Seiran

I figured with Mokou's help I could sell lots of dango, but with Ringo's stall right beside mine, it's been the exact opposite!

Ringo

Must be because my dango are better than yours. I'd still rather have my own spot, though.

Seiran & Ringo

You wanna battle?!

Inari

H-How's a battle going to help either of them...?

Mamikura

Maybe their sales are so bad that doesn't matter anymore.

Mokou

Actually, they're both doing fine.

Mokou

In fact, they're the top two dango stalls out here.

Inari & Mamikura

No way!

So why are they arguing like that?

(Not that them arguing is out of the ordinary...)

Mokou

If you ask me, I'd say pride.

Mokou

They both make delicious dango and do their best each day for their customers.

Mokou

But neither of them can stand to lose to the other, so they end up fighting.

Mamikura

I don't doubt that, but aren't you the reason their stalls are so close?

Mokou

You got me there!

Let's just try and calm them down.

All that shouting will drive the customers away.

Mamikura

You're right about that...

Mamikura

All right, we'll handle this!

Inari

You said it!

Thanks, you guys!

Mamikura

Hey, you two. Whatcha doing arguing like that? Can't you see all the trouble you're causing?

Seiran

Yeah, but Master Rokkaya―

Ringo

I can't back down now!

Mamikura

(They're finishing each other's sentences...)

Mamikura

Look, you can't keep this up forever. I have an idea.

Mamikura

You let people try both of your dango, and see whose they eat more of. Whaddya think?

Ringo

G-Great idea!

Seiran

So long as one of us is crowned the winner!

Inari

We'll need judges. But we can't have too many. They still need some dango left over to sell.

Two is plenty, no?

And there are two rakugo masters...

Seiran

They have a show later. We can't ask them to stuff themselves now.

Ringo

And we need Mokou to work the grill. We can't have her in a dango-coma.

Mokou

I know you both wanna win, but how much do you plan on making the judges eat?

Ringo

Th-There's no point competing if we don't go all out.

Seiran

If none of you three can be judges...

Ringo

Then there's only one person left.

*gulp*

I, uhh... better be going I think.

Seiran

C'mon, we're letting you eat our dango for free.

Ringo

Please, PLAYER!

Well...

Seiran & Ringo

Open wide!

I-I'm stuffed...

Thanks for the tea part way through.

Seiran & Ringo

You're welcome!

Seiran & Ringo

(I don't remember giving her tea...?)

Seiran & Ringo

So, who won?

Mamikura

It's no good asking PLAYER.

Mamikura

It's not like she was counting how many dango she ate.

Seiran

Oh, right. I just figured it was quicker to ask her directly.

Ringo

Always one step behind, aren't ya, Seiran?

Seiran

You asked her too!

Seiran & Ringo

You wanna battle?!

Mamikura

Cut it out!

Mamikura

Just cool off, would you?

Seiran & Ringo

F-Fine...

Inari

Master! Come quick!

Mamikura

What now?

Mokou

I don't believe it...

Inari

It can't be...

Inari

We counted how many of each stall's dango PLAYER ate and...

Inari

It's a draw!

Seiran & Ringo

What?!

Mamikura

Well, that is a surprise...

Mokou

Gotta say, I never woulda predicted this!

Can you keep helping both stalls, please, Mokou?

Ringo, Seiran, try not to fight anymore, OK?

Mokou

You got it!

Seiran

Wh-What do we do, Miss Ringo?

Ringo

I dunno. What do you think we should do, Miss Seiran?

Mamikura

You're the ones who forced PLAYER to be the judge. You gotta respect the result.

Seiran & Ringo

O-OK!

Inari

Make sure you keep cooking up some delicious dango!

Mokou

I think I'm ready to get back to work!

Inari

Don't forget it was your mistake that led to all this, Mokou.

Mokou

You're right. I'll be more careful next time!

Inari

I hope so...

Mamikura

We could learn a thing or two from their dedication to dango.

Inari

You're right. After all, they were only fighting because of the pride they take in their work.

Mamikura

Those two are always fighting about something!

*inaudible groaning*

Mamikura

You OK, PLAYER?

Inari

Are you trying to tell us something?

Dango are... scary.

Mamikura

...

Mamikura

Hoh, hoh, hoh! Only when you eat that many of 'em!

Mamikura

Just make sure this doesn't escalate into full-blown dango-phobia!

Inari

I'm not sure you should be laughing about that...

Mamikura

Great job back there, PLAYER. Are you feeling any better?

Uh-huh. I'm not quite as full anymore.

I'll try and make room for lunch.

Inari

You don't have to force yourself to eat with us, you know?

Mamikura

Don't sweat it, Inari. PLAYER knows what she's doing.

Inari

I know that, Master. I just can't help but worry...

Thanks, Master Inari.

But Master Mamikura's right. I'll be fine.

Inari

I sure hope so...

Inari

There aren't many food stalls out this way, huh?

Is that Eika I see over there?

I wonder what she's doing here.

Inari

Hmm... Let's go check it out.

Hello, Eika!

Eika

Hi, PLAYER. And if it isn't the two rakugo masters!

Mamikura

You look like you're doing well.

Inari

What are you doing here?

Eika

Oh, right!

Eika

I'm running a bread stall today.

Are you working with Narumi and Miss Eiki?

Eika

Yep. We teamed up to make bread together!

Eika

But...

Inari

But what?

Eika

We aren't getting any customers!

Eika

It must be fate that brought you to me. Please, you gotta help us!

H-Hold up, Eika!

We only just got here!

Mamikura

Relax. Why don't you start by filling us in?

Eika

You're right. My bad.

Eika

So basically, since everyone's out for a light lunch, we decided to make some different kinds of bread.

Inari

Sounds like a decent idea to me.

Eika

That's what I thought! Anyway, we were trying to narrow down exactly what to make...

Eika

When Lady Eiki said we shouldn't use any raw toppings since we'd be selling everything outside.

Mamikura

That's a good point.

Eika

I know, right?! We all agreed to only use cooked toppings.

Mamikura

So what type of bread did you make?

Eika

Bread topped with mushrooms, bread stuffed with wild vegetables... Oh, and some with a soy sauce and sugar glaze.

Inari

Yum. How come none of it's selling?

Eika

Dunno. People take a look at the bread, but then they make a weird face and walk off.

Eika

They literally pick it up, then put it straight back down!

At least they're taking an interest in the bread!

(She was oddly specific about them picking it up.)

Inari

It all sounds delicious.

Inari

If they're picking it up, they're not being put off by how it looks or smells.

Maybe it feels weird...

And they just don't realize till they touch it?

Eika

Come see for yourself!

Eika

Lady Eiki! Narumi! Look who I found!

Eiki

Hello, you three. Have you come to help us with our predicament?

Mamikura

We weren't given much of a choice. But you never know what'll give you inspiration for the next great joke.

Narumi

Well, we're glad you're here.

Inari

Can you get us some bread? We need to take a look at it ourselves.

Narumi

S-Sure. Coming right up.

Eiki

Bring them our best stuff, would you, Narumi?

Narumi

You got it. We haven't sold any, so there's enough for each of them!

Mamikura

You haven't even sold one? But the lunch rush is already over.

Eiki

We know...

Narumi

Here you go! Our delectable anpan!

Inari & Mamikura

A-Anpan?!

Eiki

What's the matter?

Narumi

Have you already figured out what's going on?

Kinda...

But it's none of your fault.

Eika

How do you mean?

Mamikura

She's right...

Mamikura

You know about Nemuno's stall, right?

Eiki

Y-Yes. I heard she's selling some truly delicious food.

Mamikura

Well, her top-seller is...

Mamikura

Steamed anpan!

Eiki

S-Steamed anpan?!

Narumi & Eika

Whaaaaaaaat?!

Inari

Maybe people think you're trying to copy Nemuno.

Mamikura

I guess you coulda done more market research. Don't feel bad. This doesn't necessarily mean your anpan is worse than hers.

Eiki

I-I don't believe it...

Narumi

A-All of our hard work...

Eika

Was for n-nothing...!

Inari

Hang on. It's too soon to draw any conclusions.

Eiki

It is?!

Inari

If your anpan's the problem, why isn't any of the other bread selling?

Maybe there's more going on here.

You all made it together, so I'll bet the bread's yummy.

Eiki

Y-You don't have to bet. Go ahead and try some.

Narumi

Here you go, PLAYER.

Thanks.

Don't mind if I do.

Huh? It feels strange...

It's kinda... hard?

Inari

Are you serious?

Inari

Pass one here!

Inari

Yikes!

Mamikura

What is it, Inari?!

Inari

Mami― I-I mean, Master Mamikura... This bread...

Mamikura

Pull yourself together! What's wrong with the bread?!

Inari

...It's rock-solid!

Mamikura

Huh?

Inari

In fact... it's worse than that. It literally feels like I'm holding a rock.

Eiki

Phew!

Eiki

I can explain!

Eiki

I've been baking all the bread to be super hard on the outside so no germs get in.

Mamikura

Y-You've been doing what?!

Eiki

Don't worry, it's perfectly safe to eat!

Eiki

Go on, PLAYER, give it a try.

(I reaaaaally don't wanna eat this!)

(Wh-What do I do?!)

You

(Wait... Where am I?)

Eiki?

We're inside your mind.

You

(Come again!)

Eiki?

Right now, you're unsure what to do. Should you eat the bread? Or should you accept your fate?

You

(Aren't they the same thing?)

Eiki?

Trust me, it's delicious.

You

(I-It doesn't feel delicious...!)

Eiki?

Still not convinced? Maybe a battle of bullets will help!

You

(Help how?!)

Eiki?

I've changed outfits? Don't worry, I'm just a projection within your mind!

H-Here goes!

(Yep, it's solid as a rock...)

Huh... It's super fluffy inside!

I-I love it!

Inari

Y-You sure about that, PLAYER?!

It's hard on the outside...

But fluffy and delicious on the inside.

Eiki

Told you. I made sure to get the flavor just right, too!

Narumi

Oh, I forgot to mention! If you like, you can just break off the hard outer shell.

Eiki

Just like peeling a hard-boiled egg.

Inari

I-In that case...

Mamikura

Let's give this a try...

Masters

Mmm, so good!

Narumi & Eika

Yay!

Inari

People would buy dozens of these if they knew how to eat them properly.

Mamizou

We need to spread the word. This stuff's delicious.

Mamizou

Why don't you call it something like egg-shell anpan and show customers what to do with it. You'll sell loads that way.

Eiki

Great idea. I think we'll do just that.

Mamizou

Looks like that's the end of that!

Inari

Yep!

Inari

That anpan's scarily hard!

Eiki

Right...

Eiki

Thanks to Master Mamikura and Master Inari, our egg-shell anpan is a huge hit.

Eiki

It's even being considered as a new item for the stalls on the Road of Reconsideration.

Eiki

...What's that?

Eiki

What do we do with the uneaten bread shells? Throwing them away would surely get us into big trouble, you say?

Eiki

Good question.

Eiki

We collect them and then feed them to the Sanzu River fish. The bigger fish love that they're tough to chew through.

Eiki

Until the time comes to distinguish between good and evil...

Eiki

I bid you farewell.

Mamikura

I never thought buying lunch would take so long...

Inari

There was even more trouble than usual out there. I wish I'd changed into my regular clothes before we left.

Mamikura

It was actually pretty good advertising. These are our trademark outfits.

Inari

I just hope people will still come and see our shows.

Inari

Sorry for running you around like that, PLAYER.

It's no problem. Everything was super yummy!

But I was looking forward to eating it with tea.

Inari

There's still lots of food left. You can have some later, PLAYER.

Mamikura

Do you know where the tea leaves are?

Thanks, Master Inari!

And I sure do, Master Mamikura!

Mamikura

We better eat now. We have a show to prep for.

Inari

You're right. I'll brew some tea.

Mamikura

So what did you think of everything that happened?

Inari

Hm... The humans and youkai all have very different business strategies.

Inari

But that sometimes leads to clashes of opinion.

Mamikura

You're right. And it takes a while for bonds to mend after they've been damaged.

Mamikura

But that's all part of life. It's a story teller's job to find the humor in it all.

Inari

Here's your tea.

Inari

Doesn't that make story tellers kind of, I don't know... mean?

Mamikura

What makes you say that?

Inari

Well, we're poking fun at people and their everyday struggles.

Mamikura

...!

Mamikura

Hoh hoh hoh!

Inari

Why are you laughing?!

Mamikura

My bad, my bad.

Mamikura

I didn't know you cared so much about strangers' feelings.

Inari

I don't, but...

Mamikura

I guess I should've added that some things aren't to be joked about.

Mamikura

Take a seat, and let's talk a while. This will help with your training.

Inari

Sure.

Can I stay and listen, too?

Mamikura

I don't see why not. Things might get a little complicated, mind you.

Mamikura

It'd be great if humans and youkai could all work earnestly and do their best to lead good lives.

Mamikura

But doing so can be exhausting. Not to mention, the seasons and the weather also tend to interfere.

Mamikura

When things aren't going well, people need some fun and entertainment to cheer themselves up.

Mamikura

That's where the arts come in. And as story tellers, that includes us.

Mamikura

Some stories are scary, others are emotional, but we mainly tell stories designed to make people laugh.

Inari

You mean by including jokes?

Mamikura

That's right.

Mamikura

But making people laugh is surprisingly tricky...

It is?

How do you mean?

Mamikura

People tend to think their sense of humor is the same as everyone else's.

Inari

I mean, aside from some small differences...

Mamikura

Not you, too, Inari.

Mamikura

People's senses of humor appear the same when they have a shared base of knowledge.

Mamikura

For example, if you know that manju are just regular sweets, then when someone says they're scary, you'll say...

Mamikura

No they're not!

Mamikura

The humor lies in how literally you're taking the situation.

But isn't that a normal reaction?

How else would you even respond to that?

Mamikura

What would happen if you didn't know what manju were?

Inari

But I thought everyone knew what they were.

Mamikura

The world's a big place filled with all kinds of people. Perhaps some of them have never seen a manju before.

Mamikura

If you showed them one, they wouldn't know what it was. They might not even realize it's edible...

Mamikura

If you then pointed at it and told them it had terrifying power, they might believe you and run for their lives.

Inari

N-No way...

Mamikura

When you're talking to someone with a different base of knowledge, communication can be real tricky.

Mamikura

And their sense of humor will certainly be different to yours.

Mamikura

How couldn't it be?

Mamikura

Which is why you constantly have to make sure you and your audience are on the same page.

Inari

I-I see...

Mamikura

Rakugo shows start with a short story, right? If you don't live out in the world, where will you find material for it?

Inari

You're right.

Inari

Story tellers often tell stories from their own lives to open the show.

Mamikura

Indeed. But they can't just sit on stage recounting events as they occurred.

Mamikura

They have to exaggerate the details to make their audience laugh. That's where their skill as a story teller comes in.

Inari

I know exactly what you mean!

Mamikura

OK, I think it's about time we headed on stage.

Inari

I'm right behind you, Master!

???

Welcome to this cramped, dilapidated theater. I'd ask whether you're crazy or simply in possession of too much free time...

???

But by the time I asked all of you, you'd probably ask the same of me.

???

Whether tonight is your first rakugo show or your hundredth, thank you so much for your patronage.

???

I'm your story teller, Inari Yakumotei. I'm no veteran, so I ask for your forgiveness should I stumble on my words.

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