Lossy's Journal

Yukari

*sneaky crawl*

Umm, Miss Yukari...

Why are you crawling around on all fours?!

Yukari

Huh?!

Yukari

V-Very good, PLAYER. You managed to sneak up on me from behind.

(I didn't even mean to...)

(She looks embarrassed, though. Best to stay quiet.)

Yukari

Ahem. That's enough fooling around.

Yukari

Say, which do you prefer: phantom thieves or detectives?

Hmm, that's a toughie...

Yukari

Teehee, I feel the same. They're both so cool.

Yukari

This time, you'll be visiting a world chock-full of them.

Yukari

Playing phantom thieves versus detectives is all the rage there.

Whoa, that sounds super fun!

Yukari

There's something important I have to ask you before you leave, though.

Yukari

Do you know what matters most when you're playing pretend?

Umm... getting into character?

Is it... taking it seriously?

Yukari

Correct! Very impressive, PLAYER.

*blush*

Yukari

What makes playing pretend special is forgetting that it's play at all.

Yukari

If you were a real phantom thief, how would you outsmart a detective?

Yukari

And if you were a real detective, how would you solve a case?

Yukari

You can't hold back or let yourself get embarrassed. Tell yourself something's real, and it is.

Yukari

Basically, you've got to go all in!

Yukari

I had a whole speech prepared to convince you...

Yukari

But it seems like you don't need to hear it.

Yukari

So the only thing I'll say is...

Yukari

Have fun!

I will!

Yukari

Now, I have a top-secret mission to complete.

Yukari

*sneaky crawl*

(She knows I can still see her, right?)

(Crawling around like that looks kinda fun, though...)

*sneaky crawl*

In the L2.6 Universe...

*pant* *pant* I finally made it.

Nazrin

We've cornered you at last, vile phantom thief!

Shou

Hand over the stolen treasure!

Shou

You know, the uhh...

Shou

Wh-What was it again?

Nazrin

Honestly, Master... It was this.

Shou

Of course. I really do have a wonderful assistant.

Nazrin

You're just lucky I'm not as forgetful as you.

Shou

Listen well, phantom thief! Today's the day you return the Phantom Youkan.

Nazrin

Hand it over! That silky smooth dessert is only available for a limited time. It's worth its weight in gold!

Marisa

Pah! Foolish detectives. You really think I'd give up this treasure so easily? If you wanted it so bad...

Marisa

You should've guarded it better!

Nazrin

Even for a phantom thief, that was a low blow.

Shou

How were we supposed to know you'd steal it?!

Shou

You peeked your head through the window, said you only wanted one bite, then ran off with the whole plate!

Nazrin

Now that I think about it... you're not a phantom thief. You're just a petty criminal.

Nazrin

A super lame one!

Marisa

Takes one to know one!

Shou

Could you please come down from up there already? It's really hard to have a conversation like this.

Marisa

Fine. But gimme a sec...

Shou

Are you stuck up there?

Marisa

No!

I see where this is going...

Nazrin

Looks like we've got no choice but to settle this the old fashioned way: with a battle of bullets!

Marisa

Bring it on. Let's see who the lame one really is!

Shou

I won't lose! Not when my youkan's on the line!

???

...Hey.

Marisa

You mean MY youkan!

???

What are you lot doing?!

Marisa

Aww, I was just getting into character.

???

Sorry. I simply wanted to know what all the fuss was about.

???

Are you done playing detective already, Marisa?

Marisa

Far from it. A detective's gotta be ready for anything, right?

Marisa

So I figured I'd study up on phantom thieves... by pretending to be one.

Shou

You're free to join in if you like. After all, you're a supporter of justice like us.

???

Seems like you were going all out against each other...

Remilia

But being a detective sounds kinda fun.

Remilia

Umm...

Try to picture yourself as a detective!

Remilia

Sorry, PLAYER. I don't know what I'm doing.

Nazrin

You're all pushing her too hard.

Shou

We didn't mean to put you on the spot like this.

Remilia

It's fine. In fact, I'm grateful.

Remilia

I don't know what I would've done without you after I lost all my memories.

Marisa

...And this is where a real detective strikes a pose!

Remilia

D-Do I really have to pose? I fail to see what this has to do with solving crimes.

Shou

Teehee. It may seem that way, but trust us, it's essential! We have to intimidate the phantom thieves! Besides...

Shou

Detectives have to look cool!

Remilia

Do they, though...? Hmm, I suppose I should trust you.

Remilia

Still, this isn't easy. Being a detective here feels so unnatural.

Shou

Don't worry, you're doing great! Now, onto the next step...

Remilia

O-OK...

Hey, everyone, how about we take a break?

I brewed us some tea!

Shou

How thoughtful of you!

Marisa

Nice. Let's eat my youkan while we're at it.

Nazrin

OUR youkan...

Here's your cup, Remilia.

Remilia

Thanks for helping me out.

...You seem more like a detective already.

Remilia

You think? It must be because you're all such good teachers.

Remilia

You've done nothing but help me since I got here...

Remilia

You found me and took me in, even though I didn't have any memories.

Remilia

You made me feel at home at the detective agency, and now, you're teaching me to be one.

Remilia

I'll never be able to thank you enough. I'm truly glad I met you all.

Don't mention it. Helping people is what we do!

Remilia

Teehee, you're so sweet.

Nazrin

Hm? Sounds like someone's here to see us.

Nazrin

I wonder what it is this time. A lost item? A dispute that needs mediating? Or perhaps―

Nazrin

...Remilia, do you remember Detective Rule No. 17?

Remilia

Umm... "Phantom thieves are not to enter the agency unless under exceptional circumstances."

Nazrin

Correct. But that raises one important question...

Nazrin

What are you doing here, phantom thieves? Leave, now.

Chen

Hold up, we're not here to cause trouble!

Nazrin

Like we'd believe that. If you won't leave, we'll just have to make you!

Joon

Enough already! We don't have time for this!

Chen

Please, just hear us out! I swear we'll be good!

Nazrin

Fine. I suppose it's not every day phantom thieves come to detectives for help.

Remilia

I know I'm new here, but maybe there are some "exceptional circumstances" at play here.

Remilia

You know, like from the rule.

Joon

Exceptional circumstances, that's a good way to put it!

So... what's going on?

Chen

*sniff* *whimpering*

Shou

Please stop crying. We can't help you if we don't know what's going on.

Chen

*more whimpering* It's Orin and Mike...

Chen

They're gone!

Marisa, Shou & Narzin

Gone?!

Joon

And not just them. My crew are gone, too.

Joon

I'm their leader. They'd never run off without telling me!

Marisa

Not gonna lie, this is all kinda hard to believe. You're not making stuff up, are you?

Chen

Not a chance!

???

They're telling the truth.

Marisa

Alice, Patchouli... Don't see you here often.

Alice

Desperate times call for desperate measures. For now, I suggest you trust the phantom thieves' story.

Patchouli

There's trouble afoot.

Patchouli

Big trouble.

Marisa

So they're really missing?!

Alice

We had a hard time believing it at first, too. But from their testimony and our research, it seems to be true.

Shou

How many people are we talking about here?

Joon

We have all the facts. Let us explain.

Joon

There's Orin and Mike from Five Tails, and Yachie, Hecatia, and Yamame from my crew, Joon Phantom Thieves.

Chen

I haven't seen Nue or Seiran around lately, either.

Marisa

That's a lot of people!

Nazrin

So they're all missing... Any idea why?

Nazrin

Did you get into any arguments with them lately? People tend to run off when they're upset.

Chen

It wasn't like that!

Chen

I mean, I did eat some of the fancy cat food in secret...

Nazrin

Bad kitty.

Joon

If we knew why they went missing, we wouldn't be here.

Joon

For me, it was a day like any other. Then my crew just upped and vanished.

Joon

I'm their leader, and they didn't even tell me.

Shou

Sudden disappearances with no explanation as to why... I have a bad feeling about this.

Nazrin

Agreed. This is without a doubt―

A job for detectives!

Shou

Just one problem: we have a rule against accepting requests from phantom thieves...

Patchouli

Rules are meant to be broken. Come on, they clearly need help.

Shou

You're right. Even if we're rivals, at times like this, we need to work together.

Nazrin

I never thought phantom thieves would be our clients, but I suppose it's all right... just this once.

Chen

Yay! Thanks, detectives!

Joon

And just this once, we'll help you with your investigation.

Alice

Good idea. There's no point in competing against each other.

Remilia

Wow, you're willing to put your differences aside to solve the case.

Pretty amazing, right?!

Remilia

This might not be the best time to say it, but seeing you all now... there's no doubt you're real detectives.

Marisa

Hey, are you saying we weren't acting like real detectives before?

Remilia

Oh, uhh... no?

Marisa

All right then, enough talk. This case isn't gonna solve itself.

Marisa

Let the investigation begin!

Chen

We made it to the village, but where do we even start?

Joon

Yeah, how exactly are we supposed to investigate sudden disappearances?

Joon

As much as it pains me to admit it, we've got detectives with us. Let's follow their lead.

Chen

Good idea! So, Marisa, what do we do first?

Marisa

Duh, we investigate...

Marisa

By talking to anyone we find!

Chen

You mean you don't have any leads?

Marisa

Not yet, we don't. Cases like this all start with good old-fashioned legwork.

Remilia

But there are a ton of people to talk to in the village alone, no?

Marisa

Then we better get started!

Remilia

O-OK...

Joon

Why are we in the village, anyway? Couldn't we do "legwork" somewhere else?

Shou

I'll answer that one.

Joon

Good. Lemme hear some detective logic.

Shou

Just a hunch!

Joon

Oh.

Chen

We should've looked for other detectives.

Alice

Don't say that! We don't have a single eyewitness. What we need is intel, no matter how trivial it may seem.

Nazrin

All right, everyone, get to work!

Yay!

Villagers, here we come!

Chen

Excuse me! Have you seen any phantom thieves around here?

Keine

Phantom thieves? Can't say I have.

Alice

How about anything unusual? Really, any details would help.

Keine

Sorry, everything seems normal to me.

Chen

You're not lying, are you?

Keine

No! Why would you even think that?

Patchouli

...And that's the situation. Does anything come to mind, Kosuzu?

Kosuzu

So people are disappearing, huh?

Kosuzu

Sorry, I haven't seen any phantom thieves. The shop's been busy lately, so I've barely been outside.

Marisa

Really? You've got a solid collection of valuable books here.

Marisa

Are you sure no phantom thieves have snuck in among all the customers?

Kosuzu

No. And if they had, I'd have come to you for help. After all, you're detectives.

Akyuu

Kosuzu, do you have a minute?

Kosuzu

Ah, Akyuu! I found the book you wanted. I was just answering some questions for these strange detectives.

Marisa

Who are you calling strange?! Keep talking like that and I'll have to interrogate you.

Kosuzu

I told you I'm busy! Leave already!

Remilia

Is this how detectives do things?

Akyuu

Phantom thieves are going missing, you say?

Akyuu

*gasp*

Akyuu

Now that you mention it... Actually, maybe not.

What is it?

Akyuu

I heard something that might be connected. But it's just a rumor.

Nazrin

Fine by us! We need SOMETHING to go on!

Akyuu

I heard it from one of my servants.

Akyuu

Late at night, while walking along a mountain path, she saw two shadowy figures staggering into the woods and vanishing.

Akyuu

She couldn't tell who they were, but she said their outfits looked a lot like Chen's.

It could've been Orin and Mike!

Patchouli

That settles it. We're going to the Youkai Mountain.

I know we're here to investigate...

But this place is really spooky at night!

Remilia

Are you all right, PLAYER?

Remilia

We spent the whole day investigating. Hold my hand so you don't trip.

Thanks, Remilia.

Remilia

Don't let go, OK?

Remilia

I know it was your idea, but I didn't expect we'd all split up like this.

The mountain's huge.

Remilia

True. Sticking together isn't always the smart move. I can tell how experienced you are.

You'll catch up to me soon!

Remilia

I hope so. I want to become a real detective like you and the others.

It's all about imagination!

Remilia

It is?

Yep. Imagine yourself as a detective over and over.

Before you know it, you'll be one!

Remilia

I never thought of it that way... I'll give it a try sometime.

Remilia

...What's this?

Remilia

A can? What's it doing here?

That's no ordinary can. It's a can of fancy cat food!

And it's Orin and Mike's favorite brand!

Remilia

Are you sure?!

Something's moving in that bush over there.

It could be them!

Remilia

Hey, wait for me!

The shadow went this way, but now it's gone.

Oh no, I got caught up chasing after them...

And left Remilia behind.

I have to hurry back.

???

Good evening.

???

What are you doing in a place like this...

???

At this hour?

Eek!

Who are you? It's too dark to see.

Shadowy Figure

Wouldn't you like to know? I was hoping you'd tell me who you were.

Shadowy Figure

Didn't anyone teach you to introduce yourself before asking for names?

Sorry. I'm PLAYER.

Shadowy Figure

PLAYER... What an odd name.

What's yours?

Shadowy Figure

It's a secret.

No fair!

Shadowy Figure

I never said I'd tell you. Besides, you're a bad kid.

I am?

Shadowy Figure

You were sneaking around after me, weren't you?

Shadowy Figure

That's wrong, so wrong. Stalking an innocent, adorable girl like that.

I-I wasn't stalking you!

Remilia

PLAYER!

Remilia

Thank goodness you're safe.

Remilia! Sorry I ditched you like that.

Remilia

It's fine. I'm just glad you're OK.

Remilia

...Who's that beside you?

Shadowy Figure

Hey, don't say it like I'm some sorta creep.

Remilia

Well, whatever you are, PLAYER's my friend. She's coming with me.

Shadowy Figure

Do you have proof?

Remilia

Of what?

Shadowy Figure

If you have no proof she's your friend, I see no reason to let her go with you.

Shadowy Figure

She was following me. That must mean she likes me. Right? ...Right?!

Oh, uhh...

Shadowy Figure

If you won't answer, I'll answer for you. You're mine. Done. Decision's made.

Remilia

Is this some sort of joke?

Shadowy Figure

Oh, so scary. Getting all angry when things don't go your way.

Shadowy Figure

What's your plan? To resist? Don't you realize PLAYER could get hurt if you do that?

Remilia

Tch.

Shadowy Figure

You guys made two big mistakes since you arrived. First, you let go of each other's hands.

Shadowy Figure

And second...

Remilia

Th-There's someone behind us!

Shadowy Figure

You assumed I was the only other person here.

Stealth Attacker

What should we do with them?

Shadowy Figure

Good work, sister. That's a good question, though...

Shadowy Figure

I know! We'll take both of them home with us!

Stealth Attacker

If you're thinking of testing them, trust me, they'll be no different from the others.

Shadowy Figure

Maybe. But you never know.

Shadowy Figure

Some seeds might look ordinary, but they can turn into the most beautiful flowers.

Where are you taking us? Where's "home?"

Shadowy Figure

Teehee, who knows? Could be Heaven, could be Hell.

Shadowy Figure

It might all depend on you.

Alice

Remilia! PLAYER! Where are you?!

Patchouli

Why won't they answer us?

Alice

...Hm?

Alice

What's this?

*sleepy noises*

Remilia, that's my leg. The rice crackers are over there.

???

PLAYER! ...PLAYER!

Stop eating my leg...

???

What sorta dream is she having...? Wake up already!

Eek!

Urgh...

R-Remilia?

Remilia

Finally. You talk in your sleep, you know?

What was I saying?

Remilia

...

Remilia

Nothing. Besides, we have more important things to deal with right now.

Remilia

I think we've been kidnapped.

Remilia

Look around. I've never seen anything like it.

Is this...

The Palace of the Earth Spirits?

???

Good, you're up. I was a little worried 'cause they weren't exactly careful when they dragged you in here.

???

I was worried, too. Wait, no I wasn't. Caring about prisoners is unbecoming of a villain.

Remilia

Who goes there?!

??? & ???

Eek!

Minamitsu?

C-Careful with that massive spear! Someone's gonna get hurt!

Futo?

Wh-What she said! We were simply bid to come and collect thee!

You're not the Futo and Murasa that I know...

Put the spear down, Remilia. I wanna talk to them.

Futo?

My, my. The child is smarter than the adult.

Futo?

And thou even knowest our names. How very well informed thou art.

Futo

I am Mononobe no Futo, steward of the Mibube! I silence even crying children... in a good way!

Minamitsu?

And, uhh, I'm...

Minamitsu

Minamitsu Murasa!

Futo

Hey! What happened to the intro we rehearsed?! The sisters shall be mad with thee once more!

Minamitsu

Mad with you, more like! You started without giving me time to get ready!

Remilia

Well, at least we know your names now.

Remilia

Are you on our kidnappers' side?

Minamitsu

Technically, yes. But we have no intention of harming you.

Futo

Still, what were they planning to do with this child?

You mean you don't know?

Minamitsu

Haha, we're kinda low on the pecking order around here.

Futo

Alas, we've grown used to our lowly standing. But enough about that.

Futo & Minamitsu

Welcome...

Futo & Minamitsu

To Villain Castle!

Remilia

Villain...

Castle?!

Futo

Calm yourselves! Henceforth, ye are our pupils.

Futo

...I think. We are yet to receive official word.

Remilia

You're just making this up as you go along!

Futo

Nonsense! Almost all who set foot in our castle end up joining us!

Futo

Or so the data suggests.

Minamitsu

It's true. We were just like you once!

Remilia

...

Remilia

Psst, PLAYER. Don't do anything rash. We don't know if these two are friends or foes.

Remilia

Our best bet is to wait for an opening―

Remilia

Eek!

Remilia

H-Hey, put me down!

Remilia

PLAYER, why are you letting them carry you?! Put up a fight!

They don't seem like bad people to me.

Futo

Those are kind words, but thou art gravely mistaken.

Minamitsu

We're taking you to the training grounds!

Remilia

We never agreed to any of this. ...What is this place?!

Remilia

That room looks like the Scarlet Devil Mansion...

And the others look like Hakugyokurou and Eientei.

Remilia

Th-This doesn't make any sense.

Minamitsu

We're here!

Minamitsu

This is where we part ways, fellow villains.

Futo

Hone your phantom thieving skills well!

Remilia

What do you mean?

Minamitsu

Teehee.

Minamitsu

Just take a look around and you'll see.

Remilia

I-I don't get it...

Sakuya

Phantom Thief Rule No. 1!

Mike & Rin

Treasure is to be stolen...

Hecatia & Junko

In style!

Remilia

I seriously don't get it!

Sakuya

Phantom Thief Rule No. 1! Treasure is to be stolen...

Sakuya

In style!

Sakuya

Your turn!

Nue & Rin

Treasure is to be stolen in style!

Sakuya

I can't hear you!

Mike

Calling cards should be thrown with care...

Mike

But also, flair!

Mike

I should say something cool, too.

Mike

Come one, come all! Get a glimpse of me while you can!

Yachie

Come all? That sounds pretty bad to me.

Mike

You're right!

Reisen

Hey, cut the chatter. Yachie still hasn't finished all her reps.

Yachie

You mean you've been counting?

Reisen

Of course. I'm your instructor.

I-Is this what I think it is?

Remilia

There's no doubt about it. It's...

Remilia

A phantom thief academy!

Minamitsu

You cotton on fast, new recruits!

Futo

I'm starting to see why the sisters brought you here.

New recruits?

Wait, were we recruited to be phantom thieves?

Remilia

But we're detectives!

Futo

You are?! That's news to me...

Minamitsu

My guess is that the job didn't suit you.

N-No way...

Remilia

Don't listen to them, PLAYER. Look at them over there.

Nue & Rin

Phantom Thief Rule No. 1!

Nue & Rin

Treasure is to be stolen in style! Cat food is to be eaten in style!

Nue

What's cat food got to do with anything?

Sakuya

Are you messing around?

Rin

No, I'm just saying that cat food should be given the respect it deserves!

Seiran

Calling cards should be thrown with care and flair!

Ringo

And in a way that keeps bystanders away. They should be thrown...

Seiran & Ringo

Sneakily!

Reisen

I told you: the point of calling cards is that they're found. Being sneaky is counterproductive.

Mike

For real?!

Hecatia

Hey, Junko. I think your mask is on crooked.

Junko

How careless of me. This mask is part of my image.

Yamame

(Why are those two drinking tea instead of training?)

Everyone's doing whatever they want!

Remilia

True, but that's not my point.

Remilia

All of the missing people are here.

You're right!

Mike, Orin!

Remilia

They didn't hear you. Looks like we'll have to get closer.

Remilia

Let's blend in with everyone training. Follow my lead.

Mike

PLAYER? What are you doing here?!

Rin

Are you learning to be a phantom thief, too?

Remilia

No. We got a missing persons report... about you.

Mike

Why?

Remilia

Because you were missing!

You've gotta come back with us.

Mike

No!

Remilia

Why not?

Rin

I don't wanna leave, either.

Remilia

...We're listening.

Rin

We realized something.

Rin

Up until now...

Rin

None of us have REALLY been phantom thieves.

Remilia

(I could've told them that...)

Mike

We're gonna train here until we become top-class phantom thieves.

Mike

THEN we'll leave!

Rin

C'mon, it's training time! Phantom thieves foreveeeeer!

(This place is kinda fun.)

Remilia

*sigh* What's the plan, PLAYER? You heard them, they're not leaving.

Hm?! ...R-Right, not leaving.

We can't just go home without them, huh?

Remilia

No, I guess not...

Remilia

Luckily, this place doesn't seem especially dangerous.

Remilia

Let's keep an eye on things for a while.

Sounds good!

Remilia

Is it me, or are you excited to stay?

N-No! ...Maybe a little.

Remilia

For the record, we aren't joining them, understood?

Remilia

We're detectives, not phantom thieves―

Hey, we wanna train, too!

Remilia

I have a bad feeling about this.

Sakuya

...

Sakuya

Mistress... And PLAYER...

Y-Yes?

Remilia

*gulp*

Sakuya

You have massive potential!

Sakuya

Especially you, Mistress!

Remilia

Do you have to shout so loud?!

Everyone

Whoa...

Remilia

Why do I get the feeling everyone's on the same page but me?

???

Hey, what are you all gathered around for? Are you picking teams for something?

Sakuya

Close.

Remilia

Close to what?! ...And you are?

Reisen

Me?

Remilia

You're not the same Reisen as before.

Reisen

Correct.

Reisen

...Kind of.

Reisen

Scrap that. I AM a different Reisen.

Reisen

Let me guess, you two are phantom―

Remilia

Detectives. We're detectives.

Reisen

Pfft.

Reisen

Keep it cool, Reisen, keep it cool. Don't let them get to you!

Remilia

Now it's my turn to guess.

Remilia

Unlike Sakuya, you're NOT phantom thieves, right?

Remilia

Did I guess wrong?

Reisen

I was just a little surprised―

Reisen

Yeah, she guessed right, and you guessed wrong.

Reisen

*trembling with rage and sadness*

Calm down, Reisen! Deep breaths!

Reisen

I know, I know...

Reisen

Ahem, sorry. We're playing the role of detectives.

Reisen

Villain Castle is... Well, it's hard to explain.

Reisen

Basically, it's a training ground for roleplay.

Sakuya

The primary role taught here is that of the phantom thief.

Sakuya

Essentially, we were invited here to be everyone's instructors.

Sakuya

I'm the phantom thief instructor.

Reisen

And we're the detective instructors.

Reisen

We don't fit our roles perfectly, but the sisters said we were close enough.

Close enough?

Reisen

Yep. Futo and Murasa were supposed to be instructors, too...

Reisen

They supposedly arrived here with the sisters and one other person.

Reisen

They have potential. But it likely won't blossom here.

Sakuya

It's not necessarily their fault. This just isn't the right environment for them.

I see...

Remilia

Wait, you said they arrived with the sisters and one other person.

Oh, yeah. Who's the other person?

Sakuya

She's right over there.

Yamame

Hey, Seija! I still don't get how to tiptoe without making a sound!

Seiran & Ringo

Have you tried not talking?

???

Why're you telling me? Speak to an instructor!

Seija

I'm a student here, just like you!

Seija

Hey! Try and help her, you two. You look super "weak!"

Hecatia

"Dear detectives, Today's weather is quite favorable..."

Junko

Hold up. If you write "today," then the detectives will know when you wrote the calling card.

Hecatia

Oh, you're right. Thanks, Junko!

Seija

Huh... At least they're taking things seriously.

I don't recognize that Seija.

There sure are a lot of people here, though!

Seija

*sigh* Whatever... Instructor Sakuya! We need a little help!

Seija

Can you stop these two from chatting? I don't care how "constructive" their conversation is!

Sakuya

OK, OK. PLAYER, this is a good chance for you to get involved.

Sakuya

You can go up against the phantom thieves. Assuming you're still a detective.

I am, but...

(I was only supposed to be observing.)

Hecatia

Oh, is PLAYER going to be our opponent?

Junko

In that case, we won't hold back.

Remilia

You heard them. I told you we should just stick to the sidelines.

Remilia

Get ready to take them down!

Yamame & Nue

W-We lost...

Seiran

Phew. Trying to act like a phantom thief during a battle is tough.

Ringo

Yeah, I kept messing up my attack shouts.

Hecatia & Junko

...

Remilia

That was exhausting. Battles like that require a whole new level of strategy―

???

Hey there, everyone. You're doing well, pushing forward toward your destiny.

???

Even those of you who seemed hopeless can grow stronger, even if only a little.

???

Not you, though. PLAYER, was it? You have serious potential.

Kokoro

I suppose we should introduce ourselves.

Koishi

We were waiting for you to come and say hi.

Reisen

Hm? I thought Futo and Murasa were supposed to bring you here.

Koishi

That's news to me.

Reisen

I'll have to scold them both later.

Reisen

But first... Remilia, PLAYER, say hello to the rulers of Villain Castle.

Reisen

The sisters, Kokoro and Koishi.

(They're sisters?)

Kokoro

We're the rulers for now, at least.

Koishi

Nice to meet you.

A-And you?

Kokoro

Well, you two, do your best to become phantom thieves―

Remilia

Wait. We didn't come here to become phantom thieves.

Remilia

In fact, we didn't come here at all. We were kidnapped by you, remember?!

Koishi

Of course we remember. Are you calling us forgetful?

Remilia

No, my point is that we don't want to be phantom thieves.

Remilia

Let's cut right to the chase. Why are you doing all this crazy stuff?

Remilia

First, you kidnapped us, then you locked us up, and now you're telling us to train.

Koishi

...

Koishi

You think we're crazy?

Remilia

You bet I do. What do you stand to gain from this?

Kokoro

A lot.

Kokoro

The roleplay in this world is so dull.

Remilia

You mean it's not very convincing?

Kokoro

Do you disagree? The phantom thieves don't know what to steal, how to steal it, or how to act after they've stolen it.

Kokoro

The detectives have no poise, no deductive reasoning―they just run around town and call it roleplay.

Koishi

We didn't mean to, but we ended up in this world.

Kokoro

Maybe one of you called us here―

Kokoro

―hoping to get better at roleplay.

Koishi

We've been watching this world in secret.

Koishi

But we couldn't contain our disappointment any longer. The phantom thieves and detectives here...

Koishi

They give roleplay a bad name.

Kokoro

So we decided to train them up―

Remilia

By bringing them here?

Remilia

Pathetic.

Kokoro

It's NOT pathetic.

Kokoro

Call us that if you want, but we value dedication above all else.

Remilia

...

Remilia

Sorry, I got a little carried away.

Remilia

I belittled your passion for roleplay. Forgive me.

Kokoro

Teehee, so long as you understand, you're forgiven.

Remilia

But that doesn't change the fact you kidnapped us. Let us go.

Koishi

Why would we do that? You both made terrible detectives.

Koishi

So you're going to learn how to be phantom thieves here, instead!

Remilia

What?!

Remilia

No way! We're detectives!

Koishi

Now who's being forgetful?

Koishi

Remember what we said before we brought you here?

Shadowy Figure

What's your plan? To resist? Don't you realize PLAYER could get hurt if you do that?

Remilia

Y-You wouldn't!

Kokoro

Maybe. But based on how enthusiastic PLAYER is, I'm guessing we won't have to.

Kokoro

We came here to scare you into cooperating, but in her case, it looks like we needn't have bothered.

Remilia

Is that true, PLAYER?

Umm...

Learning to be a phantom thief sounds kinda fun.

Kokoro

Heh heh, I knew things would play out this way. It's fate―

Remilia

Leave fate out of this!

Kokoro

...

Kokoro

*sniff*

Kokoro

Something urgent just came up. Bye for now.

Remilia...

Everyone

*stare*

Remilia

H-How am I the bad guy here?

A few days later...

Sakuya

OK, everyone, today we'll learn how to write calling cards.

Sakuya

Now, you should have all written one as homework. Does anyone want to read theirs out?

Everyone

...

Sakuya

No volunteers, huh? In that case...

Sakuya

Seiran! Read us your calling card.

Seiran

O-OK! Umm...

Seiran

"Hello, it's me, Seiran the phantom thief. I'm writing to you because I want to steal the painting you have stored in―"

Sakuya

Seiran

What?! Aren't teachers supposed to be nice?!

Sakuya

Ahem. My apologies.

Sakuya

First, there's no need to be so polite. You're a phantom thief, not a phantom maid.

Sakuya

And NEVER tell them your real name! You have a codename, don't you?

Ringo

(Uh oh... I better erase my name, quick.)

Sakuya

You there, leader of Seiran's crew. You're next.

Junko

Sure thing. Mine's pretty simple.

Junko

"I'm gonna steal from you!"

Sakuya

It lacks a bit of nuance... but it's better than the last one.

Reisen

I'd be pretty scared if I got a calling card like that.

Yamame

*takes notes*

Sakuya

Simplicity is good, but be sure to tell the recipient when you'll be stealing from them.

Sakuya

Plus, you're a crew. You need to decide on a tone and stick to it.

Sakuya

A bit of variation from thief to thief can add flair, but it's hard to pull off.

Sakuya

Next up―

Me! Pick me!

Sakuya

Very well! Let's see here...

Reisen

"Three days from now, at midnight, I will come to claim the secret treasure."

Sakuya

Hmm... Solid structure, you've included a time and your target, and there's absolutely no fluff.

Heh heh, I asked Seija for advice before I wrote it.

Sakuya

If I were to make one suggestion... You didn't say exactly what you planned to steal.

Sakuya

"Secret treasure" is too vague. What if the recipient owns more than one precious item?

That could be really confusing...!

Sakuya

Keep that in mind next time. Now...

Sakuya

It's time for your reward.

What's this?

Sakuya

It's a Villain Badge. They're given to outstanding students.

Ringo

Wow, wayyda go. Only Seija's gotten one so far I think.

For real?!

Yachie

Yep, and we resent her for it.

Reisen

Wasn't it you lot who marched straight into the target's home last time we did stealing practice?

Yachie

Pfft, that plan was flawless.

Rin

I felt more like a violent thug than a phantom thief.

Remilia

...

What's up, Remilia?

Have you got a tummyache?

Remilia

You...

Me?

Remilia

You're fitting in too well!

Koishi

I came to check on you, but... what's going on here?

Koishi

Wanna interrupt our training sessions? Your best bet is to sit them out.

Koishi

'Cause if you reject our way of doing things like that, we'll just leave everyone to fend for themselves.

Koishi!

You saved me!

Koishi

Heh heh, only by accident. Don't make things weird.

Koishi

You've been here a few days now. What do you think?

Umm, it's hard to say it with Remilia here...

Remilia

(I have a feeling she's going to anyway.)

But it's all so new to me.

And so much fun!

Koishi

...

Koishi

You don't say!

Koishi

Get out here, Kokoro!

Kokoro

When Koishi calls me, I like to call her back.

Kokoro

Koishiii!

Koishi

Please stop doing that. You'll ruin the vibes.

Koishi

Anyway, since a second person just earned a Villain Badge...

Koishi

What do you say...

Koishi

We hold a Villain Tea Party?!

Kokoro

You've really gotten good at pouring tea, Murasa.

Minamitsu

You bet! I've poured it, like, a thousand times lately!

Futo

I practically drowned in tea the first time. A cold chill ran down my spine.

Futo

The tea was boiling hot, though!

Seija

Futo's terrible puns aside, that was the "best."

Koishi

*sob* Seija, my cookie's gone.

Seija

Fine, you can have one of mine. Save the fake tears for when you're lying about something.

...

Kokoro

What's wrong, PLAYER? Didn't like your cookie? Futo baked them special...

It was super yummy! But...

This is my first Villain Tea Party. I'm a little nervous.

Koishi

Is the name a little intimidating?

Koishi

We only just came up with it!

Koishi

Holding one was kinda a spur-of-the-moment type thing, too!

Futo

'Tis ill-advised to force others to act upon thy whims, you know?

Koishi

But we didn't expect Villain Castle to fill up like this!

Koishi

And with PLAYER having so much potential, I felt like celebrating.

(Come to think of it...)

(Why IS everyone here?)

(I feel like Reisen said something important...)

Kokoro

Heh heh, want me to try and guess what you're thinking?

Kokoro

You're wondering how we taught Murasa to pour tea, right?

Seija

You're probably right. Definitely right, in fact.

Futo

Not a chance.

Futo

Methinks PLAYER doth wonder more about how we're all connected.

Uh-huh.

I only heard a little about it when I first arrived.

Koishi

Hmm...

Koishi

Should I tell you or keep it secret? Secrets are more fun...

Kokoro

You're basically saying it doesn't matter.

Koishi

All right, then!

Koishi

The reason we're here...

*gulp*

Yeah?

Koishi

Is a total mystery!

What?

Koishi

You heard me. This is all one big coincidence.

Koishi

We were playing in Villain Castle together...

Kokoro

When the ground started to glow.

Koishi

Next thing we knew, we were in this world. And so was the castle.

Koishi

We took a look around and found...

Futo

Me!

Minamitsu

Me!

Seija

And me! For some reason, we were all unconscious in the castle.

Kokoro

It was a total mess. So we ended up living together.

Futo

But these two proclaimed that in order to be given permanent quarters, we must become villains.

Koishi

Duh! This is VILLAIN Castle!

Kokoro

We care about roleplay more than anything in the world.

Kokoro

This is our house, so we made them follow our rules.

Kokoro

Seems fair, right?

Koishi

Futo and Murasa aren't exactly doing a great job...

Koishi

But given the situation, we decided to be patient with them.

Kokoro

At least Seija understands what it takes to be a real villain.

So why is she still a student here?

Seija

Pah, I'm not exactly instructor material.

Seija

Besides, these two...

Koishi

The phantom thieves in this world don't understand true villainy.

Kokoro

They look the part... but that just makes it more disappointing.

Seija

They said that, and before we knew it, Villain Castle was packed. Things have really gone off the rails.

So what about the Reisens and Sakuya?

Koishi

We wished for people who understood villainy and a stone on the castle railing flashed.

Kokoro

Call it fate if you like, but we summoned them accidentally.

I see...

Seija

After that, we dragged this world's phantom thieves here so they could train.

Seija

That's why Kokoro got so mad at Remilia before.

Seija

Roleplay is just that―play. But...

Seija

For those who are dedicated, sloppy roleplay is hard to watch.

Seija

So we're gonna keep everyone here until they've proven themselves as real phantom thieves.

Seija

I'm sure this is all a bit of a hassle for you.

I didn't really get it at first...

But all the training is so fun!

Koishi

Heh, that's the spirit. You deserve another cookie―

Koishi

What's this racket?! Futo, Murasa!

Futo

'Tis the intruder alarm!

Koishi

Tch. Don't they know we're in the middle of a tea party?

Kokoro

We need to teach them a lesson.

Kokoro

C'mon, PLAYER.

Kokoro

Let's do this together.

Marisa

Hey, stop with the cheery greetings!

Kokoro

I know these guys...

Remilia

PLAYER! Are you all right?! The siren started blaring and... It's you.

Marisa

Remilia! PLAYER!

Remilia

Have you come to rescue us?!

Marisa

What are you two doing here?!

Remilia

...

Remilia

So you're NOT here to rescue us?

Marisa

It all started a few days ago...

Shou

While we were busy looking for the phantom thieves...

Shou

Miss PLAYER and Remilia went missing, too.

Joon

Maybe they just went home.

Three Witch Detectives

...

Joon

Guess not, huh?

Marisa

That's brilliant!

Alice

We can't rule out that possibility.

Patchouli

They might've gotten tired from the investigation.

Patchouli

I know I did.

Shou

Putting your tiredness aside... They're detectives, albeit amateur ones. They must still be out there investigating.

Shou

What is it, Nazrin? Did you find something?

Nazrin

Yeah. This badge.

Alice

Huh, it's got a nice design. A bit edgy, but still.

Alice

Why would something like this be lying around in the forest?

Joon

Someone probably dropped it, no?

Shou

Whoever it was, they did well to make it this deep into the Forest of Magic.

Nazrin

Yeah, they've gotta be pretty powerful. You don't think they're connected to all the disappearances... do you?

Shou

Hm...

Everyone

No way!

Nazrin

Thought not!

Patchouli

Safe to say this has nothing to do with PLAYER and Remilia OR the disappearing phantom thieves.

Alice

Yes, but it's still quite the coincidence.

Shou

A scary one, at that. Especially since I get the feeling...

Shou

Everyone we're looking for is in there.

Marisa

Can't believe I never noticed a castle this big before.

Patchouli

But I thought you lived close by?

Alice

The Forest of Magic's probably a lot bigger than you think.

Joon

Yeah, but this castle is massive... Whatever, at least we have a place to look now!

Nazrin

Have you scouted it out?

Shou

Does it look like we had time for that?

Nazrin

Right. You only just stumbled upon it, huh?

Marisa

This place is definitely worth investigating, though.

Marisa

It looks super shady!

Marisa

And that's how we got here. Any questions?

Y-Your investigation...

Was super sloppy!

Remilia

I felt dizzy just listening to it.

Minamitsu

Miss Kokoro and Miss Koishi have been stunned into silence.

Futo

I've never seen them like this before!

Seija

I have. They get like this when they're watching you pretending to be villains.

Seija

Uh-oh, now these two have frozen, too.

Marisa

Who cares?!

Marisa

We found the missing people, didn't we?

Shou

Exactly. Results are what matter. In this case, that means we did a super good job!

Nazrin

I spaced out for a minute there, but basically, these are the bad guys, right?

Nazrin

All we have to do is take 'em down―

Koishi

...your dreams.

Patchouli

What?

Koishi

I said in your dreams!

Kokoro

On your knees, detectives.

Kokoro

We sisters...

Kokoro & Koishi

Are gonna teach you a lesson!

Marisa

...

Marisa

Hey, why are we all kneeling down in the bad guys' hideout?

Nazrin

Beats me. But I don't like it.

Joon

I understand you guys, but we're phantom thieves...

Chen

Urgh, I just wanna celebrate finding Mike and Orin.

Mike

You'll have to wait. Now shh...

Minamitsu

Hey! No talking!

Shou

I don't like taking orders. Especially not from Murasa.

Kokoro & Koishi

...

Kokoro & Koishi

*glare*

You know your scary faces are cute, right?

Kokoro & Koishi

What?!

Kokoro

Ahem. Now that we've shown you what kind of villains we are, we can tell you...

Kokoro & Koishi

You're doing a terrible job!

Marisa

With the kneeling?

Kokoro

With the roleplay, you half-wit!

Koishi

Not one of you gives it the respect it deserves.

Koishi

Not one of you!

Kokoro

We were so focused on the phantom thieves that we didn't realize how bad you detectives were.

Kokoro

With you for rivals, it's no wonder the thieves were so shoddy.

Alice

Hmph. You seem to be forgetting we discovered your hideout.

Kokoro

Yeah, through dumb luck.

Kokoro

You didn't plan, you didn't strategize. You just ran around like headless chickens.

Kokoro

And you call yourselves detectives?

Kokoro

Don't make me laugh.

Kokoro

Actually, please do. A little laughter would be better than the pits of despair you've plunged me into.

Koishi

Same goes for the phantom thieves. After all that training, only Seija and PLAYER earned villain badges.

Koishi

We even hired instructors. Three of them!

Koishi

But you were all just coasting by, doing the bare minimum.

Koishi

That's why you'll never be true villains.

Phantom Thieves

...

Yamame

Can't argue with that.

Patchouli

You read my mind.

Patchouli

But what about you two?

Patchouli

What makes you the real deal?

(The detectives and phantom thieves are mad.)

(And so are Kokoro and Koishi.)

Kokoro

You really wanna find out?

Koishi

We know just the thing to prove our villainy.

Koishi

What it lacks in roleplay, it makes up for in explosivity.

Kokoro & Koishi

It's called a battle of bullets!

Chen & Mike

Owwy...

Yachie

I figured it would end like this, but it still stings...

Detectives

...

Koishi

Your lack of dedication to roleplay shows in your bullets.

Koishi

We've been true to our sense of villainy.

Koishi

We're selfish, shameless, and above all...

Koishi

We do what we want, when we want. And we NEVER break character.

Koishi

That's what makes roleplay fun, right?

(She might be right...)

Well, I'm convinced.

Shou

I see. No wonder we lost.

Shou

How can we expect to win battles if we can't even roleplay properly?

Nazrin

It's no good making excuses now, Master.

Shou

I know.

Shou

We weren't doing enough to be true detectives.

Alice

To think that villains would be the ones to show us that...

Koishi

Isn't that what being rivals is all about? We might be bad guys, but we're not BAD guys, you know?

Koishi

The good news for you is that it's not too late.

Marisa

For what?

Koishi

This is a big castle...

Koishi

I'd say we have room for a few more students.

Marisa

Huh?!

Koishi

Why so shocked? Anyone who wants to take roleplay seriously is welcome here.

Koishi

Phantom thief or detective, doesn't matter to us.

Patchouli

But you're villains. Why would you wanna train up the heroes?

Kokoro

Pfft, never heard of an antihero?

Kokoro

Besides, stories from all around the world tell of wicked people who fight for the side of justice.

Kokoro

Hey, Reisens!

Reisen

Yes?

Reisen

Finally. I was wondering when you'd call for us.

Kokoro

They were originally here to go up against the phantom thieves, but we have detective instructors ready for you.

Reisen

Calling us detectives is a bit much...

Reisen

All we ever do is chase after the thieves.

Reisen

Still, we can teach this lot what it means to fight.

Kokoro

We summoned them here, so there might be some bias.

Koishi

But their skills are beyond question. So, if you want...

Koishi

They can make you into real detectives.

Koishi

Like I said, all are welcome in Villain Castle.

Koishi

So long as you're serious about roleplay.

Marisa

Gotta say you make a pretty convincing pitch.

Marisa

You're right that it was dumb luck that got us this far.

Marisa

Guess we've got no choice but to learn all we can... and come out on top in the end!

Kokoro

That's the spirit.

Kokoro

Then it's settled.

Kokoro

The Villain Castle Detective Training Camp is on!

Kokoro

No backing out now.

Remilia

...

What's up?

Remilia

Just thinking... things have gotten weird.

Remilia

But you know what?

Remilia

I'm sure it'll work itself out.

You're just tired of pointing the craziness out.

Remilia

You'll make a fine detective.

Remilia

But some things are better left unsaid.

A few days later...

Reisen

All right, today we'll review how to track down a culprit.

Reisen

Let's say they're on the run. Nazrin, what's the first move?

Nazrin

Well... it's NOT to start searching randomly.

Shou

Instead, we should predict where they might go... right?

Reisen

Exactly. You have to put yourself in the culprit's shoes.

Reisen

What's their end goal? And what steps would they take to reach it?

Reisen

If you still can't figure it out, asking someone is also an option.

Remilia

But you can't take what they say at face value. You have to question the validity of their answer.

Reisen

Thanks for adding that.

Remilia

No problem.

You're really in your element with detective training.

Remilia

It kind of suits me. Hunting is in my nature.

Remilia

I heard you've been showing up to phantom thief training again.

Remilia

People are starting to wonder which side you'll choose.

Remilia

You know, since it seems like you excel at both.

Haha...

It's not my fault both classes are fun.

Remilia

I suppose no one can blame you for being good at two things at once.

Reisen

Cut the chit-chat!

Reisen

Good grades aren't enough. You need to have the right attitude, too.

S-Sorry!

Reisen

That's more like it. Now, let's put all this theory into practice.

Reisen

Here we have a tea party set.

Reisen

I was going to serve it to all you detectives after class.

Patchouli

Looks fancy. But... something's not right.

Reisen

Good eye. There are some items missing. In fact, they aren't missing...

Reisen

They've been stolen.

Alice

Looks like a saucer's gone, along with some of the sweets.

Nazrin

Based on the gaps on the tray, only one type's missing.

Marisa

I-I don't believe it... This is supposed to be OUR reward!

Marisa

Oops. Almost lost my cool there.

Patchouli

A detective always stays calm.

Shou

And analyzes the intel they have.

Reisen

Glad to hear you've all been paying attention.

Reisen

Your task is to track down the culprit.

Reisen

If you solve the case, everyone gets a Villain Badge.

Remilia

A practical test. Sounds fun.

Let's do this!

Nazrin

We're looking for a saucer and sweets. Nothing else.

Marisa

But who steals a saucer? They're just mini plates!

Shou

If they wanted to ruin our tea party, they should've stolen the teacups instead.

Remilia

Maybe their goal wasn't to spoil our fun after all.

Alice

But they DID take our sweets.

Patchouli

Yes, but look closely. There are crumbs around the plate.

Nazrin

That's not all. Are they... tufts of fur?

Marisa

So the culprit has fur. And they didn't take the sweets... they ate them. Maybe they couldn't help themselves.

Alice

So what, you think they took the saucer just for the heck of it?

Patchouli

No, they're not that reckless. Otherwise, they would've eaten all of the sweets. They only ate one type.

Nazrin

I got it!

Marisa

There must be―

Marisa & Nazrin

Two culprits!

Chen

*om nom*

Nue

You think it was us, huh?

Nue

Even if it was, it's not like we'd admit it!

Chen

*om nom* *swallow*

Chen

If you want the truth, you'll have to battle us!

Nue & Chen

Urgh...

Nazrin

We've deduced that this tea time crime was not one theft...

Nazrin

But two.

Shou

It all started with Chen.

Shou

She snuck into the kitchen and found the tea set.

Marisa

Then she spotted her favorite sweets: macarons.

Marisa

She's been doing well in phantom thief training lately. I'll bet they had a tea party of their own.

Marisa

And once she tasted those macarons, she couldn't put them out of her mind.

Marisa

She made sure she was alone in the kitchen... then gobbled them down. That was the first theft.

Nazrin

We found her fur on the tray. But even if we hadn't, she was still om-nomming when we found her.

Nue

She probably took the saucer, too. Why are you blaming me for that?

Patchouli

We have no solid proof. But we tried to put ourselves in the culprit's shoes.

Patchouli

When Chen likes something, she takes it all.

Patchouli

Just like how she ate ALL of the macarons.

Alice

Yet only one saucer was missing.

Alice

In all likelihood, the other culprit tried to frame Chen.

Nue

Right... But you said it yourself―you've got no proof.

Alice

No...

Remilia

But we have deductive reasoning.

Remilia

After considering all possibilities, we concluded that this was a spur-of-the-moment crime.

Remilia

After all, stealing a lone saucer is hardly the crime of the century.

Remilia

But committing it after sweets had already been stolen... The culprit is as much of a prankster as they are a criminal.

Nue

So... you're just guessing.

Remilia

With no hard evidence or leads, what else can we do?

Remilia

We guessed right though, didn't we?

???

Excellent work, Mistress.

Remilia

That sounds like Sakuya. Which means...

Sakuya

Yes, this test is over.

Chen

Aww, the phantom thieves lost.

Why did Chen and Nue do this, though?

Sakuya

The phantom thieves had a practical test today, too. Their task was to steal something without being caught.

Nue

Chen and I were chosen this time. At first, we thought we'd work independently...

Nue

But teaming up seemed way more fun.

Sakuya

Your plan was solid. But in the end, stealing just one saucer gave you away.

Sakuya

That said, I'm proud of how well you did.

Nue

Heh heh, no way I'm letting Seija hog the spotlight.

Seija

What was that?

Nue

Eep! You were listening?!

Seija

"Nope." Seems like the phantom thieves AND the detectives are improving.

Seija

Guess I can't afford to rest on my laurels.

Marisa

Heh! Even the toughest cases are no match for us!

Nue

You just wait! We'll steal way more stuff next time!

Koishi

They're still not up to our standards... but they're on the right track.

Kokoro

Of course they are. They've been training nonstop. This is all part of their destiny.

Futo

When they first arrived, I did not have high hopes. Mayhaps I was mistaken.

Minamitsu

You can really tell how hard they're working.

Kokoro

Wait, why are you two having tea with us?

Futo

Well, we're neither detectives nor phantom thieves.

Minamitsu

Tell you the truth, we haven't had much to do lately.

Koishi

In that case, we'll give you two a new job.

Futo & Minamitsu

What kind of job?

Koishi

With both sides doing so well, the next step is obvious, right?

Futo & Minamitsu

...

Futo & Minamitsu

It is?

Koishi

It's like talking to a brick wall.

Koishi

I'm talking about a showdown.

Koishi

Detectives vs. phantom thieves!

Futo

Hear ye, hear ye! Well done with all your training!

It's Futo and Murasa!

Minamitsu

Sorry to interrupt your tea party. I brought more macarons.

Chen

Yippee!

Minamitsu

Let me see here... Nope. There aren't any with your name on them, Chen.

Chen

Boo!

Kokoro

Don't be mean, Murasa. Chen ate those macarons as part of an assignment.

Koishi

Don't worry, Chen, there are PLENTY with your name on them. Just remember to say thank you.

Chen

Thank youuu!

Koishi

Now that we've spoiled the kitty...

Koishi

We have a big announcement!

Detectives

Big?!

Phantom Thieves

Announcement?!

Kokoro

You've all been taking class seriously lately, learning how to be real detectives and phantom thieves.

Marisa

Thanks... but it's kinda weird being complimented by you.

Koishi

What, so we're not even allowed to say good job?

Koishi

Fine, fine. I know we're only here to train you all up.

Koishi

No feelings, no feedback, just teaching. That's all we're good for―

Yamame

Whoa, no one said that!

Yamame

Why do you always take things so personally? Can't you tell when someone's joking?

Koishi

Joking? What's that?

Rin

Yamame, let it go. We lost. Why don't we just enjoy the tea party like Hecatia and Junko?

Hecatia

That would certainly be the wise move.

Junko

Failure is an important part of learning. ...Seiran, Ringo, you can have some of my sweets.

Seiran & Ringo

Yay!

Seija

It all worked out this time, but I'll never get used to Koishi's mood swings.

She's always like this, huh?

Seija

Yep. Kokoro was the same at first. Thank goodness for Futo and Minamitsu.

Seija

Personally, I've never been much interested in smoothing things over. I'm more of a feather ruffler.

Yeah, I kinda figured that out.

Seija

Hey, watch it.

Kokoro

You two, zip it.

Kokoro

Come on, Futo. It's announcement time!

Futo

Ahem! Prepare yourselves for an epic face-off between detectives and phantom thieves in a roleplay extravaganza!

Remilia

She said a lot of words but I still don't know what's going on.

Futo

Aww...

Minamitsu

Basically, we figured now that you've all gotten better at roleplay, you all want the same thing.

Kokoro

To test your strength.

Nue

Well...

Patchouli

Guilty as charged.

Koishi

We knew it just from watching you all in class. So let's do this. A detective vs. phantom thief roleplay battle!

Reisen

Here's what you need to know.

Reisen

There'll be two roleplay teams: detectives and phantom thieves.

Reisen

The detective team wins by protecting the treasure, recovering it if stolen, or capturing the thieves.

Sakuya

The phantom thief team wins by stealing the treasure and keeping it till the end or defeating the detectives.

Kokoro

Yep! Futo and Minamitsu will act as referees.

Seija

Let me guess, the game starts with a calling card from the phantom thieves saying when they'll steal the treasure.

Seija

That gives the detectives time to prepare.

Yachie

True. The thieves shouldn't declare a time too far in the future. But they've also got their own prep to think about...

Nue

Basically, both teams need to be on the ball right from the get-go.

Remilia

The game will take place somewhere within Villain Castle, huh?

Remilia

As the detectives, I assume we get to decide where.

Koishi

That's right. But nothing starts until the calling card is placed.

Koishi

Detectives don't just stand around guarding treasure without a good reason.

Koishi

You're off-duty till that calling card arrives!

Remilia

Got it. We'll decide on the location in the meantime.

Shou

Hold on. There's still something we haven't discussed.

Nue

Yeah. What's the treasure?

And, uhh... which side am I on?

Remilia

You've trained with both teams. It's going to be hard to keep things fair.

Koishi

We had the same thought. So we put our heads together and came up with a solution...

Yachie

What are you doing?!

Shou

Firing bullets at her like that is hardly fair.

Th-Thanks, you two.

Koishi

Just as I thought.

Koishi

Both sides really care about PLAYER.

Koishi

Which means my idea is perfect. Hey, PLAYER...

Koishi

Wanna be the treasure?

Wh-Wh-Wh...

Everyone

What?!

Finally!

We're back!

Remilia

We really did spend a long time in Villain Castle, huh?

Remilia

It was practically like being held captive. Tell you the truth, I want to forget all about this showdown and call it quits.

Wait, are you serious?!

Remilia

Of course! I have no idea why you aren't thinking the same thing!

Remilia

You even agreed to be the treasure...

Remilia

Aren't detectives supposed to be cautious?

Remilia

I know it's roleplay, but that's one dangerous role to play!

I guess...

But it sounded fun.

Remilia

*sigh* Am I the only one who hasn't forgotten the missing persons case?

Huh... Joon seemed excited for the showdown, though.

Remilia

True. It's hard to believe how worried she was when she first came to us.

Remilia

That goes for the others, too.

Marisa

I can't wait to get started... As a detective, I'll protect PLAYER no matter what!

Alice

We need to think about how, though.

Patchouli

Not yet. Remember the rules: the game only begins when the calling card arrives.

Alice

Oh, right. I got ahead of myself, teehee.

Alice

I must be enjoying this training more than I realized.

Shou

For now, let's just go over what we learned in class.

Nazrin

Why is everyone using my detective agency like a clubhouse?

Alice

Because!

Patchouli

It's the most!

Marisa

Detective-y place around!

Remilia

Some things never change.

Remilia

Everyone here really is on the same wavelength.

Remilia

...Hm? We only just got back and someone's already here to see us.

Marisa

Maybe investigation requests piled up while we were gone.

Nazrin

It's not like we get them often, though.

Nazrin

I'm coming, I'm coming... Huh?!

Reisen

'Sup.

Reisen

Hey, guys.

It's Reisen and Reisen!

What brings you here?

Reisen

Well, the thing is―

Reisen

Hold up.

Reisen

This is the perfect opportunity for a lesson.

A lesson?

Reisen

That's right. A little test of your deductive skills. So tell us: why did we come here?

Remilia

PLAYER, get back!

Marisa

Whoa, steady there, Remilia. What's the big deal?

Remilia

Think about it. They may have been our instructors...

Remilia

But they're still members of Villain Castle. Which makes them...

Remilia

Our enemies!

Reisen

Wrong. So very, very wrong.

Reisen

We're here to watch over and support you.

Marisa

You are?

Reisen

You've all improved a lot recently.

Reisen

But this showdown is on a whole new scale.

Reisen

You wouldn't want to come up with a dumb plan and trip at the first hurdle, would you?

Reisen

That said, one of you has ALREADY faceplanted onto the floor.

(Remilia looks super embarrassed!)

Reisen

Besides, there's still something we haven't told you.

Shou

What's that?

Reisen

We were summoned to Villain Castle as detective instructors, sure.

Reisen

But our real specialty isn't deductive reasoning, it's combat.

Reisen

We're more soldiers than detectives.

Reisen

A lot of our skills can be applied to detective work, so that's what we taught you.

Reisen

But this showdown is gonna be fierce. And we still haven't shown you how to fight.

Reisen

That's why we're here.

Reisen

But first...

Reisen

We need to get a feel for your current level.

Reisen

Get ready because the lesson...

Reisen

Is about to begin!

Reisen

Battle complete!

Marisa

*pant* *pant* Yep... you guys are soldiers, all right.

Reisen

Told you. We're actually kind of a big deal back home.

Reisen

...Are we?

Reisen

Shh!

Reisen

Anyway, starting today, we'll be training you in the art of bullet battling.

Reisen

Give it your all!

Remilia

Today as in... today? I was hoping for some time off.

Remilia

But still, I'm kind of excited. I guess I'm getting used to life here.

Remilia

...

Remilia

I just wish I could forget embarrassing myself earlier!

A few days later...

Reisen

Hey, quit zoning out!

Patchouli

I'm not zoning out. I'm reading.

Reisen

Same difference!

Reisen

The phantom thieves are busy preparing. Before you know it, they'll launch a surprise attack.

Reisen

Our only option is to stay vigilant even during downtime.

Alice

Yeah, but... we already picked an area of Villain Castle for the showdown.

Alice

And we're not exactly slacking off.

Nazrin

I'll go take a look.

Nazrin

It's you...

???

Hey, what's with that look?

???

I just came...

Seija

To deliver the calling card.

A hand-delivery? Is that even allowed?!

Seija

Why wouldn't it be?

Seija

I get that calling cards normally show up out of the blue.

Seija

But this time, you already know what's being stolen and where the showdown's gonna take place.

Seija

So there's no point being all sneaky.

Seija

Plus―

Patchouli

This gives you a chance to do a little reconnaissance, huh?

Seija

"No way!" I'm only here for a quick look.

Seija

But you all seem super "serious." This might be easier than I thought.

Seija

So, what area of the castle did you choose?

Alice

We chose...

Alice

The training grounds.

Alice

That way, both teams know the layout well.

Remilia

We'll see you in...

Remilia

The Hakugyokurou area.

Remilia

That's where this showdown will be decided.

Seija

Haha, nice choice.

Seija

Guess you weren't slacking after all. You were simply waiting for the calling card to arrive.

Seija

Pretty intimidating, not gonna lie. Anyway, here's the card.

Seija

Like it says, we're coming for the treasure "tonight." Make sure you guard her well.

Seija

Wouldn't be any fun otherwise!

Seija looked like she was having the time of her life.

Everyone does...

Remilia

Duh.

Remilia

We've been waiting for this the whole time.

Alice

We're fully fired up.

Remilia

...Yep.

Alice

You too, Remilia? But you always acted so disinterested in class.

Remilia

That's because a detective's real work is battling phantom thieves and solving cases.

Remilia

Straying from that path is no good. At least, that's what I thought before.

Remilia

This might just be my inexperience talking, but I'm kind of hyped up for the showdown.

Remilia

I think I'm starting to understand what roleplay is all about.

Remilia

Reisen, PLAYER, would you help me with something?

Reisen

I think I see where this is going.

Reisen

But to be honest, I'm here for it.

Remilia

My excitement's bubbling over.

Remilia

I need a battle of bullets to keep my mind focused!

(Everyone's smiling!)

(But...)

(I don't get to be a detective or a phantom thief.)

Remilia

About your hiding place, PLAYER.

I-I'm listening!

(Is it really OK for me to just hide the whole time?)

(I'd rather be out there, helping my friends...)

Marisa

Pretty smart of them to give us the notice on the day they plan to steal the treasure. We need to prepare, but...

Reisen

There's no time.

Alice

Pretty sure that was the point. I bet this was all Seija's idea.

Remilia

No doubt. Back then...

Seija

Pretty intimidating, not gonna lie. Anyway, here's the card.

Remilia

I heard the sound of paper shuffling.

Alice

She probably had two versions of the calling card. One for today, one for another day.

Alice

Then, after she got a good look at us and found out the showdown location, she made her choice.

Reisen

Impressive deduction skills.

Remilia

We had good teachers. You already had that all figured out, though, right?

Reisen

We're just here to support you.

Reisen

But you've all improved far more than I imagined. I'm proud to have been your instructor.

Reisen

It's a shame I won't get to see PLAYER in action, too.

Marisa

She was chosen to be the treasure. Nothing anyone can do about that.

Haha...

(It really is a shame.)

Nazrin

Hey, Reisen. About our setup... I was thinking of adding some cover for the thieves to hide behind.

Shou

Why would we do that?

Reisen

...Actually, it's not a bad idea.

Reisen

The dojo's wide open. They could attack from any angle.

Reisen

But if we give them things to hide behind...

Reisen

We can dictate their route to PLAYER.

Reisen

Normally, you'd be putting yourselves at a disadvantage...

Nazrin

But the showdown's tonight. The thieves won't get to see the layout in advance.

Nazrin

And if we don't have to worry about any surprise attacks, we can simply focus on playing defense.

Nazrin

It's a risk. But one worth taking.

Patchouli

I see... So by giving them an easy path, we know exactly where they'll come from.

Nazrin

Yep!

Nazrin

On the surface, a detective versus phantom thief showdown looks like a flashy battle of wits.

Nazrin

But really, it's all about resource management.

Nazrin

The thieves outnumber us. If they come at us at once, we'll surely lose.

Shou

But if we narrow the battlefield, we can avoid an all-out battle.

Remilia

Sounds like a good plan to me. But the clock's ticking.

Nazrin

That's the only problem.

Patchouli

Don't worry, I'll whip up some obstacle designs.

Alice

And I'll provide manpower. My dolls are well-suited to manual labor.

Marisa

C'mon, we have till nightfall to build a giant maze!

Detectives

All right!

Futo? When did you get here?

...Wait. WHY are you here?

Futo

The calling card hath been delivered. I am to be the detectives' referee.

Futo

But if I may, you all seem rather bewitched by time.

What do you mean?

Futo

Hmm... Mayhaps I shall afford you one hint.

Futo

Who was it that delivered said card?

Sejia.

...No!

Remilia

What's the problem?!

Remilia

*gasp* If Seija delivered it...

Remilia

Then part of it must be in reverse! They're coming "today," not "tonight"!

Whaaaat?!

Seija

Nice deduction skills, detectives.

Seija

Shame you couldn't deduce my little ploy!

Remilia

Hey, that's not fair!

Seija

It's not NOT fair. Which makes it fair!

Seija

I had to deliver the card myself to pull this off.

Marisa

Using the delivery to your advantage... That's a dirty trick!

Seija

You call it a trick, I call it STRATEGY!

Seija

And right now, you're at the mercy of it.

Seija

Phantom thieves, NOW! You're outnumbered, detectives!

Minamitsu

And so, the long-awaited showdown has begun! I'm your commentator, Minamitsu Murasa! And with me is...

Futo

'Tis I, Futo.

Minamitsu

Right now, this showdown is―

Futo

Unfathomably close!

Futo

Phantom thieves and detectives alike are displaying the skills they have acquired.

Futo

Not that I understand those skills myself!

I thought you two were the referees?

Minamitsu

Yeah, but we were mainly supposed to watch over the teams as they set up.

Minamitsu

Seija's little trick basically alleviated us from duty...

Remilia

Not bad, Seija. Seems like you were holding back in class.

Seija

Look who's talking. I preferred you when you weren't interested in detective training.

Remilia

Too bad!

Junko

Teehee, this is rather fun. Don't you two agree?

Seiran

Totally. No-nonsense battles are my favorite!

Ringo

Yeah, this isn't so bad once in a while―whoa!

Chen

I'll save you!

Shou

Chen appeared out of nowhere and carried them away like some sort of superhero!

Nazrin

I know she's a phantom thief... but that was awesome.

Joon

She's pretty dramatic these days, but I can't believe how skilled Chen's become...

Marisa

And I can't believe you're getting all emotional while firing off bullets!

Shou

Those two joined late, but their improvement has been incredible.

Yachie

Even so, this is going nowhere. We have numbers on our side, but you keep taking advantage of our lack of coordination.

Patchouli

What did you expect? Wits and teamwork are what detectives are all about!

Seija

Wh-What's that sound?!

Remilia

Why are you asking me? It's obviously some phantom thief trick.

Seija

Hate to break it to you, but it's not!

Remilia

That means...

Eek! The whole castle's shaking!

Futo

How very astute of thee.

Minamitsu

Astute, indeed.

Umm, guys?

Why are you picking me up?!

Futo

'Tis simple, really.

Minamitsu

We're following orders.

W-Wait, what?!

Futo

The sisters are about to enter the fray.

Koishi

Surpriiiise!

Kokoro

How's everyone getting on?

Seija

What are you doing here?!

Nazrin

Yeah, this is supposed to be a detective versus phantom thief showdown!

Koishi

True. But didn't you wonder why we weren't here?

Koishi

And why we sent Futo and Murasa in our place?

Kokoro

We're villains. If something looks fun, we do it without worrying about who it'll upset.

Koishi

We set up a showdown just so we could crash it. Pretty villainous, huh?

Kokoro

In case you're not picking up what we're putting down...

Kokoro & Koishi

It's time to roleplay with US!

Detectives & Thieves

...

Kokoro

You really should've thought harder about what villains are.

Kokoro

And why we taught you how to roleplay in the first place.

Koishi

We told you from the start...

Kokoro

The roleplay in this world is so dull.

Koishi

And we meant it. But that's not enough of a reason to train you up.

Koishi

After all, this isn't our world.

Remilia

But you DID train us.

Remilia

I had my doubts along the way, but in the end, I brushed them aside.

Remilia

I should've trusted my instincts!

Remilia

You were using us.

Remilia

You never wanted to train us. You wanted a cast for your own roleplay!

Remilia

But you did it anyway because you figured training us up would let you have the most fun.

Koishi

You really are a detective. But don't be too hard on yourself. Our motivations were pure in the beginning.

Koishi

But motives and feelings don't always match. And our feelings led us back to villainy.

Kokoro

And now, we're taking the treasure. You can be sure of one thing: our interest in PLAYER is real.

Remilia

As if I'd let you kidnap her again!

Koishi

Pah hah! Says the vampire too weak to move.

Koishi

If you want PLAYER back, you'll have to offer us something in return.

Kokoro

If not... she's ours forever.

Remilia

They got away...

Remilia

I should've seen this coming!

Yamame

This is what they were after all along. Maybe we were too wrapped up in this showdown.

Hecatia

I was having so much fun that I let my guard down.

Marisa

In the end, the villains were the only winners.

Joon

Hrmm, I don't know whether to be mad or impressed!

Chen

Their entrance was pretty cool.

Mike

Right?! I hate to admit it, but they've got style.

Seija

...

Remilia

Did you guys know about their plan?

Remilia

I'll take that as a no.

Sakuya

They probably kept it a secret to prevent any possible leaks.

Reisen

I agree.

Reisen

Still, as instructors we should have caught onto it.

Seija

I'll admit, they fooled me. Twists like this are supposed to be my specialty.

Remilia

So this whole time, they were in full control.

Alice

Getting the Reisens to help us was all just a ploy to throw us off their scent.

Yachie

They say that to fool your enemies, you first have to fool your friends.

Remilia

Tch, I won't let them get away with this.

Sakuya?

Alice

Sakuya? What's wrong with your voice?

Sakuya

Shh, be quiet.

Sakuya

Alice

We... We don't know.

Sakuya

Shut up!

Sakuya

...Ahem. Excuse me.

Seiran

Is she gonna explain what just happened?

Ringo

Maybe it's better not to ask.

Seiran

But...!

Ringo

I know. But we shouldn't!

Remilia

I'm guessing Sakuya couldn't explain even if she wanted to. All that matters is that it wasn't her speaking.

Sakuya

Thank you.

Remilia

But whoever it was, they're right.

Remilia

The sisters deserve our praise and our envy. Their roleplay is on another level.

Remilia

But to train us up just to tear us down?

Remilia

And steal PLAYER while they're at it?

Remilia

I won't let that slide.

Remilia

It's like not-Sakuya said―we're pathetic.

Seija

If you didn't say it, I was gonna.

Seija

After how those sisters played us, I'm a little ticked off myself.

Remilia

Oh, yeah?

Seija

Koishi said if we want PLAYER back, we'll have to offer them something in return.

Seija

I say we give them a roleplay adventure where the villains lose.

Joon

Meaning...?

Remilia

Don't you get it?

Remilia

We're going to pretend to be people who defeat villains.

Remilia

Not detectives, not phantom thieves.

Remilia

From this moment on...

Remilia

We're heroes!

Koishi

So then!

Kokoro

Time for a victory party!

Futo & Minamitsu

Yay!

...Yay.

Koishi

Futo! Murasa! Keep the tea coming. Villainy is thirsty work!

Kokoro

If you keep drinking like that, your tummy's going to swell up like a water balloon.

Kokoro

Although... maybe that's your destiny.

Koishi

More like a tea balloon! I don't care either way, though―so long as I have room for cookies and macarons!

Minamitsu

I didn't expect things to go this well.

Futo

I, too, am shocked we didn't receive fiercer backlash.

Futo

Mayhaps this is all to the credit of Koishi and Kokoro.

Kokoro

I think they were annoyed. But they couldn't place the blame solely on us.

I know what you mean...

Can't exactly get mad at villains for villainy.

Koishi

You're one smart cookie. As a reward... have a cookie!

Kokoro

Take one of mine, too.

Kokoro

We were right about you. You DO have talent.

I do?

Kokoro

Uh-huh. A talent for roleplay. As both a detective and a phantom thief.

Kokoro

Normally, people have specific roles they're suited to. But not you.

Kokoro

You're like a blank canvas, ready to be painted any color.

Kokoro

That's a wonderful thing. At least, we think it is.

Thanks...

I'm not really sure what to say.

Koishi

Teehee. Maybe a lack of self-awareness is the key to your talent. But to find out...

Eek!

Koishi

Let's do a little improv.

Y-You scared me!

No more surprise battles of bullets!

Koishi

You say that, but you handled yourself well. You were like that during the showdown, too.

Koishi

Speaking to Futo and Murasa should have been enough for you to catch onto our plan.

Koishi

But the detectives and phantom thieves were clueless.

Kokoro

They voiced their doubts, but that's all.

Kokoro

It shouldn't have been hard to figure out. After all, we're villains.

Kokoro

You should've been able to predict that we'd want to spoil everyone's fun.

Kokoro

But you didn't.

Koishi

Yeah, you definitely lose points for that.

Kokoro

Maybe all those lessons worked against you. You clung to what you knew, rather than searching for new possibilities.

Kokoro

It's like dance. Simply stringing together a sequence of moves isn't enough.

Kokoro

If you never add your own twists, it won't ever be YOUR dance.

Koishi

So next time, ditch the theory. Get out there and explore roleplay on your own terms.

Kokoro

Hm... By giving them space to experiment, their own styles will naturally take shape. Nice thinking, Koishi.

...

Minamitsu

Are you OK, PLAYER? You haven't eaten any cookies.

Sorry... But I think I figured it out.

I know why those two really did all this.

Futo

How intriguing. Pray tell.

First, I thought back on what Remilia said...

Remilia

I should've trusted my instincts!

Remilia

You were using us.

Remilia

You never wanted to train us. You wanted a cast for your own roleplay!

Remilia

But you did it anyway because you figured training us up would let you have the most fun.

Futo

Hm... She's not far off.

I know. Koishi and Kokoro really did want to have fun.

But that's not why they trained us.

Their motivation was simpler than that.

All they wanted was to roleplay with everyone.

The more serious, the better.

All they wanted was to roleplay with everyone.

The more serious, the better.

Futo & Minamitsu

...

Kokoro & Koishi

...Huh.

Did I say something weird?

Koishi

Nope.

Kokoro

Not at all.

Kokoro & Koishi

We're just so happy you understand!

Huh?!

Minamitsu

Hugging her out of the blue like that's sure to scare her.

Koishi

We can't help it!

Kokoro

Having someone who gets us makes us so much stronger.

Koishi

That's right. Taking things seriously is the only way to stop them from becoming dull!

Kokoro

Doing things half-heartedly leads to a life half-lived.

Kokoro

That's why we taught everyone our style of roleplay.

Kokoro

Our wish is for everyone to take it as seriously as we do.

Koishi

That's why we took such a liking to PLAYER.

Koishi

When she plays, she really plays. She doesn't care that other people might think it's silly.

Koishi

You give play the respect it deserves.

Koishi

It'd be nice if the detectives and phantom thieves understood.

I think they do.

In their own way.

Koishi

I hope so. I'd hate to think everything we've done has been for nothing.

Koishi

If that were true, we'd have been better off alone, hiding away from the world. And I don't want that.

Kokoro

I get that. But I have a feeling everything's going to be all right.

Koishi

Oh, yeah?

Kokoro

You might not have realized, but when we kidnapped PLAYER, the detectives and thieves looked upset.

Kokoro

So it shouldn't be long until―

Kokoro

See? Told you.

Koishi

Heh... Heh heh heh! Let's get ready, everyone.

Koishi

I think we all know who the intruders are.

Kokoro

We need to arm ourselves.

Koishi

Let's show them what villains are made of.

Futo

Pardon mine interjection, but it seems some unwanted guests have snuck in with the detectives and phantom thieves.

Kokoro

Futo... Why'd you have to ruin our villain speech?

Koishi

Whatever. These visitors will make for a good warmup.

Remilia

Show yourselves, villains!

Seija

We've come for the treasure!

It's Remilia and Seija!

Minamitsu

Shh. Treasure doesn't talk!

Hrmm...

Futo

The sisters shall handle this. Just watch.

Remilia

Hey! Where are you?!

Koishi

There's no need to shout so loud.

Koishi

We're not trying to hide, you know?

Remilia

So why are you cooped up in your castle?

Kokoro

We thought it'd be easier for you not to worry about a moving target.

Seija

How ever will we thank you? ...Charging into the enemy base makes us pretty brave.

Kokoro

Braver than your fellow detectives and phantom thieves, at least. Or perhaps you're just reckless.

Remilia

...

Seija

Fine, call us reckless. Call us whatever you want.

Kokoro

(Are they really the only ones here? The others must have all been too scared...)

Seija

Something wrong?

Koishi

No. Even if just the two of you learned how to take roleplay seriously, that's enough for us.

Remilia

...Let's get to business.

Remilia

Where's PLAYER?

Koishi

You're really asking that? You're a detective. Find her yourself.

Remilia

Why would I do that when I KNOW you know the answer?

Koishi

Hmph. You wanna know, too, Seija?

Seija

Uh-huh. I'm not here to mess about.

Koishi

OK, OK. You're really not interested in us, huh?

Koishi

Without the treasure, you wouldn't agree to roleplay with us.

Koishi

So fine, we'll show you the treasure.

Koishi

Futo! Murasa! Bring her out!

Futo & Minamitsu

On it!

Futo & Minamitsu

'Tis thy time to shine! It's your time to shine!

Can you stop carrying me like this?

You don't BOTH need to wrap your arms around me.

Futo

But this makes us feel like true henchmen.

Remilia!

Seija!

Seija & Remilia

PLAYER!

Remilia

Looks like you know how to handle treasure with care.

Koishi

Of course. We were even thinking of putting her on display.

Kokoro

After all, we're the victors. We can do whatever we like with her.

Remilia

Are you saying we've already lost?

Kokoro

Haven't you?

Seija

Not a chance. We're...

Seija

Just getting started!

Remilia

Now!

???

That's the cue.

Koishi

Huh?! Futo, Murasa, get back!

Koishi

There are phantom thieves above you!

Futo

Fie! That near turned into a disaster.

Yamame

So close...

Kokoro

I see. So that's why only Remilia and Seija confronted us.

Koishi

You wanted to lull us into a false sense of security. Very phantom thief-like.

Remilia

We're just using what you taught us. Isn't that right, Seija?

Seija

Yep. We're model students.

Seija

We all are!

Remilia

Don't be mad that we outnumber you. We only want to test our skills.

Remilia

We know you're the better roleplayers.

Seija

Team Detective and Team Phantom Thief have come together to form... Team Hero!

Seija

Our sole purpose: to defeat the villains. Pretty cool, right?

(Things are getting pretty tense...)

(But for some reason, I'm really excited!)

Koishi

...

Koishi

Hah.

Koishi

Hahahaha!

Koishi

Team Hero... I love it!

Koishi

You put aside your differences to battle a common enemy!

Kokoro

Now we have no choice but to go all out against you.

Kokoro

As true villains!

Remilia

The doors closed!

Koishi

You're trapped.

Kokoro

We figured you weren't planning on running anyway... but this helps raise the stakes.

Koishi

Seems like everyone's ready.

Kokoro

Let's roleplay!

...

Futo

Whatever is the matter, PLAYER? Why art thou pouting?

It's not fair.

Minamitsu

What isn't fair?

Everything!

Futo

Uh-oh. She appeareth truly vexed!

It's not fair! It's not fair!

Futo

This hath turned into one major tantrum!

Minamitsu

What's wrong, PLAYER?!

I...

Futo

Thee?

Want to roleplay, too!

Futo & Minamitsu

...

Futo & Minamitsu

We knew that!

Futo

After all thine effort in class, 'tis only obvious thou wouldst want to participate.

Minamitsu

We get your frustration. It sucks being put on the sidelines.

Futo

All that studying was meant as preparation for real roleplay.

Futo

So being forced to watch and naught else would irk anyone.

I know I'm being selfish. But...

Koishi

Is that all you've got? You can't seriously think you'll beat us like this?

Remilia

Don't underestimate us! ...Detectives, start coordinating better with the thieves!

Seija

Joon! Support Chen and the others. Yachie! Predict Patchouli's movements and back her up.

Kokoro

You think we'll let you sync up? We'll scatter you to the wind!

I want to roleplay, too.

But I'm the treasure. I have to stay out of it.

Futo & Minamitsu

Hrmm...

Minamitsu

Futo, I gotta ask...

Futo

*sigh* Save thy breath. I was thinking the same thing.

Futo

Go ahead, PLAYER. Join the fray.

What?!

Futo

Thou DOST want to roleplay, nay?

W-Well, yeah...

But I'm the treasure.

Futo

True. But thou didst not choose that role. 'Twas assigned to thee.

Minamitsu

Exactly. And if you wanna do the best treasure roleplay of all time, go ahead.

Minamitsu

No doubt it's an important role. And you've done a great job so far.

Minamitsu

But if there's another role you'd like to play, then do it.

Minamitsu

Besides...

Minamitsu

I'm sure the sisters would love to roleplay with you.

You think?

Futo

Trust us! We know them better than anyone.

Futo

All thou needest do is ask.

Futo

Bid them know thou wouldst forsake thy role as treasure and join the merriment.

...OK!

Futo

Teehee! Surely thou art pleased we did stand guard for thee!

Minamitsu

C'mon, there's no time to waste!

Kokoro

When are you guys gonna realize you can't beat us?

Remilia

Pah, don't pretend we can't see you gasping for breath. Give up already!

Koishi

Why would we give up? We still have the treasure―

Koishi

Where are Futo and Murasa? ...And where's PLAYER?!

Minamitsu

Right here!

Futo

You should not have gotten so distracted by the battle. Some treasure has a mind of its own!

That's right!

Koishi

W-Wait, why does it look like PLAYER's getting ready to fight?!

Kokoro

You're supposed to be the treasure. What gives?!

I can't take it anymore!

It's not fair you all get to have fun without me.

So... I decided to join in!

Kokoro

You did, huh?

Koishi

We like you, but if you're here to ruin our roleplay, we won't hesitate to do what's necessary.

*gulp*

Futo

We ought to have foreseen such a turn!

Minamitsu

You have a plan, right? ...Right?!

Ummmmmmm...

I'm gonna be a villain AND a hero.

Aka, an ANTI-HERO!

Kokoro

Wow!

Koishi

An anti-hero, huh? That's pretty awesome.

Kokoro

It's totally legit, too. A role that combines both justice and sin!

I-I'm glad you like my idea.

(I literally just came up with it!)

Now, let me get in on the roleplay!

Remilia

St-Stop!

What's wrong?

Remilia

Everything's been happening so fast, I can barely keep track.

Koishi

Do you need to lie down?

Remilia

I'd love to... but why are you the one asking?

Should I ask instead?

Remilia

No! And wipe that grin off your face. This is your fault for abandoning your role!

Remilia

Are you even taking this seriously? We were supposed to be allies, but now you're going to go against me?

No way.

I just wanted to roleplay with everyone.

You know, super seriously!

Remilia

This is going nowhere... Did Futo and Murasa put you up to this?

Are you... mad at me?

Remilia

I'm not mad. I'm just shocked.

Remilia

Although... I do kind of see where you're coming from.

Seija

Yeah. After all that training, you must be itching to put your skills to the test.

Seija

And I bet everyone here's thinking the same thing...

Seija

We wanna test our skills against you.

Seija

On the training grounds, we fought against and alongside you. But we've never faced you for real.

Seija

Right, Remilia?

Remilia

Uh-huh. That's why I was so surprised.

Remilia

The whole lead-up felt ridiculous, like we'd been caught in a prank.

Remilia

But standing here now, I realized something...

Remilia

I can't wait to battle PLAYER.

Seija

You're not alone. Most of us didn't come here by choice, but we all stayed till the end. Why?

Seija

Because...

Seija & Remilia

We realized how fun serious roleplay is!

Koishi

Everyone's smiles are so wonderful. We did it, Kokoro.

Koishi

The stage is set. We can finally go all out.

Kokoro

Well, what are we waiting for?

Koishi

Let's see how serious you all are!

Remilia

Right back at you!

Minamitsu

And so, here we are―the final round of roleplay.

Minamitsu

I'm your commentator, Minamitsu Murasa. Joining me as ever is...

Futo

I, Mononobe no Futo.

Futo

...

Futo

Wait, who are we commentating for?

Minamitsu

Umm... Koishi! Kokoro! Who are we commentating for again?

Minamitsu

I don't think they can hear us...

Futo

It matters not. We do this but out of sheer boredom.

Minamitsu

True. We're not cut out to be villains, and we didn't do any phantom thief or detective training.

Futo

Taking care of the sisters was enough for us.

Minamitsu

They sure kept us busy...

Futo

Mayhaps that was another act of villainy. And to think, I chortled when first they proclaimed themselves villains.

Futo & Minamitsu

Hahaha!

Koishi

You two seem like you're having fun.

Futo

How now?!

Koishi

So spending time with us was that hard for you?

Koishi

Fine, we won't bother you anymore.

Koishi

We'd hate to cause you more trouble―

Futo

W-Wait! Thou art leaping forth to conclusions!

Minamitsu

Y-Yeah! The truth is, we had a pretty great time with you.

Koishi

You did?

Minamitsu

Some parts were rough... But overall, yeah!

Minamitsu

You took us in when we had nowhere else to go. For that, we're grateful.

Minamitsu

And to be honest, even the hard times were fun.

Koishi

Hmm... I'm glad to hear it.

Minamitsu

By the way, shouldn't you be, you know... battling?

Koishi

Ah, that. Kokoro's fighting for Team Villain right now. I figured it was OK for me to take a break.

Minamitsu

What about the anti-hero, PLAYER?

Koishi

She's battling against the phantom thieves at the moment.

Futo

Thou art not going to intervene?

Koishi

That'd be bad roleplay manners.

Koishi

Villains act freely. Me and Kokoro agree on that.

Koishi

But too much freedom's bad. If you want to stay free, you have to respect others' freedom.

Koishi

In this case, that means not interrupting a battle between former allies.

Koishi

Besides, I'm curious to see if PLAYER can hold her own.

Koishi

Anyone can talk a big game. Whether they can pull it off, that's another story.

Koishi

So for now, I'm sticking to the sidelines.

Futo

Whoa... Thou art noble.

Minamitsu

And yet, she's still villainous.

Minamitsu

Since we're going to be watching for a while, I'll get us some tea.

Koishi

Thanks!

Reisen

Bring some for us, too.

Reisen

I take mine extra strong.

Koishi

I was sure you weren't here.

Sakuya

We couldn't miss our students' big moment.

Sakuya

We're only here to support them, though. There'll be none of our bullets flying around.

Reisen

The three of us were hiding so we wouldn't get counted on any of the teams.

Koishi

Let's watch together, then. You don't get to see roleplay like this every day.

Koishi

If my instincts are right, we're in for a treat!

Everyone's taking roleplay so seriously.

I couldn't be having more fun!

???

Having fun is great!

Rin

But let us have some, too!

Mike & Chen

Yeah!

Rin

Your roleplay skills have improved, but so have ours.

Chen

Our days of getting lured in by cat food are over!

Mike

You only became an anti-hero, like, five minutes ago. There's no way you can beat us!

I dunno...

I reckon you're all meow with no bite.

Chen

Y-You're doing wordplay now?! Cool!

Anti-heroes are equal parts cool and nasty!

...No response, huh? Cat got your tongue?!

Mike

Tch, you were the top student for a reason!

Mike

But that was training. This is the real thing!

Rin

Right! We sharpened our thief skills in class, too. Get it? Sharpened? Like claws...

Chen

Good one. We'll beat you by a whisker, PLAYER! ...Wait, no. That's a bad thing.

Hang on. I thought you were on Team Hero?

Mike & Chen

...

Chen

Yeah, but that all happened so fast. We didn't have time to think it over!

Rin

So stop nitpicking! You forced us to do this...

Mike

Apollo Phantom Thieves! Help us out!

???

You got it!

I'm being kidnapped again!

Why is everyone so rough with me?!

Ringo

Sorry, PLAYER. This is just good teamwork.

Seiran

Your best option here...

Junko

Is to play nice and admit defeat.

Eek!

I'm surrounded!

Rin

We've got the numbers, the strategy, the skills... and now we have the win!

Mike

You never stood a chance against the phantom thieves!

N-Nooo!

I won't lose. Not yet!

Seiran

Whoa, she's stronger than I thought!

Rin

Yeah, but we've still got her surrounded!

Mike

Now it's time to bring her down!

Chen

Get ready, PLAYER. Here we come!

*pant* *pant*

Junko

That was a lot of fun. Roleplay isn't so bad after all.

Junko

I actually wanted to keep going. But everyone else...

Ringo

PLAYER's too strong. We give up!

Junko

Fine. I'll go down with the ship...

Junko

Curses! *dramatic faint*

That was a close one.

Curses makes her sound more like a villain, though.

Seiran

You're not the first one to think that.

Wait, while we were battling...

Did the other phantom thieves get taken down, too?

Junko

Looks like it.

Junko

By your partner, no less.

My partner?

Remilia

I took care of the others, PLAYER.

All of them?!

Remilia

Duh. ...Wait, maybe I should say something more detective-y.

Remilia

'Twas trivial, dear PLAYER.

Remilia

Don't make me clean up after you again, OK?

Remilia

I never expected things to turn out like this.

Remilia

To think it all started with a missing persons report from Joon.

Where are the other detectives?

Remilia

Seija and co. took them out.

Remilia

Can't blame them―they were heavily outnumbered. Seija was pretty tired out, so I took care of her after.

What about the detective's teamwork?!

Remilia

Relax. I didn't tell them, but this was all part of my plan.

What plan?

Remilia

It's simple, really. I didn't want anyone interrupting our battle.

Remilia

That's all.

Minamitsu

Wh-What's going on?!

Futo

Remilia turneth 'gainst her former partner?!

Futo

The tides of battle have put them on opposing sides...

Minamitsu

She must figure that it has to be her that stops PLAYER!

Minamitsu

I kinda get where she's coming from... But this is starting to remind me of a lovers' quarrel.

Futo

Thou art just saying that because they are both so cute.

Minamitsu

Yikes! What are you, a satori youkai?!

Remilia

Would you two shut up?!

Koishi

Remilia's plan isn't half bad. At the very least, it's good roleplay.

Koishi

Kokoro's the final boss. She's only interested in taking on the last roleplayer standing, so she's wiping people out at random.

Koishi

Which is exactly what Remilia wants: a clear battlefield to take on PLAYER.

Futo

So thou meanest to say Kokoro shan't interfere with PLAYER and Remilia's battle?

Koishi

That would be bad roleplay etiquette. Villains are free―but we're not THAT free.

Koishi

Remilia knows that. Which is why she created this situation.

Koishi

She scores the first roleplay point!

Futo

There are points now?

Remilia

Those spectators are getting on my nerves.

Haha, they sure are loud.

Remilia

But if they're having fun...

I had the same thought.

After all, this is―

Remilia

Roleplay. Yes, I know.

Remilia

No matter how seriously we take it, "play" is still in the name.

Remilia

I think everyone here remembers that.

Remilia

I want to play with you as much as I can.

Remilia

The time for talk is over.

Remilia

You're mine, anti-hero!

Remilia

*pant* *pant* Even after all my strategizing, I still can't win. But somehow I'm not upset.

Remilia

...So this is what it's like to lose after giving your all in roleplay?

You put up a good fight.

Remilia

Don't. Your sympathy only makes this defeat sting.

Remilia

Still, I can say this...

Remilia

Going up against someone who didn't even need to use their full strength to beat me... was an honor.

Futo

Seemeth it to any here that she is on the verge of vanishing?

Remilia

Quiet! Can't you see we're roleplaying here?!

Futo

Yikes!

Minamitsu

I-Ignore us! Do go on!

Remilia

Tch... PLAYER, let me ask you something.

Remilia

We called ourselves heroes, detectives and phantom thieves alike, to take back the treasure. Aka, you.

Remilia

But you abandoned your role and declared yourself an anti-hero.

Remilia

Why?

Isn't it obvious?

To end the fighting myself.

Remilia

Huh...

Remilia

And let me guess, you wanted to have some fun while you were at it?

Remilia

Doing the right thing for selfish reasons... You really are an anti-hero.

Futo

The phantom thieves and detectives are defeated. None but the villains and the anti-hero still stand.

Minamitsu

But who will be the winner? Does anyone here wanna find out?!

Detectives & Thieves

Yeeeah!

Minamitsu

At first, we had no one to commentate for. But all the defeated roleplayers got bored and have come to watch!

Minamitsu

Things are getting a little tight in here! If anyone wants more tea... get it yourself!

Wow, they're packed in like sardines.

Koishi

I'm surprised they're still all so energetic.

Kokoro

By the looks of it, they're having fun.

Koishi

They gave their all during roleplay, so now they can relax.

You're happy with their performance?

Kokoro

Of course. Their bullets were no joke.

Kokoro

They took a beating, but now they can smile about it.

Kokoro

Because they gave their all.

Koishi

Taking roleplay seriously is great, huh, PLAYER?

It really is.

Koishi

But the fun's almost over.

Kokoro

It's sad, but nothing can last forever. If it did, it wouldn't feel special.

Kokoro

Our final roleplay session has arrived.

Kokoro

We've never had to try so hard before, PLAYER!

Koishi

All cower in our presence. We relish our opponents' fear. But...

Kokoro & Koishi

Facing someone truly strong is its own pleasure!

Kokoro

Are you ready?

Koishi

You better be.

Kokoro

Because it's time to―

Futo & Minamitsu

Fight!

Detectives & Thieves

Fight!

Koishi

Urgh, you're all out of sync!

Kokoro

This can't be... Defeated by a child!

Who are you calling a child?!

Koishi

Nice post-battle ad libbing, but it doesn't work when you sound so happy about it.

Kokoro

I tried to act mad, but I was having too much fun.

Kokoro

Roleplay is just a type of play. A performance, if you will.

Kokoro

But giving it your all is the best.

Koishi

Agreed. But that sounds like the sort of thing a villain says after they lose the final battle.

Does that mean...?

Koishi

Yep, we're defeated.

Minamitsu

Did you hear that?!

Futo

We declare this roleplay battle's victor to be...

Minamitsu

The one and only PLAYER!

I...

I did it!

Koishi

Congrats, PLAYER.

Koishi

Thanks for helping us have such a great time.

Right back at you!

Kokoro

Koishi, before we forget, we should... you know?

Should what?

Koishi

You're right. Otherwise, all that practice will go to waste.

Kokoro & Koishi

Three, two, one...

Kokoro & Koishi

Villainy has been defeated!

Seija

Yikes, I got totally trounced!

Seija

I didn't even get to show off all my skills!

Remilia

Doesn't seem like you're taking the defeat too bad.

Seija

So? Am I supposed to be sulking?

Reisen

You really only contributed at the beginning, huh?

Seija

Haha, can't argue with that!

Seija

You could've said it a little nicer, though...

Sakuya

Don't worry, I appreciate how much effort you put in.

Sakuya

It's just your opponent wasn't playing fair.

Remilia

Hey, what's that supposed to mean?

Reisen

Seija simply got caught unaware.

Reisen

Remilia's plan to make her battle the detectives, then swoop in and secure the final blow was solid.

Marisa

Using your allies to secure victory... You should be a villain.

Patchouli

Meh, I'm sure there are detectives who do whatever it takes to catch criminals. Don't you agree, PLAYER?

Haha...

Hecatia

We don't normally chat like this after a battle. It's fun.

Koishi

Right?!

Koishi

We're glad you think so! Taking roleplay seriously makes all of it way more fun!

Remilia

I get that... but kidnapping people is still not OK.

Joon

Agreed. I was so worried!

Kokoro

Maybe...

Kokoro

But in the end, everything worked out.

Koishi

I think they were hoping for some sort of apology.

Remilia

Two, actually. You're just as guilty as she is.

Koishi

Teehee!

Remilia

Forget it. An apology would just annoy me now. Besides, it wouldn't be very villainous of you.

Koishi

No, but a FAKE apology to buy time for the next scheme would be.

Koishi

Yeah, but thanks to all of you, we've had enough fun for now.

Kokoro

Yep. We did what we came here for.

Kokoro

Which means...

Kokoro

It's time to say goodbye.

What?

Remilia

Are you...

Remilia

Going home?

Koishi

That's the plan. We already did so much roleplay here.

Chen

Can't you stay a bit longer?

Mike

Yeah! We wanna learn more phantom thief tricks.

Kokoro

That makes me so happy. But playtime is over.

Kokoro

Now you can look forward to next time.

Kokoro

Play that goes on forever gets stale. You have to stop before that happens.

Koishi

So it's bye-bye from us!

Koishi

But it's OK! Your roleplay will never be dull again.

Koishi

If you ever forget how to take it seriously, just call our names.

Kokoro

Wherever you are, we'll come running.

Koishi... Kokoro...

Thanks so much! I had tons of fun with you!

Kokoro

Farewell!

Kokoro

Come on, Koishi, we're going home. That includes you lot.

Futo

Understood!

Minamitsu

I'm looking forward to the next roleplay session already. But first... what should we have for dinner?

Reisen

Hmm, I'm good with anything. So long as there's lots of it!

Seija

You read my mind. All this roleplay has made me hungry.

Hang on...

Koishi

See you guys again soon!

Remilia

When they said they were going home, I thought they meant back to their world...

Remilia

They're just going back to Villain Castle!

Yukari

*sneaky crawl*

I can see you, you know?

Yukari

Y-You can?!

Yukari

All that practice was for nothing...

Yukari

I take it you learned a lot about stealth on your adventure?

I dunno...

But I had lots of fun!

Yukari

Teehee, I'm glad to hear it.

Yukari

When people hear "play," they think of children messing around.

Yukari

But to the children, play is serious business.

Yukari

That fact shouldn't be taken lightly.

True. And playing seriously―

Yukari

Is seriously fun!

That's what I was gonna say!

Yukari

To be honest, I didn't think things would turn out the way they did. This all started with kidnappings, remember?

Haha, good times.

Yukari

Still, no matter how serious things get, you shouldn't forget it's all play.

Yukari

Actually, that's not quite right.

Yukari

You shouldn't forget to have fun.

Yukari

So long as you're having fun, you can keep moving forward.

Yukari

I'm not sure if those two villains realized that, but it's true.

Yukari

Anyway, I'm sure there'll be another roleplay session sometime. But not yet.

Yukari

Koishi and Kokoro may even find a way to enjoy their downtime.

Yukari

Why don't you go check on them for yourself?

Yukari

But promise to keep things calmer this time, OK?!

Yukari

Watching you in there, declaring yourself an anti-hero, made me nervous!

You got it!

Yukari

Somehow, your enthusiasm makes me more worried...

Yukari

Whatever. I'm going to keep practicing my stealth techniques.

Yukari

*sneaky crawl*

(Should I tell her I can still see her?)

A few days after the anti-hero and villains' final battle...

*sip* *sip*

Remilia

*om nom*

Remilia

More dango, please.

Seiran

Why are you two here? I distinctly remember us being rivals.

Remilia

After all that roleplay, we've earned a break. *om nom* Besides, these dango are too yummy to pass up.

Seiran

Thanks. I get why you two want a break, though.

Seiran

Big battles and dramatic speeches help you appreciate the quieter moments in life.

Seiran

*moon rabbit stretch* Maybe I'll close up early and relax for a while...

Seiran

What's all that noise? ...Eek!

Remilia

Hey, no screaming―Eek!

Seiran, can I have some more tea―Eek!

Koishi

Get outta my wayyy!

K-Koishi's rampaging through the village!

Koishi

Oh hey, PLAYER! Can you help me hide?

Seiran

Get out of my shop! ...And what do you mean, help you hide?!

Koishi

Isn't it obvious? I'm being chased and I need to hide!

Chased by who?

Koishi

You'll have to wait and see.

You don't look particularly worried!

Remilia

I think I see where this is going...

???

Koishi! Where are youuu?!

Seija

Hey, guys! Long time, no see!

Yeah...

How come you're running around yelling?

Seija

I'm trying to find Koishi. I saw her heading this way. You haven't seen her, have you?

Umm...

Can't say I have.

What did she do, anyway?

Seija

I was trying to deal with it myself...

Seija

But now she's dashed into the village, I guess it's too late for that.

Remilia

(All I wanted was to eat dango...)

Seija

Long story short, she stole some super valuable treasure.

She did?!

Koishi

Wh-Why're you looking at me?! You'll give away my hidey spot!

Seija

Koishi... Hand over the treasure!

Koishi

No way!

Ahh!

Remilia

Those two sure are full of energy.

Seiran

I thought the roleplay was over for now.

Remilia

Guess they've forgotten where roleplay ends and real life begins. PLAYER, when we're done eating―

Remilia

PLAYER? If you want to play hide-and-seek, at least let me finish my dango first.

Seiran

...Look over there.

Remilia

Where?

Seija

Hey! Why are you kidnapping PLAYER?!

Koishi

Duh, 'cause I thought it'd be fun!

Remilia

...

Seiran

I know I'm a phantom thief... but do you wanna work together on this one?

Remilia

Yeah, that might be a good idea.

Koishi

OK, we should be safe now. You're pretty quick, PLAYER!

*pant* *pant* So are you...

Koishi

All that running made me hungry. *om nom* This dango's delicious! I'm adding it to my approved tea sweets list!

Those are from Seiran's shop!

Did you take them without permission?!

Koishi

Oops, my bad. *om nom* *om nom* *gulp*

Koishi

Problem solved!

Problem NOT solved!

...So what happened?

Koishi

You really wanna know?

Well, you kinda dragged me into this... literally.

Koishi

That's the only reason you care, huh?

Koishi

All you want is to go back to drinking tea.

Koishi

Admit it. You think I'm a no-good troublemaker, don't you?

*resists urge to nod*

Koishi

Hmph. I'm not telling you nothing! To think, I was gonna bring you along.

Koishi

Byeee!

What?!

She's gone...

???

Hey, PLAYER.

Seija

You look pretty puffed out... Where's Koishi?!

She went that way.

Seija

Thanks!

Seija

You're not lying to me, are you?

N-No!

Seija

Why should I trust you? You helped her hide before.

That wasn't on purpose!

T-Trust me, she went that way.

Seija

Hmm, I still can't tell if you're lying. Luckily, I know a way to find out!

Why me?!

Seija

Looks like you were telling the truth.

Told ya!

Seija

Sorry. It's just... the treasure Koishi took spells bad news for all of us.

Seija

Or rather―

???

There's a risk that it might.

Seija

You finally caught up. Hate to break it to you, but Koishi got away.

Minamitsu

Sorry. Futo kept getting us lost.

Futo

I was using feng shui to track her, howbeit the smell of dango did draw me astray.

Futo

The sweets in the castle were delightful, but traditional sweets are more to my taste!

Futo

'Tis a dire situation we find ourselves in. We must find that pesky thief, post-haste.

Minamitsu

Or else we're all in BIG trouble.

Wh-What sort of treasure did she steal?!

Seija

The scary kind. Luckily, we still have some time. But we have to prepare for the worst.

Futo

She hath stolen―

Koishi

What gives? Why aren't you chasing me anymore?

Koishi?!

Koishi

Guess I shouldn't be surprised. Everyone always forgets about me.

Koishi

All you're interested in is the treasure.

Wow...

I didn't expect THAT!

Koishi

All you're interested in is the treasure.

Wow...

I didn't expect THAT!

Seija

Give them back!

Seija

Kokoro found those so we could go home!

Koishi

No way! If you want them, you'll have to catch me!

Futo

Hrmm... We have no choice but to renew our search.

Minamitsu

It'll be quicker if we split up.

W-Wait!

Are you really going home?

Seija

I suppose we should explain.

Seija

It all started yesterday...

Reisen

We all got called here out of the blue. I wonder what's up.

Sakuya

Who knows? Maybe the sisters are plotting something.

Reisen

Whatever it is, maybe we should let it slide. After all, they're taking such good care of us.

Minamitsu

And it's not like we have anywhere else to go!

Futo

'Tis sad but true. Well, Koishi? Wilt thou tell us what's occurring?

Seija

She doesn't know, huh? I have a bad feeling about this.

Kokoro

Well, you shouldn't. Thanks for coming, everyone.

Kokoro

I called you here for one reason: to give you a reward for all of your fantastic roleplay.

Seija

A reward?

Kokoro

None of you asked to come to this world, yet you played along with me and Koishi.

Kokoro

I know many of you wish to go home. So I looked far and wide...

Kokoro

For these.

Reisen

I think I've seen one of those before.

Reisen

Me, too. I saw one glowing just before I arrived here.

Kokoro

We saw something similar. The only difference was the color.

Kokoro

These hold the power to grant wishes. I'm sure of it.

Reisen

So you think we can use them to go back home?

Kokoro

That's right. We had great fun roleplaying with you all. But now, it's time to say goodbye.

Sakuya

Are you sure you don't mind us leaving first?

Kokoro

We're sure. After all, we're the reason you're here.

Futo

Thou art being unusually magnanimous. I'm touched.

Minamitsu

You did this for us?!

Kokoro

Naturally. A true villain takes care of her allies.

Kokoro

But I haven't found enough for―huh?

Kokoro

They were right here a second ago.

Koishi

So these things grant wishes...

Kokoro

Koishi, give those back. They're extremely valuable.

Koishi

But if I do that, everyone will leave.

Koishi

...

Koishi

So no.

Seija

I know how you feel... but Kokoro found those for US.

Seija

You can't just steal them.

Koishi

Why not?

Koishi

It sounds exactly like the sort of thing a villain would do.

So THAT'S why you're chasing her.

Seija

Yep. ...Is it me, or are you gearing up for a battle?

I never got a chance to take on Futo and Murasa.

Seija

Don't tell me you're still roleplaying, too?!

Minamitsu

I think I know what this is.

Futo

If she defeats us, we are obliged to become her allies.

Futo

We were relegated to the sidelines before. But not this time. Have at it.

Seija

We don't have time for this!

Futo

Urgh, fine! If thou so insist, I shall pursue Koishi. Thou and Murasa do battle with PLAYER in my stead!

Futo

She doth only seek to make merry before we all depart this world!

N-No, I'm not!

*blush*

Seija

*sigh* Fine. But you promise to help us after this, right?

Promise!

Minamitsu

Now let's do this.

Futo

...

Futo

FIGHT!

Seija

Phew, I'm beat.

Minamitsu

We lost...

That was so much fun!

Seija

Good. Now, back to our search.

Minamitsu

You mean we don't get a break?!

Seija

No time for that. On your feet. You're coming too, yeah, PLAYER?

You bet!

Seija

Futo went that way, right? Let's see if we can catch up to her.

Futo

Come out, Koishi! Thou art surrounded!

Remilia

What she said!

Reisens

Yeah!

Nazrin

Seriously, come out!

Futo

Thou art breaking Kokoro's heart!

Kokoro

*sniff* I'll try talking to her.

Sakuya

No, you just focus on crying more. That's the only way to break her.

Seija

Umm...

Minamitsu

What's going on here?

Futo

People lodge therein, thou knowest! Come out, lest thou disturb their day!

Koishi

We roleplayed together, so we're friends now! Right, Nazrin?!

Nazrin

We DID roleplay together... But I dunno if that makes us friends.

Nazrin

You did kinda barge in.

Koishi

Everybody, get out! I'm barricading myself in!

Nazrin

Friends don't tell other friends to "get out." Not to mention, we were setting up a search party for PLAYER.

Minamitsu

Even for a villain, this is mean.

A search party for me?

Nazrin

F-Found her!

Remilia

Given that you're only involved because Koishi kidnapped you, I suppose you could call this fate.

Remilia

But I'm still confused about what's going on here.

Seija

Didn't that crybaby tell you yet?

Remilia

Nobody tells me anything. They just drag me into their mess.

Seija

I know how you feel.

Remilia

Right... So she doesn't want to say goodbye to everyone from Villain Castle.

Remilia

...

Aren't you gonna make fun of her?

Remilia

She's too cute to make fun of!

Remilia

Still, we have to stop her. Those crystals could cause a heap of trouble.

Seija

True. We could always bring down the whole building...

Nazrin

No! Anything but that!

Remilia

In that case, we better try talking to her.

Remilia

But there's something I have to ask you Villain Castle folk first.

Seija

We don't have time for a Q&A.

Remilia

This is important. You might say it's the key to this case.

Oh, you sound so detective-y!

Kokoro

What do you wanna know?

Remilia

Simple. What do YOU want?

Remilia

You have a way home now. It's not a guarantee, but it's a solid lead.

Remilia

Koishi ran off with the crystals before you said whether you wanted to use them or not.

Remilia

If your answer's no, then we can put this debacle to bed right here.

Remilia

So?

Minamitsu

...

Sakuya

I―no, we...

Remilia

I see.

Remilia

Just one more question...

Remilia

Why didn't you say that before?!

Minamitsu

You said it yourself: she ran off before we got the chance!

Remilia

Tch. There was me thinking this would be a good test of my detective skills.

Remilia

I can't be bothered anymore... But I suppose I should see this through to the end.

Remilia

OK, first things first. You lot... fight!

Seija

Why?

Remilia

Because that's the fastest way to get Koishi out here. You know the old tale, right?

Futo

Ah, verily. The one where a god was lured out of hiding by other gods making a ruckus.

Remilia

If Koishi thinks we're out here having fun without her, she's bound to come and investigate.

Remilia

That's when we grab her. But we can't give the game away.

Remilia

Which means... we have to go all out!

Koishi

Hey! Weren't you all talking about how to get me outside?!

Koishi

What's with all the noise?

Koishi

...

Everyone

...

Koishi

Did you trick me?

Remilia

All according to plan. Get her!

Reisen

Target secured!

Koishi

I won't go down without a fight!

Koishi

Nooo!

Kokoro

We got her!

Remilia

No need to ask why you did it. You just didn't want everyone to leave, right?

Koishi

...Uh-huh.

Koishi

It was us who dragged them all here.

Koishi

Me and Kokoro already knew each other, so it's fine. But for everyone else, it's different.

Koishi

They obviously want to go home. But I want to roleplay with them more.

Remilia

So you took the crystals and ran?

Koishi

Yeah.

Remilia

Want to know what I think? You're a fool. A fast fool, sure. But a fool nonetheless.

Remilia

Your friends care about you more than you think.

Koishi

Huh?

Reisen

We're not leaving yet.

Koishi

You're not?

Reisen

There aren't enough crystals for all of us.

Koishi

Really? But I thought with this many...

Kokoro

No. I was about to explain when you ran off.

Kokoro

We're sure. After all, we're the reason you're here.

Futo

Thou art being unusually magnanimous. I'm touched.

Minamitsu

You did this for us?!

Kokoro

Naturally. A true villain takes care of her allies.

Kokoro

But I haven't found enough for―huh?

Koishi

Guess I shoulda waited a little more.

Kokoro

Yes, you should've.

Kokoro

No one wants to go home until we have enough crystals for everyone.

Koishi

Really?

Seija

"No." Believe us now?

Minamitsu

We're all in the same boat. But personally, I'm glad to be aboard.

Futo

If we are to leave, we shall leave together.

Sakuya

I'm also rather interested in those crystals.

Seija

That reminds me...

Koishi

Eek!

Seija

Caught you at last!

Seija

Now behave yourself. At least until the next round of roleplay starts.

Koishi

O-OK!

Kokoro

Case closed. Let's head back to the castle.

Koishi

Wait! I need to talk to PLAYER.

Kokoro

No more kidnapping.

Koishi

I know, I know.

What is it?

Koishi

There are two things. First, I wanna say sorry for dragging you into things today.

That's OK!

I... I understand why you stole the crystals.

Koishi

You do?

Yeah. It's going to be sad to see everyone go.

Koishi

Huh?

Is that not how you feel?

Koishi

Nope.

...

Koishi

I don't want everyone to leave. But not because it'll be sad.

Koishi

Because I don't want to lose my roleplay buddies.

What's the difference?

Koishi

With less people around, we'll have to scale down the fun.

Koishi

Even if it's not everyone, SOMEONE in Villain Castle might want to go home using a crystal.

Koishi

And I don't want that. So I decided to put my acting skills to the test.

Koishi

You know, to tug on everyone's heartstrings.

Koishi

Which brings me to the second thing.

Koishi

Thanks to your help today, everyone's true feelings came out.

Koishi

They might leave eventually, but it seems like we'll be together for at least a little longer.

Koishi

What I'm tryna say is...

Koishi

Thank you.

Kokoro

C'mon, Koishi. We have to get back to the castle.

Koishi

Coming!

Koishi

Keep this conversation our little secret, OK?

...OK?

Koishi

Thanks! Let's roleplay again soon.

Koishi

Byeee!

Remilia

It's finally over. What were you and Koishi talking about?

Umm...

Koishi

Keep this conversation our little secret, OK?

She wanted me to promise we'd roleplay again soon.

Remilia

Tell you the truth, I need a break. Want to head home?

Sure.

(I can't believe Koishi was acting this whole time.)

(She had me fooled.)

(...She's one scary villain!)

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