Lossy's Journal

Yukari

Hello, PLAYER. The excitement of New Year's has probably worn off by now, hasn't it?

Yukari

You worked so hard helping out at Hakurei Shrine last year. You were practically a maid.

Yukari

Teehee. A tiny, adorable maid. But you know, there are actually all kinds of maids out there.

Yukari

So, what do you picture when you hear the word maid?

Washing dishes!

Cleaning up!

T-Taking care of dangerous tasks.

Yukari

Fascinating.

Yukari

There's no strict definition of maid work. They might serve food, do the laundry, act as a tutor, transcribe notes...

Yukari

I've even heard of maids who worked as bodyguards. Now THAT'S dangerous work.

Wow, I had no idea.

Yukari

Hehe, a maid can be just about anything.

Yukari

But ultimately, it's their master who decides.

Yukari

Of course, how the maid herself feels about her work matters too.

Yukari

No two maids are perfectly alike. They each shape their own image.

Yukari

It's not all about obeying orders blindly.

Yukari

Perhaps the maids you know represent that best.

You mean like Miss Sakuya?!

Yukari

Yes. She certainly takes things into her own hands.

Yukari

Anyway, that's enough chit-chat.

Yukari

In this next world, maids are popping up everywhere.

Why?

Is it to make chocolate?

Choice Selected: "Why?"

Yukari

That's a secret. You'll have to find out for yourself.

Continue onto main branch.

Choice Selected: "Is it to make chocolate?"

Yukari

Sharp as ever. But that's not the full story. I expect you'll find out for yourself before long.

Main Branch

OK!

Yukari

Teehee. You'll get to see all sorts of maids. Some are less maidlike than others...

Yukari

But make no mistake, they're all maids. In their own ways.

That makes no sense... But I'm still excited!

Yukari

I'm glad to hear that. I was worried you might be frightened.

Yukari

All right, off you go.

L2.10 Universe. Somewhere in the Human Village...

???

Good morning, Master!

Remilia

I see. So you do want to become a maid.

Remilia

But you can't learn proper manners overnight.

Remilia

It's sudden, but your training starts now. Don't worry, it'll get fun eventually.

Remilia

All right, repeat after me. Welcome!

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

W-Welcome!

WELCOME!

Remilia

Where are your smiles?! You need to show that you mean no harm.

Remilia

You need to smile with your WHOLE body. The art of being a maid lies beyond the five senses.

Kosuzu

O-OK, Miss Remilia!

Remilia

Good. But from now on, you call me Master.

Remilia

Let me hear you say it.

Kosuzu

Yes, M-Master!

Remilia

Don't stutter. Make it cheerful!

Remilia

You're next, PLAYER!

Yes, Master!

Remilia

Not even close.

Remilia

Let's start with the basics. Listen closely.

Remilia

A maid exists to serve her master. If it rains, she becomes an umbrella. If the wind blows, she becomes a tree to block it.

Remilia

If there's a drought, she becomes a pail of water. If snow falls, she becomes a fireplace.

Reimu

Zzz...

Remilia

Wake up!

Reimu

Ow! I-I wasn't asleep, I swear!

Remilia

A maid's manners must be impeccable. If one of you slips up, you ALL get punished!

Kosuzu

Eek!

Remilia

No dodging!

Akyuu

Come on, Head Maid, let's keep things civil. They're newbies.

Remilia

Akyuu... I'll admit, you have a knack for this. Call it maid instincts.

Akyuu

I'm honored by your kind words.

Remilia

But you still have a long way to go. Talent alone doesn't make a maid. Effort is non-negotiable.

Remilia

You need a reminder!

Akyuu

I thought my talent would suffice, but I was wrong.

Akyuu

I accept my punishment!

Remilia

W-Well, when you say it like that, it's kind of hard to start firing.

Remilia

I'll give PLAYER a punishment hug instead!

Remilia

*squeeze*

Why me?!

Remilia

Phew.

Remilia

And why are you all so relaxed? I said you ALL get punished, didn't I?

Remilia

As the Head Maid of Elysium, it's my duty to discipline you!

Remilia

Battles inside the shop are a no-go, so... outside. Now!

Remilia

Hehe, well fought, Reimu.

Reimu

Satisfied? If today's training is over, I'm gonna―

Remilia

Take a seat, everyone! It's time to learn the principles of maidhood!

Reimu

She's not listening!

Remilia

A true maid must always act appropriately before her master. Politeness, humility, and attentiveness―those are the keys.

Remilia

Along with graceful motions, bows, a modest gaze, and of course, a smile.

Remilia

But most importantly, a maid must be ready to serve her master anytime, any place. That's the skillset I'll teach you.

Remilia

Ready? The moment you put on those uniforms, you're maids too!

Kosuzu

This is so cute! You had these outfits custom-made, right?

Remilia

I did! I had a feeling you'd come, so I ordered them ahead of time.

Akyuu

It's a little embarrassing, but... I do feel more maidlike.

Reimu

Can't believe you're making us wear these.

You look great!

Reimu

...Thanks.

Remilia

All right, things are going to be tough from here on out. I'll train you all to be Elysium maids.

Remilia

Don't worry, it won't hurt.

Kosuzu

Wait, aren't we gonna take a break?

H-How did we wind up here again?

Reimu

It all started at the Scarlet Devil Mansion...

A few days earlier...

Reimu

Nice weather, huh? On a day like this, nothing beats relaxing with a cup of hot tea.

You said it!

Reimu

Here, try one of these yummy cakes.

Hey, have you heard that rumor?

Reimu

What rumor?

The one about all the maids showing up!

Reimu

Maids... I think Aya mentioned it. She said something about it being a scoop.

Reimu

She made me take a newspaper. I didn't read it, though―just used it as kindling for my bath.

Wanna go investigate?!

Reimu

Can't we just relax here?

But we haven't been on any adventures lately!

Reimu

...Fine.

Reimu

Let's go for a walk and take a look.

Reimu

Hmm, not a maid in sight.

Reimu

The rumors must've been fake.

Kasen

Oh, Reimu.

Reimu

Kasen... in a maid outfit? We heard that maids were trending lately.

Kasen

You were keeping up with trends? You?

Reimu

Hey, I wasn't tryna be mean or anything.

Kasen

I'll take all the compliments I can get. But I'm a bit busy right now.

Kasen

Bye, Reimu. Bye, PLAYER!

See ya!

Reimu

Wait. Busy with what?

Kasen

...Hrmm, it's a secret!

Suika

Yo, Reimu, PLAYER!

Hi!

Reimu

You're in a maid outfit, too?

Suika

Heh heh, pretty sweet, right? I'm not lending it to you, though!

Reimu

I don't remember asking. But that's not the worst idea you've ever had...

Suika

You should find one for yourself. I bet you'd look great!

Reimu

Heading somewhere?

Suika

Yep, to the Scarlet―nowhere. I'm heading to the Scarlet Nowhere!

Reimu

I don't like the sound of that... So long as she doesn't cause a fuss.

Reimu

Still, the coincidences are piling up.

Rin

Hey, Reimu.

Reimu

Hello.

Reimu

(A maid outfit. How original.)

(There really are lots of maids around!)

Utsuho

Hi, Reimu!

Yuugi

'Sup, Reimu.

Reimu

So many maids!

Reimu

I thought they were, like, an endangered species.

???

Reimuuu!

???

Hellooo!

Reimu

Kosuzu. Akyuu.

Kosuzu

Looks like maids are super in right now!

Akyuu

I know we're outside the village, but I never expected to see so many of them.

Akyuu

This could be great inspiration for my next book. Want to follow them?

Sounds good!

Kosuzu

Then it's settled! Reimu, hurry up or we'll leave you behind!

Reimu

I'm going too?!

Akyuu

Well, PLAYER's coming, so... chop-chop!

Reimu

H-Hey, wait! Do you have any idea where all the maids are even going?

Kosuzu

Huh.

Kosuzu

The plan is to think about that on the way.

Reimu

So there's no plan.

Akyuu

Well, the Scarlet Devil Mansion was handing out recruitment flyers. They need more maids to make chocolate or something.

Reimu

Yeah, but that doesn't explain why so many maids are wandering around out here.

Akyuu

It's not like we have any other leads.

Reimu

I've got it!

You do?!

Reimu

Forget following them! Let's just march into the mansion and ask!

Kosuzu

Umm, that sounds kinda dangerous.

Reimu

It's fine! The maids were headed in that direction. And the gatekeeper's probably asleep, anyway!

Meiling

What a great day. The main gate is peaceful as can be.

Psst, she's wearing a maid costume.

Reimu

True. But something else is off...

Reimu

Why isn't she asleep?

Meiling

Excuse me? I would never sleep on the job.

Meiling

You being so annoyed actually makes ME annoyed.

Reimu

We have business inside. Will you let us through?

Meiling

You realize my job is to keep intruders out, right?

Reimu

Of course. Now, move!

Meiling

Urgh.

Reimu

I win. Let's go, everyone!

Meiling

Intruders at the main gate. Continuing my patrol on all fours...

Reimu

'Sup, Sakuya?

Sakuya

Hm?

Sakuya

Oh, good evening, Reimu, PLAYER.

Good evening!

Sakuya

What happened to Meiling? ...Actually, forget it. What are you doing here?

Reimu

We came to see Remilia.

Sakuya

Well, you can't.

Sakuya

She's working right now.

Reimu

Working?

Remilia

OK, now let's clean the mansion. I want this place spotless.

Daiyousei

Yes, Miss Remilia.

Remilia

Thank you. Later, I want you on chocolate duty.

Daiyousei

You got it!

Kosuzu

Is Miss Remilia... helping to clean the mansion?

Akyuu

If she is, we better check Hell. You know, in case it's frozen over.

Remilia

There, that should do it. Now, to attend to the aspiring maids.

Remilia

Allow me to introduce myself.

Remilia

I'm Remilia Scarlet, the mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

Remilia

Wait, it's you, Reimu.

Remilia

Are you here to become a maid? This is rather unexpected.

Reimu

What?! I don't wanna be―

Reimu

Wait...

Reimu

That's right. I DO wanna be a maid!

R-Reimu?!

You really want to be a maid?!

Reimu

I'm just playing along. I'm sure we'll figure it out as we go!

Remilia

So you want to be a maid too, Reimu? Sorry, but the Scarlet Devil Mansion isn't hiring anymore.

Reimu

Wait, at least hear me out!

Remilia

I've heard enough already. I'm very busy, you know?

Remilia

Besides, I can tell you're lying.

Reimu

No, I'm― ...Ah, who am I kidding? I'm lying.

Remilia

Sakuya, please see our guests out.

Sakuya

As you wish, milady.

Meiling

Huh? You're back pretty fast.

Meiling

Don't tell me you got kicked out?

Sakuya

They should never have been allowed in.

Meiling

G-Gotta go!

Reimu

Well, that wasn't a total bust.

It wasn't?

Reimu

We found out Remilia's working as a maid in her own mansion. And what's weirder, the gatekeeper was awake.

Reimu

There's definitely something going on. But if no one's willing to talk, we might be at a dead end.

Sakuya

...Perhaps I could help you.

Kosuzu & Akyuu

For real?

Sakuya

You came because you saw Aya's article, yes? It was indeed based on the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

Reimu

I see, I see.

Reimu

(So the rumors were true.)

Reimu

But what gives? Remilia threw us out, and now you're helping us?

Sakuya

She ordered me to escort you out. Which I did. Beyond that, I'm free to help whomever I choose.

Sakuya

To tell you the truth, all these new maids have been a real headache. But you still don't know the source.

Reimu

What sauce? Is this some kinda condiment incident?

Sakuya

I'm afraid I can't tell you. Not until you've earned my trust.

Reimu

And how're we supposed to do that?

Kosuzu

Duh! With a battle!

Sakuya

That was my line.

Sakuya

Maybe my knives weren't sharp enough.

Sakuya

I was just starting to enjoy myself. Care for another round?

Reimu

You bet!

Reimu

Is what I'd like to say. But now's not the time. Besides, don't you have tasks from your master?

Sakuya

I suppose I do. Thank you for reminding me.

Sakuya

As promised, I'll tell you what's going on. The source of this increase in maids...

Sakuya

Is Teahouse Elysium. It's located―

Reimu

Teahouse Whatever, got it! We'll go check it out!

Sakuya

She really doesn't waste time...

Sakuya

I'm afraid I can't help you beyond this point. Reimu, PLAYER, I'm counting on the two of you.

Kosuzu

So this is Teahouse Elysium. Everyone in the village seems to know about it.

Akyuu

It looks like a pretty stylish cafe.

Hellooo!

Reimu

PLAYER, what're you doing?!

Remilia

New customers! ...I spoke too soon. You don't want to be maids, do you?

Reimu

(This is exactly what happened at the mansion. Time to play along.)

Reimu

You guessed it. We wanna be maids!

Remilia

You're hired!

Reimu

That was fast!

Psst, wasn't that a bit too easy?

Reimu

Yeah. But this is our chance to go undercover.

And find out the truth about all the new maids!

Reimu

(Right, Sakuya told us the source of the maid boom was this Teahouse Elysium.)

Reimu

(No doubt it's a medium incident. And we've become maids to investigate it.)

Remilia

Great job today! On your way out, you can take a bunch of chocolate!

Kosuzu

Thank you, Head Maid!

Akyuu

Thank you, Head Maid!

Remilia

Love the attitude!

Remilia

Now, will you join me in the staff room?

Remilia

There's something I want to talk about.

Remilia

Welcome to Elysium's staff room.

Kosuzu

Staff room?

Akyuu

I guess it's off-limits to the customers. This must be where we have meetings, eat meals, that sort of thing.

Reimu

Huh.

Reimu

So what did you want to talk about?

Remilia

Orientation. We jumped straight into drills and greetings, but we need to go over the ground we skipped.

Reimu

Makes sense.

Remilia

First, I'll give you this. An Elysium stamp card.

Stamp card?

Remilia

Yes. You can use them here at Teahouse Elysium or at Coffeehouse Elysium.

Remilia

Coffeehouse Elysium actually predates us. We're like its sister cafe.

Remilia

It's a long story, but this establishment is actually run by a maid from another world.

Who is it?

Remilia

Me!

Remilia

In fact, all of the staff here were originally from other worlds.

Remilia

But we've been extra busy lately, so we hired new maids. Lots of them. Things are really getting out of hand!

Reimu

That's why you put a recruitment ad in the paper. People must've seen it and decided to sign up.

Reimu

If that's all this is, then there's no medium incident.

Remilia

Not so fast. This IS a medium incident.

Reimu

Huh?

Remilia

It's not so much that maid numbers are increasing. It's that EVERYONE wants to be one.

Remilia

The reason for that?

Remilia

Because anyone who becomes a maid gets stronger.

Remilia

Though honestly, I'm just thrilled to have more staff.

Reimu

How exactly do the maids get stronger? And why are you telling us this?

Remilia

As part of your orientation. Weren't you listening before?

Remilia

Hello, Cirno. Taking a break?

Reimu

...Cirno?

Cirno

Lalalala, ice is so nice, lalalala! ...Oh, Remilia! These guys new recruits?

Cirno

Welcome to Elysium!

Cirno

Wait... It's just Reimu!

Reimu

Rude. So you're a maid too, huh?

Cirno

Yep, it's super fun! And Elysium's system makes everything feel super rewarding!

Cirno

Wanna try some tea I brewed? I can even teach you the proper maid way to make it.

Kosuzu

For real?! Yes, please!

Akyuu

I dunno... Tea made by a fairy?

Cirno

Relax! I promise it's delicious!

Cirno

(Heh heh. I'll use my ability to serve her super cold tea!)

Cirno

Sorry for the wait. Here's your tea.

Reimu

Thanks, Cirno.

Kosuzu

(Wow, her motions are so elegant. She doesn't even seem like a fairy.)

Cirno

Would you like hot tea or iced tea?

Reimu

Hmm, iced. But wait, that teapot's hot, no?

Cirno

No problem. Watch closely, dear customer.

*freezy pour*

Akyuu

I-Is she cooling the tea as she pours?

Reimu

It's one thing to blast out a bunch of cold air... Her control's impressive.

She's nothing like regular Cirno!

Reimu

She's on a whole different level.

Cirno

Please enjoy.

Akyuu

This is delicious. It's not just cold. It has a sort of mellowness.

Remilia

Impressive, Cirno. Your reputation as a top maid will soon spread.

Cirno

Thanks!

Remilia

Do you see what I was talking about now, Reimu? Cirno has clearly gotten stronger.

Remilia

With the right training, you too can unlock your power as a maid. It might not even take very long.

Remilia

I'm taking full advantage of this medium incident and the way it powers up maids.

Reimu

Not gonna lie, I don't feel any stronger yet.

Remilia

That's because you're not utilizing the incident's system.

Reimu

System?

???

New maids are so impatient these days. If you want results, you have to earn them.

Tsukasa

With that attitude, you'll never be a true maid.

Remilia

Tsukasa...

Tsukasa

Seems like you're giving them a little too much attention, Miss Remilia. They need to learn independence.

Tsukasa

That's a defining characteristic of a good maid, is it not?

Remilia

I'm the Head Maid here, Tsukasa. You should show some respect.

Tsukasa

Even if you're the Head Maid, we're of the same rank now. I'm showing the perfect amount of respect.

Tsukasa

Good day, new maids.

Tsukasa

I look forward to watching your journey toward becoming true maids.

Tsukasa

And by true maids... I of course mean housekeepers.

Reimu

True maids? Housekeepers? I don't understand.

Tsukasa

And you don't need to. It's not like you'll ever become true maids.

Tsukasa

Now, you'll have to excuse me.

Reimu

Hold it, Tsukasa. You're hiding something, aren't you?

Tsukasa

What a loaded question. Everyone's got a secret or two, don't they?

Tsukasa

Including me. After all, I'm a fox.

Tsukasa

What about you, dear Reimu? You're undercover right now, are you not? Always trying to solve everyone's problems.

Tsukasa

I shouldn't be surprised. After all, you're the Hakurei shrine maiden.

Reimu

You should be grateful. We all have problems. Even foxes.

Tsukasa

Touche.

Tsukasa

You really are something special. I can't tell what you're up to.

Tsukasa

But you and I are far from equals. If you're here investigating something...

Tsukasa

I hope it's not on behalf of some reporter. Even you're above being an errand girl.

Reimu

You're going the right way for a battle.

Tsukasa

Oh my.

Tsukasa

Looks like this one needs more training, Miss Remilia. The rules state she's not even allowed to talk to me.

Tsukasa

This is Elysium, is it not?

Reimu

Sounds like you're running away.

Tsukasa

I'm not running. Though I am good at hiding.

Remilia

That's enough, both of you. Tsukasa, be mindful of your position.

Tsukasa

Fair point.

Remilia

And I'll have a stern talk with Reimu myself.

Reimu

For what―?!

Remilia

Quiet. It's punishment time. For all of you.

Akyuu

U-Us too?

Kosuzu

Urgh, these joint punishments are the worst.

Remilia

Phew... Have you cooled off yet? I'm not normally one to battle during the day.

Reimu

Why did you get in my way?

Remilia

It was for your own good. Tsukasa is basically the top maid.

Remilia

With things the way they are now, you wouldn't have stood a chance against her.

Reimu

You mean if I train as a maid, I can beat her?

Remilia

Why else do you think I invited you to the staff room?

Remilia

You have the potential to master maidship. When that time comes, you'll be able to defeat Tsukasa.

Reimu

Why help us? You're the Head Maid of Elysium, aren't you?

Remilia

I'm simply a hired manager. I don't take sides.

Remilia

I don't really care who defeats who.

Remilia

To tell you the truth, my relationship with her is... complicated. Do I need to say more?

Reimu

What do you think, PLAYER?

It doesn't seem like she's lying.

Reimu

Agreed. Besides, standing around talking isn't gonna get us anywhere.

Reimu

But I do have one question. If we beat Tsukasa, will this medium incident be resolved?

Remilia

Based on the system... yes. If you did it right now, it'd be inconvenient for me, though.

Reimu

How so?

Remilia

The cafe is busier than ever.

Kosuzu

THAT'S the reason?

Akyuu

For a vampire, she's surprisingly pragmatic.

Reimu

Fine, we're in. What do you want us to do?

Remilia

There's an order to things. So first...

Remilia

Master your maid mannerisms!

Reimu

"Master maid mannerisms," huh? For now, it sounds like we're just supposed to wait here.

Kosuzu

So someone's gonna come to us?

Akyuu

I guess so.

???

Hehe... Hehehehe. Want to learn maid mannerisms?

Yoshika

Then I'll teach 'em to you!

Reimu

Yoshika?!

Yoshika

Yep, it's me! Got a problem with that?!

Reimu

Not really. Did Remilia send you?

Yoshika

Pfft, I'm not an errand girl. I'm a maid! Here to teach you all about Elysium's system.

Reimu

Right... Remilia mentioned that.

Reimu

I just didn't think our teacher would be a zombie.

Yoshika

Who said I was a teacher? I'm a maid!

Yoshika

It's Zombie Maid's Super Exciting Elysium Explanation Time!

Reimu

Yippee... *unenthused clapping*

Kosuzu & Akyuu

*enthused clapping*

Yoshika

As I'm sure you know, there are all kinds of maids. Well, I'm gonna go over them all!

Yoshika

First up, the housemaid.

Yoshika

A jack-of-all-trades maid without a set specialty.

Yoshika

Next, the laundry maid.

Yoshika

They're in charge of, you guessed it, laundry!

Yoshika

A parlor maid deals with customers.

Yoshika

That mostly means serving cafe guests. They do other stuff too, but they're hospitality experts!

Yoshika

Then there's the scullery maid.

Yoshika

That's me! My main jobs are washing dishes and prepping food.

Yoshika

Those are the standard maids. The ones with official titles.

Reimu

Got it. The titles make things pretty easy to understand.

Yoshika

And next, the advanced rank: the ladies' maid.

Yoshika

They're also called "all-but-true maids." There are only four of them at Elysium.

Yoshika

First is Remilia. She's the Head Maid.

Yoshika

Standing alongside her is Tsukasa. She's the top maid, aka, the strongest.

Yoshika

And there are two more, but they're not here today! They're important to Elysium, though.

Reimu

OK, so Tsukasa's the top maid. But who are those last two?

Yoshika

You'll find out eventually!

Yoshika

There's an even higher rank called housekeeper, but nobody's reached it yet.

Reimu

Tsukasa mentioned that. But if she's the top maid, doesn't that make her a housekeeper?

Yoshika

Nope! A housekeeper has to be a perfect maid. And Tsukasa... Well, she's not there yet!

Yoshika

But between you and me, I think she'll get there someday.

Yoshika

If you want to be all-but-true maids, you first have to master every standard maid job.

(I bet Reimu thinks this is gonna be boring.)

Reimu

This is gonna be boring.

Yoshika

I've heard about other maid ranks, but that's all the ones Elysium uses.

Can you tell us about the other ranks?

Yoshika

Nope!

Yoshika

From what I hear, Elysium's system selects your rank based on your skillset.

Yoshika

But no matter what, you still have to train. There's no shortcut to maidhood.

Reimu

Fine. Lower-ranked maids can't talk to all-but-true maids, right?

Yoshika

Right. But you're allowed to team up with equally ranked maids.

Reimu

So basically, if we become all-but-true maids, nobody can interfere while we battle Tsukasa.

Reimu

And if we defeat her, we resolve the medium incident.

Yoshika

That's... mostly right. But I don't recommend forcing your maid rank up.

Reimu

Why not?

Yoshika

It could put your lives in danger. I'm already dead, so I'm fine.

Reimu

I'll be fine, too. I'm still alive after everything I've been through.

Yoshika

Makes sense.

Yoshika

OK, let's throw you a welcome party!

Yoshika

I'm so happy to have more maid buddies! I'm sure the others are too. This is gonna be great!

Yoshika

Just wait and see!

Reimu

Brrr... Why are winter mornings always so cold?

Reimu

I just wanna stay in today.

Nope, it's laundry day!

Nope, it's cooking day!

Nope, it's cleaning day!

Reimu

Wow, you're kinda strict. But I suppose if you insist―

Yoshika

Good morning!

Reimu

Yoshika?! G-Good morning.

Good morning, Yoshika!

Yoshika

C'mon, we're leaving soon. Hurry up and get ready!

Reimu

Where are we going?

Yoshika

To the welcome party. The guest list is still a secret, though.

Reimu

So the party's at Elysium. But why this early?

Yoshika

Because Remilia said we could use it before opening.

Yoshika

In we go!

Yoshika

Hey, everyone. The guests of honor are here!

Yoshika

This is Reimu. She's gonna be working with us as a maid. Give her a warm welcome!

A-And I'm PLAYER!

Nice to meet you all!

Rumia

You're the new maid? You're not just a shrine maiden wearing an apron?

Raiko

Is PLAYER supposed to be a maid, too? She's cute, but that alone's not gonna cut it.

Reimu

This is a little rich coming from me... but this isn't exactly a warm welcome.

Y-Yeah.

It sounds like they're annoyed with us already.

Cirno

We promised to play together, right? And we all know what maids do to have fun.

Yoshika

Do we?

Cirno

We do! And quit butting in, you're spoiling the vibes!

Psst, is this really a welcome party?

Reimu

Well, it's nothing like the ones I've been to before...

Rumia

OK, let's get this party started. You're not afraid of a few bullets, are you?

Reimu

Afraid? Pah! C'mon, we'll take you all on at once!

Reimu

(They're tougher than I thought. This might not be so easy.)

Raiko

Hehe, not bad. But the welcome party's just getting started!

Cirno

Surround 'em! There's more fun to be had!

(There's no escape!)

Reimu

(Feels like they're still holding back. Things are about to get rough...)

Cirno

All together now...

Rumia, Raiko & Cirno

Welcome to Elysium!

Reimu

Umm... what?

Yoshika

Now that we're all acquainted, it's time for the regular welcome party.

Kosuzu & Akyuu

Good morning!

Reimu

Kosuzu, Akyuu. You're here, too?

Kosuzu

Cirno invited us. You know, since we're also starting as maids.

Kosuzu

Everyone seems so nice. They even threw a party for us.

Akyuu

Agreed. I was expecting a rougher greeting. I'm actually quite relieved.

Reimu

Haha, yeah...

Yoshika

Once again, welcome to Elysium, everyone!

Yoshika

OK, everyone! Let the fun party begin! A toast to our new maids...

Yoshika

Cheers!

Maids

Cheers!

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

Yay!

Yoshika

The ladies' maids must have high hopes for you all, because they're coming, too.

Yoshika

That means we get to use the fancy tea leaves!

Rumia

So Reimu, PLAYER. I hear you're the promising new recruits?

Reimu

Rumia! Thanks for the welcome earlier.

Rumia

Haha, it was fun, right?

Rumia

I'm looking forward to working with you.

Rumia

But why become maids? I thought you were supposed to be a shrine maiden, Reimu.

Reimu

*gulp*

Raiko

What a silly question, Rumia. Becoming a maid is the most effective way to power up!

Reimu

Phew...

Raiko

Besides, all she does is laze around at the shrine.

Reimu

Huh?!

Cirno

You're actually right for a change. I was thinking the same thing!

Cirno

If you keep this up, you can become a housemaid like me! And there's nothing better than that!

Yoshika

Hey. I'm in charge of training Reimu and PLAYER. Everyone needs to listen to me.

Cirno

How dare you interrupt me?!

Yoshika

You wanna go?! Fire as many bullets as you like at me, I'm already dead!

Raiko

The welcome party's over, OK? Don't go wrecking the place before opening. The manager will get mad.

Cirno

Hrrm... Let's take this outside!

Yoshika

My thoughts exactly!

Reimu

Seriously, aren't you supposed to be good at cooling off?!

Cirno

Urgh...

Rumia

C-Cirno and Yoshika...

Raiko

Are on the floor.

Kosuzu

What's going on?

Akyuu

It's not exactly rare for them to lose to Miss Reimu, is it?

???

I heard the new recruits had potential. Maybe it's true.

???

Does that mean we're not needed anymore? No way, right?

Reimu

Satono and Mai?

Yoshika

They're the other two ladies' maids at Elysium.

Satono

We may have those titles, but we don't actually work here.

Mai

You don't need to worry about us. But it's nice to meet you.

Reimu

They're ladies' maids, huh?

Kosuzu

Whoa, talk about charismatic.

Akyuu

They don't feel like the Satono and Mai I know.

Suwako

Hey, you two! Quit running off!

Suwako

Phew, finally caught you. ...Are these the newbies?

Suwako

I know I'm not a maid, but I want to chat with everyone, too.

Suwako

That's OK, right?

Yoshika

It's fine! The more, the merrier.

Suwako

Thanks, Yoshika.

Yoshika

I'm dead, but I still get embarrassed.

Reimu

S-Suwako?!

Suwako

You know me? I'm honored. Let me introduce myself to the others! I'm Suwako Moriya!

Suwako

I help keep the maids here at Elysium organized. I'm kinda like a maid assistant.

Suwako

Anyway, nice to meet you!

And you!

Satono

Still, titled maids aren't supposed to lose to a newbie.

Mai

If Cirno was in top form, she would've stomped Reimu. Our blessing is too powerful!

Reimu

Your blessing? So the maids get their power from you?

Satono

You really wanna know? Should we tell her, Mai?

Mai

Maybe. She is kinda close to ranking up...

Suwako

No, she's not. She's still as green as they come.

Suwako

Then again, she DID beat Cirno... She might end up changing Elysium's whole pecking order.

Suwako

A real game changer.

Reimu

Game changer? What's that?

Suwako

It means you're super cool!

Kosuzu & Akyuu

That doesn't explain anything!

Satono

You'll have to figure it out yourselves, then. After all...

Mai

That's why you signed up to be Elysium's newest maids, right?

Reimu

Remilia's the Head Maid, and she already admitted it. Something bad's going on here.

Mai

Quite the opposite. Raise your maid rank, and we'll tell you more.

Satono

I might even give you a lap pillow.

Mai & Satono

Or not!

Reimu

So... anyone know how we can raise our maid ranks?

Kosuzu

I run a book rental shop, so I know how to deal with customers. But serving guests as a maid is totally different.

Akyuu

It sounds kind of fun, though. Let's give it a try.

Reimu

PLAYER, got a sec?

What's up?

Reimu

Remember what Yoshika said?

Yoshika

That's... mostly right. But I don't recommend forcing your maid rank up.

Reimu

Why not?

Yoshika

It could put your lives in danger. I'm already dead, so I'm fine.

Reimu

Maybe we should warn the others.

Good idea.

Yoshika

Hey, everyone!

Reimu

Yoshika!

Yoshika

It's official. I'm in charge of your training. Let's raise your maid power together!

Reimu

Maid power? Don't you mean maid rank?

Yoshika

You need maid power to raise your maid rank. Think of it like exp.

Yoshika

A high maid rank can be deadly. But if you raise your maid power properly, you'll be fine!

Kosuzu

D-Deadly?

Akyuu

As in, deadly for us?

Yoshika

Don't sweat it! If you do good maid work, your maid power will go up in a flash. All you need is motivation!

Reimu

Then just say that at the start. You scared them.

Yoshika

Heh heh, but fear can be a good motivator. When it comes to maid mannerisms, there are no half-measures.

Reimu

Maid mannerisms, huh? Remilia mentioned them, too.

Yoshika

They include service, etiquette, and kindness―all things you'll need to work at Elysium!

Reimu

Not gonna lie, kindness is pretty vague.

Kosuzu

So basically, we just need to focus on being good Elysium employees?

Akyuu

I think I can do that...

Reimu

One question.

Yoshika

Shoot.

Reimu

Why did you start working here? Was it to get stronger?

Yoshika

Why're you asking that?

Reimu

Just curious.

Yoshika

I got randomly transported to this world with Tsukasa. There's no way back, so I'm staying here at Elysium.

Yoshika

Honestly, I need to get back home quick. But I can't.

Yoshika

And if I get better as a maid, I'm sure Seiga will be happy! So for now, I'm working here.

Yoshika

Come to think of it, my situation might be different from Cirno and the others.

Reimu

Huh. That's a more respectable reason than I expected.

Yoshika

Rude. It's only natural for a maid to consider her master. Now we've cleared that up, it's time to get to work.

Yoshika

Elysium is open for business.

Yoshika

Not that it matters to us. We're on prep duty!

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

We're ready!

Yoshika

That's what I like to hear. First, I'll teach you how to wash dishes! We still have plates left over from the welcome party!

Are you OK to demonstrate alone?

Yoshika

I do this all the time. Normally, someone would be next to me, but I'm a legit maid!

Yoshika

Whoa, the plates are so slippy...

*SMASH*

Yoshika

Oops!

Yoshika

On second thought, you shouldn't let a jiang shi carry plates alone!

Kosuzu

Umｍ... Yoshika's the instructor here, right?

Akyuu

Now we know why she needs someone next to her.

Reimu

(Sounds like she's blaming us...)

???

Hey!

Futo

Who is responsible for this?!

Reimu

Futo?!

Futo

Not thou again, Yoshika Miyako! New maids, did you think not to stop her?!

Reimu

Uhh, I really don't think you can put this one on us.

Futo

Those who break plates are undeserving of mercy! Outside, now!

Yoshika

Maid tip! There's no fighting allowed in the kitchen!

So that's why we have to go outside...

Futo

Shut thy lips!

Futo

You new recruits are more powerful than I perceived. To think I would be beaten...

I feel kinda bad.

Yoshika

No, this is all my fault. I tried my best, but maybe I'm not cut out for teaching people.

Yoshika

Sorry. *sad zombie noises*

Suwako

What's all the fuss this time?

Futo

My apologies. In my haste to deliver retribution, it appears I mayhaps have gone too far.

Suwako

Let me guess, Yoshika messed up, and you got mad.

Futo

Correct. She broketh a plate, and I snapped.

Suwako

Yeah, that's fair. But it's gonna be hard to get back to work until we clear the air...

Suwako

I know! Why don't you help them out?

Futo

Me? How?

Suwako

Dishwashing is all about coordinating with the cooks, right? And you've been worried about Yoshika, no?

Suwako

The other day, you said there's this maid trying her best, even though she looks like she'll break plates and―

Futo

Shh! What was I supposed to do? Stand by as innocent plates suffer?

Futo

Alas, it seems my best option is to help you. As a non-maid, I have some unique insights into the craft.

Futo

You want to raise your maid ranks, yes? In that case, I'll teach you all I know.

The next day...

Futo

Good, you're here.

Futo

To raise your maid power is your goal, correct?

Futo

Rejoice. I have found the perfect people to help.

Kosuzu

You mean you found us maid teachers?

Yoshika

Hrmm...

Akyuu

Yoshika's our teacher, though.

Futo

Yes. And that shan't change.

Futo

One or two mistakes cannot undo her appointment to that role. Not that I have the authority to strip it from her.

Reimu

Speaking of roles, do you actually work here or what?

Futo

Good point. I have neglected to introduce myself properly.

Futo

I'm Mononobe no Futo. For reasons I shan't go into, I'm staying here at Elysium.

Futo

I am the head chef. The kitchen is my domain.

???

Well, here I am. But... since when did chefs train maids?

Futo

A superior takes responsibility for her subordinates' messes.

Remilia

Very true.

Reimu

Remilia?!

Futo

But why art thou alone? I asked Tsukasa to be here, too.

Remilia

You seriously thought she'd show up? She doesn't owe us anything. Besides, she's not a typical maid.

Futo

I'm not aware of all that. But Suwako asked me to help these new maids.

Futo

Furthermore, I owe these girls. And further-furthermore, I can't afford to lose any more plates.

Futo

So I asked thee here to teach them. What is it they ought to do next?

Remilia

Maids can carry all kinds of things. By bearing a heavy load, they assist their master... and become one in the process.

Futo

Why dost thou speak in riddles?

Reimu

Yeah, speak plainly.

Remilia

This is important. It needs to be said right. For a maid to be a maid, she must be in sync with her master.

Remilia

Elysium's maids value such ideals. Those ideals are what give form to their mannerisms.

Kosuzu

I have no idea what she's saying!

Akyuu

...I think I might.

Yoshika

Zzzzz...

Remilia

Want to raise your maid power? You need maid mannerisms. The exact methodology has been refined over centuries.

Remilia

So study hard. Learn it, practice it, put it into use. After that, it's all about repetition.

Reimu

If I'm picking up what you're putting down... you want us to learn how to carry things?

Remilia

Correct.

Reimu

I was right!

Futo

Thou art sharper than I thought.

Remilia

Your training starts now.

Futo

Thou must serve right-handed customers from the left. And always clear empty crockery from the right.

Futo

Drinks are to be served from the right. And ensure the dish faces the guests. Yes, like that.

Yoshika

What if the guest is dead?

Futo

Even if they are dead, they should still have a dominant hand. Observation is the key to good manners.

Futo

In fact, there can be no manners without observation. If thou treatest all guests the same, none will appreciate thee.

Thanks, Futo, that's great advice!

Futo

Surprised? A head chef must know the basics of service. I even serve important guests myself sometimes!

Futo

Much of what I know can be applied to maidhood.

(She's really impressive!)

Yoshika

Futo...

Futo

What is it, Yoshika?

Yoshika

Teach me more. I want to study and become a proper maid.

Yoshika

That's the path I want to follow.

Futo

Hm, that's a fine attitude. Everyone, to me. Let us review what we have learned.

Futo

Are you ready?

Everyone

Yeah!

A few days later...

Kosuzu

Welcome! This way to your seat.

Akyuu

You have a reservation, I see. I'll take your coat for you.

Yoshika

Here's ya tea― I-I mean, I brought your tea, madam!

Yoshika

(Yes! I said it right!)

Yoshika

Please enjoy!

Futo

Hmm, impressive. Thou art improving.

Yoshika

You ain't seen nothing yet. I'm gonna wash dishes like my zombie life depends on it!

Yoshika

Hyah hyah hyah... Dead Maid Dishwashing!

You're so fast!

Yoshika

I'm a scullery maid! Washing dishes is what I do best.

Kosuzu

Still, there are piles and piles of them. Are you OK doing them alone?

Yoshika

The dead don't get tired. Trust me, this is what I live for.

Akyuu

So... are you alive or dead? Because I'm getting mixed signals.

We can't just stand here while she's working so hard!

Reimu

You're right. Let's help.

Kosuzu

Oh! After all this dishwashing, I finally figured out how to get the grease off properly!

Reimu

Why don't we split up roles? One person washes, one person rinses. It's faster, and it'd probably save water too.

Akyuu

Got to say, you're pretty good at this, Miss Reimu.

Reimu

Who do you think cleans up after all the parties?

Futo

(A praiseworthy team. They seek to improve the workflow while raising each other's spirits.)

Futo

Very well, I shall assist you.

Yoshika

For real? C'mere, I'll show you how to get the plates sparkly clean!

Futo

Please do.

Kosuzu

We got done so quick working together.

Kosuzu

What's next?

Akyuu

Well, there don't seem to be any guests. Cleaning, maybe?

Futo

Nay, let us take a break. Burnout must be avoided. Unless thou hast true desire to keep working?

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

...

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

Let's have tea!

Reimu

Wow, so you came here from another world, too?

Futo

Yes. Though not on purpose. I found myself lost and alone, but Remilia invited me to stay at Elysium.

Futo

By fortune's grace, I already had some kitchen experience.

Kosuzu

Everyone here has their own story, huh?

Futo

Mine is not so dramatic. I endeavor only to enjoy my time here to the fullest.

Futo

Now, if you will allow me to change the subject, there is something which I wish to discuss.

Akyuu

Oh yeah?

Futo

I am most pleased with all your efforts. Thus, I allowed you to take this tea break.

Futo

In other words, you have gained ample experience. Maid experience.

Reimu

What're you getting at?

Futo

I took it upon myself to recommend you for the maid exam. I am not privy to the scoring system, but I have faith in you.

Yoshika

Wow! You really think they're ready?!

Futo

I do indeed.

Yoshika

Yay! I know this doesn't involve me, but...

Yoshika

I'm still so happy!

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

We are, too!

Suwako

You're already taking the maid exam? That's awesome!

Suwako

Now, you each received a recommendation from Mononobe no Futo. The test will be conducted by... me.

Suwako

The judges will be Satono Nishida and Mai Teireida.

Mai & Satono

Got it.

Reimu

This is getting kinda intense.

Suwako

Hey, no talking.

Reimu

S-Sorry.

Suwako

The exam will be a dishwashing battle. Do I have any volunteers to be their opponent?

*silence*

Suwako

Not a single volunteer?

Yoshika

I'll do it!

Suwako

Excellent.

Kosuzu

Yoshika?!

Suwako

OK, let's move to the exam site.

Kosuzu

We're not doing it here?

Suwako

Maids are always judged by others, right? Naturally, the exam needs an audience.

Suwako

Besides, it's more exciting this way!

Suwako

C'mon, let's go!

Kosuzu

Whoa, the crowd's huge...

Akyuu

I've never washed dishes with an audience before!

Reimu

(Do they really not have anything better to do?)

Yoshika

Let the dishwashing battle... BEGIN!

Yoshika

Argh, I lost! I'm so happy my students have surpassed me.

Futo

(Yoshika, too, hath surpassed her former self.)

Reimu

Does that mean we passed?

Suwako

Not yet! You still have to do the serving test!

Suwako

Did Remilia not tell you about it?

Reimu

I think she mentioned something about carrying stuff...

Suwako

Sounds like you're totally up to speed. Let's get started!

Kosuzu

Your meal, madam.

Kosuzu

(Serve right-handed guests from the left. Always clear from the right.)

Satono

Thanks.

Akyuu

The tea and cake you ordered.

Akyuu

(Drinks from the right. And make sure the food faces the guest... right?)

Reimu

Care for a blanket, madam?

Reimu

(Observation is key. Have to treat all guests individually.)

Suwako

Oh, thanks very much.

Phew, we did it.

Kosuzu

It's over now, right? The judges are tallying up the scores over there.

Akyuu

This is so nerve-wracking...

Reimu

Well, we did our best. All we can do now is wait.

Satono

And now, what you've all been waiting for...

Mai

The results!

Mai & Satono

*drum roll noises*

Mai & Satono

Congrats!

Mai & Satono

You all passed!

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

Yay!

Satono

Your performances during the exam were incredible. You might be the best new maids we've ever seen.

Satono

Maybe we should let you take a higher-level exam. That would line up perfectly with our goal.

(What goal?)

Reimu

...

Mai

You're right, Satono. You're so smart.

Mai

Let's help them get their ranks up!

Akyuu

How exactly?

Mai

Normally, passing that exam would make you parlor maids or laundry maids...

Mai

But we're gonna help you rank straight up to housemaids! Go, go, go!

Kosuzu

Wh-Whoa!

Akyuu

I can feel power welling up inside me!

Reimu

So ranking up as a maid really DOES give you power. The rumors were true.

Reimu

But what's Elysium's "system" all about? Is it what's causing the medium incident?

Satono

Can't answer that.

Suwako

Then I will instead. The system is a part of the incident.

Reimu

Why are you the one explaining?

Suwako

Sometimes being an outsider gives you more freedom. You agree, right? Yeah, I'm sure you do!

Reimu

...

Suwako

The reason there are so many new maids is because everyone's after maid power.

Suwako

Even without an official master, anyone can be a maid at Elysium. Even the wannabes.

Suwako

And those wannabe maids can get super powerful so long as their rank goes up.

Reimu

That's it? That's the medium incident? I'm not really buying it.

Suwako

Well, this isn't your run-of-the-mill incident. There are lots of factors at play.

Suwako

Isn't that right, you two?

Satono

What should we do, Mai?

Mai

I was about to ask you.

Satono

We're keeping our mouths shut.

Reimu

Which means you know more than you're letting on.

Kosuzu

Relax. Our ranks jumped up, so why don't we celebrate?

Good idea!

Kosuzu

All we need is a place to do it.

Kosuzu

Welcome to the Hakurei Shrine Housemaid Promotion Party!

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

Congrats to us!

Yay!

Kosuzu

We really did it. I was so nervous for the exam, but everyone was amazing!

Akyuu

I never would've guessed we'd skip ranks straight to housemaids.

Reimu

It'd be nice if we could keep ranking up this smoothly.

I wonder how we get to Tsukasa's rank...

Reimu

She's a ladies' maid, right?

Kosuzu

Guess there must be another maid exam.

Akyuu

Maybe we should ask Futo tomorrow.

Reimu

No point worrying about it now. Today's for celebrating!

Kosuzu

Why don't we brew some tea? You know, since we worked so hard to remember how.

Reimu

Honestly, black tea's kinda growing on me.

Can I brew it?

Kosuzu

Aww, I wanna do it!

Akyuu

No, I'll do it.

Yoshika

I'm brewing the tea!

Reimu

Yoshika?!

Yoshika

When I heard you all passed, I just had to come and say congrats!

Yoshika

Since this is your celebration, Scullery Maid Yoshika will serve you all!

Yoshika

Here goes!

The next day...

Futo

I see. So your desire is to become ladies' maids?

Reimu

Yep. We've come this far, now we wanna go a little further.

Futo

I admire thy motivation. But I must tell thee an unfortunate truth.

Futo

Past housemaid, there is no clear standard for ranking up. Alas, the exam may never even be held.

Futo

I fear my recommendation would do little to help thee this time.

Then what do we do?

Futo

All I am able to say is this...

Futo

Do not succumb to doubt. Continue to master maidhood, and I am certain a path will open eventually.

Kosuzu

Yeah, that makes sense.

Akyuu

Besides, ranking up to housemaids is a big deal. We should make the most of it.

Yoshika

A housemaid is like a mix of all the lower-ranked maids.

Yoshika

They're part parlor maid, part laundry maid, and part scullery maid.

Yoshika

Think of 'em like a jack-of-all-trades! Let's get training!

Yoshika

Hyah hyah hyah! Dead Maid Dishwashing!

Kosuzu

Right! Let's split it up―one person washes, one person rinses!

Akyuu

I'll be on drying duty.

Reimu

Hey!

Reimu

Why're we washing dishes again?! This is exactly the same as before!

Reimu

Not to mention...

Reimu

This is the Scarlet Devil Mansion!

???

Housemaids or not, you're still newbies. It's only natural that you'd get sent to help out at other places.

???

Were you expecting top positions straight away?!

Reimu

Who's there?!

Kosuzu

And why?!

Cirno

It's me! I came to make sure you were sticking to your assignment!

Yoshika

It's your assignment, too.

Cirno

Sh-Shut up! While I'm here, I'm gonna train you all up! Don't forget, I've been doing this longer than you!

Cirno

It's my job to whip you into shape. So starting now...

Cirno

I'm gonna work you to the bone!

Kosuzu

OK, let's refocus and keep going.

Akyuu

Looks like lunch was fried food. Greasy plates are the worst.

Cirno

Quit stomping around! I don't care if you're cleaning, you need to move gracefully!

Cirno

And that plate's still greasy! Rub your finger across it. If it's slippery, give it another scrub!

Next, we have to make tea for the mansion maids.

Reimu

Isn't that gonna be, like, a hundred cups?! And what's Sakuya playing at?!

Remilia

Sakuya! Is this oil painting recyclable? Or does it go in the regular trash can?

Sakuya

Milady, stop!

Reimu

If the reason Sakuya can't help with the incident is 'cause she's stuck babysitting Remilia, I'm going to be mad.

That... sounds like the reason.

Cirno

What's wrong? Don't know how to brew tea?

Cirno

Fine, I'll show ya!

Reimu

Nah, we're good.

Cirno

First, warm the teapot and cups.

Akyuu

She's not listening, huh?

Cirno

Next, put the tea leaves in the pot.

Kosuzu

She's really trying to teach us.

Cirno

No questions! Just watch. A good maid always studies the maids around her. That's how I managed to power up.

Reimu

No one asked a question.

Cirno

Why not?! This is complicated stuff!

Cirno

You might've skipped ranks to become housemaids, but you're nothing but newbies to me!

Reimu

Talking to you is exhausting...

Akyuu

OK, OK. How can we get you to see us as legit housemaids?

Cirno

Beat me in a dishwashing battle!

Reimu

What've bullets got to do with dishwashing?!

Akyuu

Brr, so cold.

Cirno

Dummy. A true housemaid can wash dishes in any environment!

Cirno

Even in a storm of absolute-zero bullets!

Reimu

C'mon! There's no way things needed to be THAT cold!

Reimu

But we won the dishwashing battle, right?

Cirno

Hrrm... I suppose you... did...

Cirno

*collapse*

Kosuzu

Wait, this is bad. The ice bullets in the air are melting really fast!

Akyuu

Uh-huh, things are about to get...

Akyuu

Really wet!

*splash*

Kosuzu

Eek! The kitchen's flooding!

Akyuu

Cold, cold, cold!

Reimu

Cirno, do something!

Cirno

I... can't. I used up all my power in the battle. You guys... really are... tough.

Reimu

Save the compliments for later. We need you to help stop this!

Remilia

What's going on in here?!

*splash*

Remilia

Ahhhhhh! Water?!

We're all soaked.

Remilia

Help me, Sakuyaaa!

Remilia

What's with all this water? It's cold, so I bet it's your fault, Cirno.

Cirno

*gulp*

Remilia

That was the guiltiest gulp I've ever heard.

Remilia

You're not even supposed to be on tea duty!

Cirno

B-But I was trying to train the newbi―

Remilia

No excuses!

Cirno

Eek!

Remilia

Even if you're maids, you're still guests. I can't have you walking around in wet clothes.

Remilia

Feel free to use the mansion's laundry room. I'll let them know you're coming.

Reimu

That's oddly kind of you. But we'll all catch colds if we stay like this.

Remilia

Oh, right. There's someone from Elysium in the laundry at the moment.

Reimu

Who?

Remilia

You'll see when you get there.

Cirno

Thanks. I'm gonna wash my clothes, too.

Remilia

...

Remilia

Not before you un-flood this kitchen.

Remilia

Hurry up and get started!

Reimu

Yikes, it wasn't long ago Remilia was goofing around, trying to throw out an oil painting.

I'm not sure she was goofing around.

(Seemed like she just wanted Miss Sakuya's attention.)

Kosuzu

So this is the laundry room. I can't believe we're doing laundry at the Scarlet Devil Mansion!

Akyuu

The washing machines are―hm?

Reimu

Is that...?

???

Hey, guys! Long time, no see!

Raiko

I heard you all jumped straight to housemaid. Word spreads.

Reimu

Hi, Raiko.

Reimu

So it was you Remilia was talking about.

Raiko

Yep. Your maid outfits are absolutely soaked, huh?

Kosuzu

We almost drowned. Miss Remilia said we could use the laundry room, so here we are.

Reimu

We can use the machines, right?

Raiko

Sure, but they're all full right now.

Kosuzu

How long's it gonna be?

Raiko

About thirty minutes, I'd say.

Reimu

That's too long. Empty one for us.

Raiko

Could do. But the laundry room won't run without my magic.

Raiko

You know what that means, right?

Umm... no?

Raiko

It means we're gonna battle! Duh!

Raiko

Ow ow ow... OK, that's enough. I emptied a machine for you.

Raiko

Here, this one.

Kosuzu

Thanks! We'll put our outfits in.

Reimu

Here's mine.

Akyuu

...

Kosuzu

I'll toss them all in together. Look, there's even a dry mode.

Kosuzu

Pressing it!

Raiko

Wait!

Kosuzu

Wh-What's wrong?!

Raiko

You can't dry those outfits yet! They're made with fancy fabric! You have to pre-wash them. Hand 'em over!

Reimu

You're going to wash them for us?

Raiko

I'm not just an electrician. I'm also a laundry maid.

Raiko

Get ready, 'cause I'm about to teach you how to do laundry!

Raiko

When you hand-wash, be gentle. Don't rush. Do it with love.

Raiko

Elysium's maid outfits are high quality. You have to take your time. Use careful pressing motions.

Raiko

When you wring them out, don't twist. Press them with another cloth and let it absorb the moisture.

Reimu

Th-This is taking so long. I really wanna just squeeze the water out!

Raiko

Be patient. Like I said, do it with love.

Kosuzu

Love, huh?

Akyuu

That sounds like solid all-around advice.

Raiko

Now most of the water's out, we hang them up to dry! Pick a sunny spot and make sure there are no wrinkles.

Kosuzu

Seeing all our outfits hung up, I feel kinda proud.

Raiko

Heh heh, that's the skill of a laundry maid!

Akyuu

Everything's so clean. Even my spirit is sparkling.

Meiling

Once your outfits are dry, I'll leave them with Miss Raiko!

Awesome!

Reimu

It really is nice weather. They should dry fast.

Reimu

At first, I was just playing along, but this maid work... it's not so bad.

The next day...

Kosuzu

Good morning, Miss Raiko!

Raiko

Morning! I brought your outfits from the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

Akyuu

Thank you!

Raiko

Here! They turned out great!

Reimu

They feel different... Good different.

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

So fluffy!

Raiko

Right?!

Kosuzu

Now that our maid uniforms are super fluffy, let's work extra hard today!

Akyuu

Yesterday was a disaster. We were soaked through.

Kosuzu

But Miss Raiko's work as a laundry maid was amazing.

Reimu

Wait, what other maid types are left again?

Kosuzu

Power maids? ...No, that wasn't it.

???

Parlor maids.

Youmu!

Youmu

I heard you all skipped ranks and became housemaids.

Youmu

Today, I'll teach you everything I know about being a maid.

Reimu

So you're our "opponent" this time.

Youmu

That's a rather ominous way to put it. I'm only here to help.

Youmu

Get ready for parlor maid training.

Kosuzu

Scullery maids do dishwashing, and laundry maids wash clothes, right?

Youmu

Correct. And parlor maids deal with the guests.

Akyuu

Come to think of it, I know a little about parlor maids. They're supposed to be very agreeable by nature.

Youmu

That isn't something I concern myself with. A maid exists alongside her master.

Youmu

Especially parlor maids. At times, they must even act in their master's place.

Youmu

Your maid ranks are above mine. Even so, my experience as a parlor maid should be of assistance.

Youmu

If I may, I'd like to show you the essentials.

Reimu

Essentials?

Youmu

The essentials of hospitality for the masters who visit!

Yuyuko

Excuse meee.

Youmu

Welcome, mada―?!

Yuyuko

Oh, Youmu. Looks like you're working hard.

Youmu

...

Kosuzu

She froze.

Akyuu

Completely.

Her real master showed up...

Yuyuko

My, what a lovely teahouse. I don't have a reservation. I hope that's OK.

Youmu

Of course. This way, madam. What brings you in today?

Yuyuko

I'm famished. I want to eat enough to make you happy, as my maid.

Youmu

Enough to make ME happy? But maids are taught not to show too much emotion.

Yuyuko

Don't worry about all that. For now, why don't you bring me a menu?

Youmu

Very well.

Yuyuko

I'll take one of everything.

Youmu

What?!

Youmu

Excellent choice, madam.

Yuyuko

I had fun today, Youmu. Keep doing your best as a maid.

Yuyuko

Being alone at Hakugyokurou is... horribly lonely.

Youmu

I-It is?

Yuyuko

Teehee, not at all. I was only teasing. Don't forget to buy me something nice when you return.

Youmu

I won't.

Yuyuko

You look so cute in that maid outfit. You wouldn't wear it around the mansion, would you?

Youmu

I think it's time you left.

Kosuzu

She treated Miss Yuyuko like a regular guest the whole time. Then their bond really shone through at the end.

Kosuzu

Incredible!

Youmu

Can I help you, madam?

Keine

That outfit's lovely. Maids are similar to house servants, but they're not quite the same.

Keine

Maids carry themselves differently. It's like they're always beside their master, yet they never steal the spotlight.

Keine

They never butt in, and know just when to let their master take the lead. Look, Mokou. Isn't Youmu the perfect maid?

Mokou

Zzz...

Akyuu

Her friend fell asleep instantly...

Youmu

It seems your companion has fallen asleep. Shall I bring a blanket?

Keine

Yes, please. I can't believe her. I brought her all the way to Elysium.

Youmu

My company will surely be worse than your companion's, but if you like, I can sit and listen for a while?

Keine

Really? Ahem. A maid's behavior resembles a butler's, but their philosophy is fundamentally different. Depending on―

Akyuu

Offering help without insisting. So that's the parlor maid way.

Youmu

Welcome.

Flandre

I'm bored. Can I destroy this teahouse?

Youmu

I'm afraid not.

Reimu

The worst guest imaginable just walked in, huh?

Flandre

Tch, looks like I really can't destroy this place. You Elysium maids are no joke.

Flandre

But make no mistake. I'll be back.

Youmu

We look forward to your return, madam.

Youmu

And that's how it's done. Any questions?

Reimu

So basically, you just do whatever you think the guest wants?

Youmu

Exactly. Though that's easier said than done. Which is why you all need some practice.

Youmu

Right on cue. Guests.

You can do it, Reimu!

Reimu

I sure can!

Reimu

(I'm kinda nervous, though. This isn't like me!)

Reimu

(Here goes!)

Reimu

Welcome to―

Marisa

Yo, Reimu. Your masters are back.

Aunn

We came to hang out!

Reimu

Sorry, but we're closed.

Aunn

Huh?

Reimu

Safe travels.

Reimu

Be sure not to come back.

Reimu

Ever.

Marisa

If they're closed, they're closed! C'mon, Aunn, let's go have tea at my place!

Aunn

Sounds good! Bye, Miss Reimu!

Youmu

...

(Youmu's making a face.)

(I guess turning away guests is frowned upon...)

Youmu

Excellent work.

Youmu

What they really wanted was to embarrass you.

Youmu

So by letting them embarrass her, Reimu tended to their needs. That's what it means to be a parlor maid.

Akyuu

...IS that what it means?

A few days later...

Remilia

Things got a little hectic, but you all did well.

Kosuzu

Was that... a compliment?

Akyuu

I don't remember being that useful.

Reimu

Are you kidding? We've done plenty.

Reimu

We're ladies' maids now. Done.

Remilia

Slow down. Even with your rank skip, you're still newbies.

Remilia

Your time as maids is just beginning. You should finish your training before talking about any more rank-ups.

Reimu

Yeah, I guess. But does that mean we're just gonna keep doing practice drills forever?

Remilia

No. We need you to start pulling your weight. We're moving into the next phase of your training.

Remilia

This way.

Kasen

Long time, no see. Last time we met was near the village, huh?

Reimu

Oh hey, Kasen. Come to think of it, we DID see you there...

Kasen

You really do just forget anything you don't care about.

Kasen

But we're fellow Elysium maids now. We can talk freely.

Kasen

Just remember, I'm your true housemaid superior.

Kosuzu

True housemaid?!

Akyuu

Well, compared to Cirno, you certainly seem a better fit for the job.

Kasen

In some places, housemaids are regarded as the lowest-ranked maids. Jack of all trades, master of none.

Kasen

But here, it's the opposite. We're in charge of all the work that gets done.

Kasen

That includes sales management and issuing instructions to the other maids.

Kasen

We're essentially Elysium's executives.

Kasen

I know most maids come here seeking power...

Kasen

But I want to make sure you don't end up as housemaids in name only.

Kasen

This won't be easy. Think you can you keep up with me?

Kosuzu

Yep!

Akyuu

Double yep!

Kasen

What about you, Reimu?

Reimu

Have you ever seen me back down from a challenge?

Kasen

No. But you hate training, don't you?

Reimu

Hmph!

Kasen

It sounds like you've spent time with some wonderful maids so far.

Reimu

With a few exceptions.

Yoshika

The dead don't get tired. Trust me, this is what I live for.

Kosuzu

Yoshika was clumsy, but seeing her work so hard made us want to work hard, too.

Futo

In fact, there can be no manners without observation. If thou treatest all guests the same, none will appreciate thee.

Akyuu

Futo wasn't a maid, but we still learned a lot from her.

Raiko

When you hand-wash, be gentle. Don't rush. Do it with love.

Reimu

Raiko taught us to do things with love.

Kasen

The skills and mindset of a maid are something we all carry with us. A maid's best teacher are the maids around her.

Kasen

I hope to prove that to you.

Reimu

Can I ask you something?

Kasen

Go ahead.

Reimu

You said housemaids handle money and manage the other maids, right?

Reimu

Then what's left for Remilia to do? She's the Head Maid, no? And what about Tsukasa?

Kasen

They're both ladies' maids. They sit at the top of Elysium's hierarchy.

Kasen

Remilia manages the business as a whole. As for Tsukasa, she's entrusted with serving VIPs.

Kosuzu

VIPs?

Akyuu

You mean rich guests?

Kasen

Not quite. VIPs are beings whose worth goes beyond money. For example...

???

Me.

???

That's right. I'm a true VIP.

Okina

I am your master.

Okina

I am the maids' master. And also, the god of maids.

Kosuzu

G-God of maids? Sorry, but I got no idea what you're talking about!

Akyuu

So our master is our god, and our god is our master?

Okina

Not quite. But that's an interesting interpretation.

Kosuzu

I guess some gods really like the spotlight, huh?

Reimu

She's always like this.

Okina

May I borrow this one for a while?

Reimu

Me?

Kasen

But it's a rule that gods, sages, and celestials must be attended by ladies' maids or higher.

Okina

Are YOU a ladies' maid?

Kasen

Not yet.

Okina

Then what's the problem? There are no ladies' maids here, so I'll take Reimu instead.

Okina

Sorry to barge in like that. Normally, I'd use the spectacular VIP entrance, but everyone acts so stiff around there.

Okina

I want to experience what it's like to be served by a regular maid.

Reimu

So even ladies' maids aren't all that.

Okina

I can tolerate a certain amount of boredom. Besides, my two servants are always happy to see me in the VIP area.

Kosuzu

You mean Miss Satono and Miss Mai?

Okina

Exactly. But Tsukasa and Remilia don't seem to like me seeing them.

Okina

They've got some nerve if they think they can manipulate me. ...Ah, does it sound like I'm complaining?

Okina

Tsukasa and Remilia's service lacks a certain flair. But talking with you is fun.

Okina

And fun is what I'm after today.

Akyuu

W-We're honored.

Reimu

If you got more complaints, let us hear 'em. That's part of being a maid, isn't it?

Okina

Hoho, you'd listen to a god's complaints! Wonderful. Truly wonderful.

Okina

But I shouldn't. Complaining leads to unhappiness. It's all fun and games... until it's not. In the end, you'll suffer.

Okina

Unhappy gods are prone to start wars.

Reimu

But you already complained... And I gotta say, you talk nonsense like a pro.

Okina

To be praised like that is most unexpected. It seems my eye for talented maids is sharper than ever.

Kosuzu

Sh-She's scaring me...

Akyuu

Really? I'm enjoying this. It's not every day you get to speak to a god.

Okina

I can hear you.

Kosuzu & Akyuu

Eek!

Okina

Come, come. It's your turn to entertain with nonsense.

That's so unfair!

Okina

"Unfair" is the point. Being unreasonable is in my nature. It's not a god's duty to be logical.

Okina

Still, this is delightful. Exhilarating, even. Perfect etiquette can sometimes be such a drag.

Reimu

That's a backhanded compliment if ever I've heard one.

Okina

I beg to differ. It's high praise. In fact, I think I've taken too strong a liking to you.

Okina

Is it OK if I create a hundred back doors to Elysium, so I can spy on you and the otherworld Satono and Mai?

Reimu

No, it's not OK!

Okina

Then I'll MAKE it OK!

Reimu

Why did you bring us here?!

Kosuzu

S-So many doors! We can see all over Gensokyo!

Okina

This is our battlefield! Prepare yourselves!

Okina

You beat me. How delightful!

Kasen

It's time for you to leave, madam. If this continues, Elysium won't last.

Okina

I wouldn't want that.

Okina

But you Elysium maids are walking contradictions.

We are? How?

Okina

You'll have to figure that out yourselves. Oh, and give my regards to Satono and Mai.

Okina

Tell them to take care of themselves.

Kosuzu

W-Wait!

Okina

Hm?

Kosuzu

Take this. It's an Elysium stamp card.

Okina

A what?

Akyuu

We hand them out to all the guests.

Akyuu

Each time you visit, you get a stamp. The more stamps you collect, the better perks you receive.

Okina

Hoho...

Okina

Hahaha!

Okina

Reasons to visit again and again. "Perks" as you called them. This teahouse is like Heaven on Earth.

Reimu

So you're keeping the stamp card?

Okina

Of course. I expect I'll fill it before long.

Okina

Goodbye for now.

Okina

Actually, do you mind filling in my name?

Kosuzu

S-Sure! How do I spell it?

Okina

"M-a-s-t-e-r."

Kosuzu

Phew, I'm beat...

Akyuu

I never expected Miss Okina to show up. Guess Elysium isn't just a place to relax.

Akyuu

And now we know if we rank up any more, the work's going to get way tougher.

Reimu

Hmm...

What's up, Reimu?

Reimu

Okina called us walking contradictions.

Reimu

I can't stop thinking about it.

Kosuzu

We were just doing our best. But maybe from Miss Okina's perspective it looked... strange?

Akyuu

She was very specific with the word contradiction, though. Do you think she had a reason?

Akyuu

She also said she doesn't complain lightly.

Reimu

Maybe she was just trying to mess with us. But she could also have been trying to give us some kinda clue.

Reimu

About what it means to be a maid. About why Elysium exists. And about maids who work to gain power.

Reimu

I wonder what all the maids are planning to do after they power up.

Akyuu

That reminds me of something Lady Suwako said.

Suwako

Even without an official master, anyone can be a maid at Elysium. Even the wannabes.

Suwako

And those wannabe maids can get super powerful so long as their rank goes up.

Kosuzu

Oh yeah. She DID say that.

Reimu

You could say seeking power is kinda selfish. And servants are supposed to be the opposite of selfish.

Reimu

You raise your maid power, study maidhood, and rank up. But what you gain from that is just... more power.

Reimu

That's what Yoshika and the others told us. But it does sound like this whole system is a little contradictory.

Reimu

Who set things up like this? And why?

Kosuzu

You're starting to sound like a detective.

Akyuu

If this were a mystery novel, I'd say the main cast were about to crack the case.

The next day...

Remilia

Good morning, everyone. Kasen told me how hard you worked yesterday. Good job.

Kosuzu

Th-Thank you. We're getting praised again, hehe.

Kosuzu

Until recently, it was nothing but scoldings.

Remilia

That's not true. Besides, as Head Maid of Elysium, I always do what's best for the business.

Akyuu

I get that, but being praised this much is honestly kind of scary. It feels like there's a catch.

Remilia

There's no catch. You're doing very well. In fact, you've earned more than praise.

Reimu

We have?

Remilia

Yes. I have an announcement.

Remilia

As of this moment, you're all officially ladies' maids.

(What?)

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

Whaaaaat?!

Remilia

Elysium has a new set of all-but-true maids. I'm expecting great things.

Reimu

I'm happy we're ranking up...

Reimu

But WHY are we ranking up?

Reimu

We haven't demonstrated our skills for you or won any battles.

Remilia

Was my surprise too surprising?

Reimu

It's not that. It's just... unnerving.

Remilia

I see. An unearned promotion is frightening, I suppose.

Remilia

Fine. I'll explain.

Remilia

You did work worthy of a promotion.

Remilia

To be specific, you handled our VIP guest, Okina Matara, beautifully.

Remilia

Promotion required you to be selected by a VIP, then have them leave outstanding feedback.

Remilia

And in your case, we received word from Okina.

Remilia

She said your hospitality was outstanding.

Akyuu

It's pretty awesome getting praised by a god.

Kosuzu

Hmm, I feel like we got kinda lucky, though.

Remilia

Maids don't believe in luck. This is a result of your training.

Remilia

From here on, excessive modesty could come off as sarcasm. You're high-ranking maids now. You have to act like it.

Kosuzu

Eek! I hope we can do it.

Remilia

It's not a question of can. You will. Practice until maid mannerisms are second nature. Which brings us to...

Mai & Satono

It's our time to shine!

Satono

Congrats on your promotion, everyone! Starting now, we're―

Reimu

Hold it. There's something I want to ask you two.

Satono

Is it more important than your promotion?

Mai

More important than powering up?

Reimu

That's right. You don't mind us talking for a while, do you, Remilia?

Remilia

Well... I suppose as ladies' maids, you have the right to decide how to spend your time.

Reimu

Then there's no need to hold back.

Reimu

So, you two...

Reimu

Why are you helping Tsukasa?

Satono

What do you mean?

Reimu

Exactly what I said.

Reimu

Why are you helping run this teahouse in the first place?

Satono

Because everyone from otherworlds is here helping out.

Satono

It only makes sense for us to help, too.

Reimu

Helping out is one thing. But you two are doing more than that.

Reimu

Normally, you only serve your master.

Mai

Huh. I see your shrine maiden instincts are still sharp.

Mai

But you're wrong about one thing. We're still serving Master.

Satono

It's just that her goal happened to align with Tsukasa's.

What goal?

Mai

To see the potential of the new maids.

Akyuu

Potential?

Satono

Is that your only question? Because if you have more...

Mai

Yeah, if you have more...

Satono

You'll have to dance with us.

Reimu

Fine. A "dance" sounds like the quickest way to get what we want.

Reimu

Let's get this over with. Then, you're gonna start talking.

Reimu

It's time to talk. Tell us what this medium incident is really about.

Reimu

You admitted you're still helping your master.

Reimu

That's why you're involved in the incident. It's the only reason you're here.

Reimu

I don't know what Tsukasa told you, but don't trust her. It'll come back to bite you.

Reimu

Right here, right now, tell us everything you know.

Mai & Satono

Quit glaring at us like that...

Kosuzu

(Yikes, Miss Reimu looks super scary.)

Akyuu

(It's like she was trying to ask them nicely, then gave up halfway.)

Mai

Bear in mind, we don't actually know Tsukasa's full plan.

Satono

Here goes... Ahem.

Satono

We have one goal: to create our own successors.

Mai

That's right. For our master's sake, we've been helping the maids maximize their potential.

Satono

Maids already have most of the skills needed to serve Master.

Mai

Most importantly, they're loyal. If the perfect successors are out there, they're surely maids.

Kosuzu

Yeah, but why do you need successors?

Akyuu

I think I get it.

Akyuu

But why would you work with Tsukasa? You were clearly in cahoots.

Satono

We have the ability to power up maids.

Mai

If we power one of them up, they'll have everything they need to replace us.

Mai

It was Tsukasa who suggested it. She said that way, we could choose our successors freely.

Satono

We didn't see a problem.

Kosuzu

So she tricked you into helping? But didn't you say Elysium's maids are only after power?

Akyuu

The village ended up flooded with maids. It's crazy out there.

Reimu

If everyone powers up, then no one does.

Reimu

How would that help you pick a successor?

Mai & Satono

W-Well, uhh...

Reimu

That's enough out of you two. Chase after your goals all you like, but don't get carried away.

Reimu

You aren't cut out for scheming, anyway.

Reimu

Oh, before I forget. Okina gave me a message for you.

Reimu

She said to take care of yourselves.

Satono

Master said that?

Mai

Just for us?

Several hours later...

Satono

Feels like forever since we wandered around like this together. I hope the weather's nice again tomorrow.

Satono

What's wrong, Mai? You look totally spaced out.

Mai

Y-Yeah...

Mai

Are we... in the wrong?

Satono

In the wrong? We're just looking for our successors.

Satono

That's why we're making maids stronger. The process isn't over yet, so it's hard to say we're in the wrong.

Mai

I dunno. I worry about these kinda things. I'm not as carefree as you, Satono.

Mai

That message from Master is bothering me, too.

Satono

The one Reimu passed along? "Take care of yourselves." It did feel a little like she was pushing us away.

Satono

But still, she's always like that. I'm more annoyed she trusted Reimu to tell us.

???

Annoyed, huh? That's fair. I admit, I'm sometimes blind to the subtleties of the heart.

Mai

Th-That sounds like...

Okina

But sometimes it's my duty to be harsh. I hope to be forgiven for minor transgressions like this one.

Satono

I-It's―

Mai

Master!

Okina

I'm not sure I've earned that title. Something still feels lacking.

Mai

...

Okina

But for tonight, I'll allow myself to be called your master.

Okina

You've done well, my servants.

Mai & Satono

M-Masteeer!

Okina

Interesting. It seems I perform my duties diligently in your world, too. And have some measure of competence.

Satono

Not "some measure." To us, your word is final.

Okina

That's nice to know. I'm glad I chased you down.

Mai

You chased us? ...Why?

Okina

I care about my servants, no matter where they're from. If I can, I hope to guide you.

Satono

Guide us? But our duty is to find our successors. And we're working on it.

Mai

Are we doing something wrong?

Okina

Don't be silly. In a sense, you fulfill your duty simply by existing.

Okina

But I don't like that someone is using you.

Satono

Using us? Who?

I hope that's not me you're talking about, Okina.

Okina

Right on cue.

Tsukasa

Didn't you know? I have a knack for timing.

Mai

Tsukasa!

Tsukasa

I'd rather you didn't put strange ideas into my servants' heads.

Okina

You've got some nerve. Surely you know who you're dealing with.

Okina

And since when were they YOUR servants?

Mai

Master, Tsukasa agreed to help us and―

Okina

Hoho, so I was right to suspect you. Step forward and face your judgment.

Okina!

Okina

Oh, it's you...

Tsukasa

Her guard's down. This is my chance!

Reimu

PLAYER, get behind me!

Tsukasa

Phew, with this many against me, a draw is the best I can do.

Reimu

She's still standing... How strong are you?!

Tsukasa

Not quite strong enough, it seems. C'mon, Satono, Mai. We're leaving.

Tsukasa

Satono? Mai?

Okina

(That's it, girls. Leave her in the dust.)

Mai & Satono

Tell us.

Satono

You said maids and the two servants do the same jobs. Was that true?

Mai

Is this really the best way to find our successors?

Tsukasa

...

Tsukasa

So you want to know whether Elysium's system can truly find worthy successors?

Tsukasa

I promised you it can.

Tsukasa

Create powerful maids, then choose from among them. As a bonus, their etiquette will be impeccable.

Tsukasa

Flawless logic, no?

Reimu

I told you before, but if everyone powers up, then no one does.

Reimu

And is strength really all you need to serve Okina?

Satono

Umm...

Mai

Maybe not.

Okina

Well said, shrine maiden.

Reimu

Is that sarcasm?

Okina

Not at all.

Tsukasa

You don't seriously believe Elysium's maids are purely strong, do you?

Okina

Go ahead, tell us what lies in their hearts.

Tsukasa

In their hearts, heh?

Tsukasa

And what exactly do you consider a person's heart?

Okina

It's obvious. My heart is what I think and feel. It's what defines me.

Okina

Isn't that right, my servants? Your hearts define you, too, don't they?

Mai & Satono

Uh-huh.

Tsukasa

So what're you two going to do? Come back with me?

Satono

I don't know if what we did was right or wrong.

Mai

But it doesn't change the fact you helped us.

Satono

Still, we're not going with you.

Mai

Our minds―and our hearts―are made up.

Tsukasa

How childish. But do as you please. The stage for my research has already been set.

Tsukasa

Good day.

Okina

Wait, all-but-true maid.

Tsukasa

Are you speaking to me as a guest now? If so, I'll stay.

Okina

Satono and Mai have abandoned you and returned to where they belong. Surely you saw that coming.

Tsukasa

You think highly of me. I'm honored.

Okina

Don't be so bitter. Tell me, my servants, what about making Tsukasa your successor?

Okina

No answer, hm?

Tsukasa

Their silence means no. I know there's no love for me here.

Tsukasa

Goodbye for now. I'll be waiting for you at Elysium.

The next day...

Fairy Maid

That guest is mine! Hands off!

Fairy Maid

Not a chance! That power-up is mine!

Reimu

What's happening?!

Marisa

Yo, Reimu! I dropped by for some tea, and these maids started fighting over me.

Marisa

I dunno what to do. I was about to blast 'em both away.

Aunn

We're in trouble, too!

Koakuma

Cirno, I told you not to steal my guests!

Cirno

But they're MINE!

Cirno

I heard some people ranked up straight to ladies' maids just by entertaining a guest!

Cirno

I wanna rank up, too!

Koakuma

Well, you'll have to get in line!

Cirno

You want a line? Why don't I draw one straight to your face... with my bullets?!

Koakuma

Just try it!

Raiko

Hey, I wanna serve guests and power up, too!

Daiyousei

And me. The less effort I have to put in, the better!

The maids are fighting over guests?!

Yoshika

Everyone, stooop!

Reimu

Yoshika?!

Yoshika

Maids have to be kind!

Who cares?!

*boom*

Yoshika

Waaah!

Akyuu

You OK, Miss Yoshika?

Yoshika

If I wasn't already dead, I'd be dead right now.

Reimu

I don't believe this... The maids are going crazy!

Kosuzu

Meanwhile, the guests are getting bored and leaving. Hospitality's gone out the window.

Satono

...

Tsukasa

You don't seriously believe Elysium's maids are purely strong, do you?

Okina

Go ahead, tell us what lies in their hearts.

Satono

Uh-oh... The maids are losing sight of what's in their hearts.

Satono

Or maybe there was nothing there to start with...

Mai

I'm starting to feel like this is our fault. What do we do, what do we do?

Reimu, let's stop this!

Reimu

Enough!

Reimu

There's only one way to get things under control!

Reimu

You crazy maids actually thought you stood a chance against me?!

You're wide open!

Huh?

Reimu

Watch out, PLAYER!

*kaboom*

Reimu!

Reimu

Urgh...

Kosuzu

Reimu!

Akyuu

Miss Reimu!

Reimu, wake up!

Kosuzu

Thank goodness you're awake.

Reimu

Urgh, hey guys... Right, I protected PLAYER...

Reimu

Where are we?

Akyuu

In the prison below the Scarlet Devil Mansion... I think.

Reimu

Prison?

Reimu

Scarlet Devil Mansion?!

Kosuzu

Miss Koakuma and the others brought us here. We didn't have a choice.

???

Keep it down.

Remilia

Just because there are no guests doesn't mean you can slack off.

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

Remilia?!

Remilia

Surprised? The Head Maid of Elysium, locked up.

Reimu

Not even a little. I'm too busy trying to figure out what's going on.

Reimu

If you know something, I'd love to hear it.

Remilia

We realized a while ago. This maid power is dangerous stuff.

Remilia

So we deliberately kept Suwako from becoming a maid, and had her ensure the maids didn't get out of control.

Remilia

We also had this world's me stop hiring any more new maids.

Remilia

But Tsukasa got the better of us. I never imagined she'd recruit the mansion's maids to her side.

Remilia

I wanted to fix things without dragging anyone else into it... but this is on me. I let this world's me down.

???

Hey, what's going on, Remilia?

That sounds like...

Marisa

Is tossing guests into a cell some new kinda hospitality?

Aunn

We're confused. Super confused!

Reimu

Marisa and Aunn?!

Remilia

This is no hospitality. Under no circumstances would a maid imprison a guest.

Tsukasa

Now that Satono and Mai won't obey me, I need to find new ways to motivate them.

Tsukasa

I'm keeping you hostage to secure myself a regular supply of maid power.

Reimu

Tsukasa...

Tsukasa

Comfortable, Miss Reimu? Maybe I should have you share your shrine maiden power with the maids, too.

Reimu

What's the deal? You tricked Satono and Mai, and now you're throwing your own people in a cell.

Tsukasa

That Head Maid isn't one of my people. We only worked together out of convenience. Isn't that right, Lady Remilia?

Remilia

If that's what you believe, then sure.

Tsukasa

Such a satisfying show of bravado.

Reimu

I'm asking what you want.

Tsukasa

And I have no obligation to answer.

Remilia

You win, Tsukasa. But can't you show at least a little compassion?

Tsukasa

I suppose I could.

Tsukasa

In my world, I served Lady Megumu.

Akyuu

A Great Tengu...

Tsukasa

But what she and I had was akin to a business relationship.

Tsukasa

A maid isn't meant to be like that. The source of their power lies in genuine connections.

Tsukasa

That's why I wanted to learn about ordinary maids. To understand them.

Tsukasa

But I couldn't. It's like my nature got in the way.

Tsukasa

Even if I couldn't understand them fully, I knew there were still things I could learn from them.

Tsukasa

That's why I turned Elysium...

Tsukasa

Into my testing ground.

Kosuzu

Miss Tsukasa just said her piece and walked off, huh?

Reimu

Now what do we do? I'm getting hungry.

Kosuzu

Miss Remilia fell asleep...

Marisa

Wanna call Sakuya? If we yell loud enough, she'll notice.

Aunn

Won't Miss Tsukasa notice first?

Reimu

Even locked up, you're the same old Marisa. I kinda respect that.

Marisa

Freaking out won't fix anything. If we're gonna do something, do it big.

Akyuu

...

Kosuzu

What's up, Akyuu?

Akyuu

I keep thinking about what Miss Tsukasa said.

Reimu

The testing ground thing?

Akyuu

Uh-huh. Why would she do something like that?

Akyuu

She basically caused this medium incident herself. What did she want out of it?

Akyuu

This mystery isn't solved until we figure out her motive.

Kosuzu

She said she wanted to know what an "ordinary maid" is...

Kosuzu

But she also said she couldn't understand it.

Akyuu

She's a kuda-gitsune, right? A fox that brings ruin to whoever it advises. I wonder if that's related.

Reimu

This world's Tsukasa enjoys all that "bringing ruin" stuff.

Maybe otherworld Tsukasa is different...

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

Hmmmmmmmmm...

Wow, you guys are thinking hard.

Remilia

*yawn*

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

Eek!

Marisa

Oh, you're up, Remilia. Seems like you're in a pretty good mood.

Aren't you worried about being trapped here anymore?

Remilia

Meh, it's nice and comfy.

Remilia

But I suppose I could help out a little.

Remilia

Be gone, iron bars.

*smash*

What the?! You broke through in one hit!

Kosuzu

You mean... you could've done that the whole time?

Remilia

Naturally.

Remilia

I've been working nonstop lately. But this place is dark and relaxing. I decided to stay a while.

Reimu

I'm betting that noise didn't go unnoticed...

Flandre

Prisoners on the loose! Stop right there. You're under arrest! Hahaha!

Reimu

Tch. Why did SHE have to be the one who noticed?

Akyuu

I'm not sure we can blast our way through her.

Raiko

Don't forget about me.

Reimu

Raiko!

Raiko

Sorry. I want to get stronger and stronger. The guests are mine.

Akyuu

Welp, as if things weren't hard enough already.

Aunn

We're doooooomed!

???

Don't worry, Suwa's here to help. That's right... me!

Akyuu

Yoshika and Lady Suwako?!

Kosuzu

Why are you here?!

Suwako

Details later!

Yoshika

Dead maid, at your service!

Suwako

Great job.

Yoshika

Chalk one up for team zombie.

Yippee!

Suwako

Yay for us!

Reimu

How'd you even find us?

Suwako

We got back to Elysium, and you were all gone. I started to get worried.

Suwako

The other maids were acting weird, too.

Suwako

So I calmed them down, so to speak. They told me you'd been taken to the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

Reimu

So you came to rescue us.

Suwako

Yep, and we made it just in time. Not in time to stop you being locked up... but this way was more dramatic!

Suwako

Through this whole thing, I've stayed neutral. But I didn't think Tsukasa would go this far.

Suwako

Throwing guests in a cell is, like, totally not cool.

Marisa

A god who's actually useful. There really is a first for everything.

Suwako

Haha, I'm the best, right?

Suwako

Oh, hey. As thanks for saving you, can you do me a favor, Reimu?

Reimu

Depends what it is.

Suwako

Watching you all become legit maids was awesome. You're practically all-but-true maids.

Suwako

I want you to use your maid skills and save Elysium.

Reimu

What do you think, PLAYER?

Let's do it!

Reimu

Glad you're on board. We've already come this far.

Suwako

That's good.

Suwako

Like, really good!

Kosuzu

OK, so we agreed to help save Elysium... but what are we actually supposed to do?

Akyuu

Good question. It seems like Miss Raiko and Miss Flandre have sided with Miss Tsukasa.

Reimu

We have to assume the other maids are on her side, too.

So it's just us?

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

...

Suwako

Don't sweat it. I know where to find Tsukasa. All we've gotta do is rough her up a bit. You know, show her who's boss.

Suwako

What do you think, Remilia?

Remilia

It's true that Tsukasa, the two servants, and I were held together by a delicate balance of interests.

Remilia

But Tsukasa split with the servants. So now she's trying to take the guests hostage.

Remilia

Even for her, that's a bit much. So yes, I think a little "roughing up" is in order.

Remilia

But to be honest, it doesn't matter what we say. Reimu's already made up her mind.

Remilia

Isn't that right?

Reimu

Like you even need to ask.

Reimu

Suwako. Will you take us to Tsukasa?

Yoshika

Umm, Reimu...

Reimu

You stay here. You'll only get caught in the crossfire.

Yoshika

But...

Marisa

What about me? Want me to help?

Reimu

We can't drag guests into Elysium's mess.

Reimu

Stay behind and guard Yoshika.

Marisa

So now you care about the guests? Pretty sure you chased me and Aunn out of the teahouse when we dropped by.

Marisa

But if that's what you want, fine. I'll let you handle this one.

Yoshika

P-Please stop Tsukasa!

Reimu

Relax.

Reimu

We're ladies' maids. Our etiquette and mannerisms are our pride.

Reimu

I'm going to beat that pride into her.

Kosuzu

Is this... the Youkai Mountain?

Remilia

Yes. She probably fled here after she learned we'd escaped.

Remilia

Elysium was only a temporary base. Keeping a hideout for emergencies... Hmph. She does think things through.

???

That's part of being a maid. Schemes within schemes. And never letting the world see you flustered.

???

Welcome, dear guests. What brings you here today?

Akyuu

(Seeing her like this, it's impossible to deny. Every movement, every gesture is perfect.)

Kosuzu

(She's flawless. A textbook example of a maid. But...)

Reimu

You're trying to act smug, aren't you?

Tsukasa

Smug? No. Sarcastic? Yes.

Reimu

You don't deserve to be called the top maid.

Tsukasa

What?

Reimu

And I'd watch the sarcasm if I were you. Don't you know who we trained under?

Akyuu

A maid exists to serve her master. If it rains, she becomes an umbrella. If the wind blows, she becomes a tree to block it.

Kosuzu

If there's a drought, she becomes a pail of water. If snow falls, she becomes a fireplace.

Reimu

A true maid must always act appropriately before her master.

Reimu

With these outfits on, every one of us is a maid!

Reimu

And we're about to show you who's really on top!

Reimu

We done? Or do you still think you can beat us?

Tsukasa

No, we're done. Well fought, Miss Reimu. I feel refreshed.

Remilia

You do look oddly satisfied.

Remilia

As someone who suffered because of your actions, I'd rather you didn't.

Tsukasa

I owe you an apology, Miss Remilia. You were simply dragged into my experiment.

Akyuu

You keep going on about tests and experiments, huh?

Akyuu

What exactly were you using Elysium for?

Tsukasa

A fox never shares her secrets.

Reimu

But as a maid, you exist to serve your master, no?

(Wait, was this about who gets to be the master?!)

Tsukasa

As merciless as ever, huh?

Tsukasa

Very well. I'll explain the truth behind this medium incident.

Tsukasa

In my world, master-servant bonds, bonds of trust, are a source of power.

Tsukasa

Like I told you, Lady Megumu and I had a businesslike relationship.

Tsukasa

Though it too was built on trust.

Tsukasa

That meant even someone like me could technically become a maid.

Tsukasa

But all I could manage was to imitate their ways.

Tsukasa

To aim for the top, something was missing.

Tsukasa

Then I found myself in this world. At Elysium.

Tsukasa

And there, I met Satono and Mai, who could draw out a maid's latent potential.

Tsukasa

My chance had come.

Tsukasa

I wanted to know who was stronger.

Tsukasa

Proper maids who serve their masters diligently?

Tsukasa

Or maids like me, who ultimately serve only themselves?

Tsukasa

I built a contradictory system to see how people would react. And to see what behavior would be seen as "right."

Tsukasa

If I ended up the strongest, that was fine. It would've given me a confidence boost for sure.

Tsukasa

And if I was defeated, that was fine too.

Tsukasa

As long as I understood what lay at the root of my opponents' strength...

Tsukasa

I could prepare countermeasures. I could find a way to beat them.

Tsukasa

No matter the result, I would always come out on top.

Tsukasa

Or so I thought.

Reimu

Is that why you look so annoyed?

Tsukasa

You guys... aren't either type of maid.

Tsukasa

You became maids on a whim, without a desire to truly serve. And yet you were somehow sincere.

Tsukasa

Your hospitality is far from perfect. Yet you still show glimpses of the core fundamentals.

Tsukasa

You essentially ruined my whole experiment.

Remilia

What did you expect?

Remilia

These maids are the pride of Elysium.

Tsukasa

I see that now. Their service today was quite something.

Tsukasa

All that's left is for the two servants to strip me of my power.

A few days later, in a peaceful Elysium...

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

Welcome, madam!

Okina

Thank you for the lively greeting. Once again, I'm not here for a VIP seat. Show me to a regular spot.

Kosuzu

That's wonderful to hear. Actually, the VIP seats are all gone.

Okina

And why's that?

Akyuu

A new chapter in Elysium's history has begun. Please enjoy our new form of hospitality.

Okina

(Hmm. It does seem different in here. More relaxed.)

Okina

(But not enough to shock me.)

???

Welcome, Master.

Okina

Oh, it's you two.

Satono

We'll be attending to you today.

Mai

If there's anything you need, please tell us.

Okina

This is a surprise. I never expected you to be out here, serving guests.

Satono

We realized something. Devotion comes in many forms.

Mai

Every maid has their own style of hospitality.

Satono

So Elysium's ranks are gone. Now everyone's equal, and we all serve guests.

Mai

Tsukasa's working the floor, just like us.

Tsukasa

Would you like a refill, madam? ...Coming right up.

Tsukasa

Please relax and enjoy yourself.

Okina

That's a lovely smile. It's like some great weight has been lifted.

Satono

You can tell just by looking at her?

Satono

We heard she wants to repay the cafe after all the trouble she caused...

Mai

But to us, she's still a mystery.

Okina

What are you talking about? It's you who's smiling.

Mai & Satono

Huh?

Okina

You look like you've found your place. Even if it's only temporary.

Okina

Honestly, I wonder who on earth has you working this hard.

Okina

But oh well. You're free to follow your hearts.

Mai & Satono

...

Mai & Satono

Thank you, Master!

Reimu

Welco―

Reimu

Urgh.

Marisa

What sorta greeting's that? We're only here to hang out.

Aunn

Hello!

Reimu

You never learn, huh?

Marisa

Nope. It's not every day I get to see you in a maid outfit!

Reimu

Yeah, yeah. Whatever.

Marisa

Hey, where're your maid manners?

Aunn

You're gonna let us in this time, right?

Reimu

...What can I get for you, dear guests?

Marisa

Let's see. Tea and... a triple-stacked omurice!

Reimu

What the heck's that?

Marisa

Duh. It's three omurice stacked on top of each other. I'm super hungry today. You can make it, right?

Reimu

I'll ask Futo.

Marisa

All right!

Aunn

Sounds yummy!

Marisa

You're an all-but-true maid now, right? Does that mean you're number one?

Reimu

Nah, housekeepers are above me still.

Reimu

Actually, scrap that. Ranks are gone now, so maybe there isn't a number one.

Reimu

No more ranks... The incident's been resolved... Why am I still doing this?

Marisa

What's the matter?

Reimu

How long do I have to...

Reimu

Keep training as a maid?!

Yukari

Hello, PLAYER.

Yukari

How was the world full of maids?

My maid power went up!

Yukari

Teehee, that's wonderful news. I actually wanted to meet all those maids myself.

Yukari

I even thought it would be fun to be one.

You'd make an amazing maid, Miss Yukari!

You're super graceful already!

Yukari

Teehee, I'm glad you think so.

Yukari

By the way, do you remember what I told you before you left?

Yukari

I said no two maids are perfectly alike. They each shape their own image.

Yukari

What it means to be a maid. What it means to serve. The heart's impulses, swayed by fate and tough circumstances.

Yukari

Seeing it with your own eyes, it's fascinating, isn't it?

I want to meet more maids!

Yukari

Teehee. Maybe you'll get to. And sooner than you think.

Really?!

Yukari

Sometimes, wishes come true. Though I can't say who grants them.

Yukari

I'll do what I can to help new encounters find you.

Yukari

And ensure those encounters guide you along the path of fate.

Yukari

Now then, off you go, madam.

You said it just like a maid!

Yukari

Teehee, I did indeed. Run along. I'll be waiting for you here.

From intense maid training to elite VIP service, the battle with Tsukasa Kudamaki finally ended for Teahouse Elysium.

Marisa

I'm back for another loyalty stamp!

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

Welcome back, madam.

Tsukasa, Mai & Satono

Right this way, please.

Marisa

Gaaah! Bright... way too bright!

Aunn

Is this what they call ladies' maid aura?!

Yoshika

I wanna serve! I can be classy!

Me too!

Reimu

You again? You basically live here at this point.

Reimu

FYI, none of us are ladies' maids now.

Marisa

You're letting me stay? Where's the fun in that?

Reimu

Seriously, why do you even come here?

???

It's―

Okina

For the love of maids!

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

...

Okina

That was a solid ten on the dramatic entrance scale! You could at least pretend to be surprised.

Reimu

You're like a broken record. We've all learned to tune you out.

Satono

Your tea is ready, madam.

Mai

If you need anything, just say the word.

Okina

It's been a while, but Teahouse Elysium seems to be thriving. As the Absolute Secret God of Maids, this pleases me greatly.

Marisa

Absolute Secret God of Maids...? She's just stacking words now.

Aunn

I know, right?

Okina

I heard that!

Marisa

Oops. My bad.

Okina

If a god says something, it becomes truth. Questioning it is unbecoming.

Okina

I am the Absolute Secret God of Maids because I say so.

Aunn

I'm confused, but wow!

Okina

But I must say, this place feels more polished.

Okina

Yet it also feels more relaxed... comfortable in a way it wasn't before.

Satono

There are fewer maids now, and most of us are former ladies' maids.

Mai

Even Yoshika's been amazing lately.

Tsukasa

Your tea is ready. Allow me to pour it for you.

Okina

...Exquisite technique.

Tsukasa

Even without maid power, we still remember the mannerisms we learned here.

Tsukasa

We now treat all guests openly and warmly, without distinction.

Okina

Admirable. I approve.

Yoshika

*zombie noises* Behold, Teahouse Elysium's famous zombie service!

Yoshika

I can work forever and never break a plate! I'm dead, so I never get tired! I'm a hospitality machine!

Yoshika

*enthusiastic zombie noises*

Yoshika's on fire!

Reimu

The overall service is better, but we've got fewer maids now, so we're stretched thin.

Reimu

And people are lining up just to see the former ladies' maids.

Kosuzu

Times like this, Yoshika really comes through.

Akyuu

You're a lifesaver, Yoshika!

Yoshika

Happy to help!

Kosuzu

What's wrong, Yoshika?

Akyuu

...She froze?

Yoshika

*dramatic collapse*

Kosuzu

Yoshika?!

Futo

What is all this clamor?

Futo

...Yoshika?!

Yoshika

My time has come... Zzz.

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

...Yoshika?!

Futo

YOSHIKAAAAAAAA!

Yoshika

Uh... where...?

Kosuzu

Yoshika, thank goodness...!

Akyuu

She's awake!

Yoshika

Where... am I?

Reimu

Hakurei Shrine. You collapsed, so we carried you here. Turns out even the dead get tired.

Yoshika

I'm sorry... I'll work harder tomorrow.

Reimu

Absolutely not. Just rest. Teahouse Elysium is closed for today anyway.

Yoshika

Is it my fault...?

Kosuzu

Not at all. We pushed you too hard.

Akyuu

Miss Futo gave Miss Remilia quite the scolding...

Yoshika

But I'm not a ladies' maid, so I have to try extra hard...

Reimu

There's no ladies' maids anymore. We're all equal, remember?

Yoshika

Oh... I forgot.

Akyuu

We still need more maids, though. Or this will just happen again.

Reimu

At this time of night...?

Satono

Sorry to bother you so late.

Mai

Is Yoshika OK? Probably not, but...

Reimu

Satono and Mai?!

Satono

We just wanted to check on her.

Mai

Didn't expect us, huh?

Yoshika

'Cause ladies' maids don't speak to lower ranks.

Reimu

None of that applies anymore.

Everyone's equal now!

Yoshika

Right, sorry...

Satono

Teahouse Elysium's closed tomorrow too, so rest up.

Mai

If you're up for it, let's have a little chat.

Reimu

It's already pretty late, though.

Reimu, Kosuzu & Akyuu

Hmmm...

Kosuzu

Then how about a sleepover?

Akyuu

That'd be fun. We haven't had one since the Housemaid Promotion Party! What do you say, Reimu?

Reimu

You're welcome to stay. You in, Satono, Mai?

Satono

Are you sure?

Mai

Hope we're not a bother...

Reimu

Nah, don't worry. People throw parties here without permission all the time.

Reimu

So, wanna stay?

Mai & Satono

Yes, please!

Satono

Closing early was rough. Guests who didn't know just kept showing up.

Mai

Might be the same tomorrow. Remilia's preparing a notice.

Yoshika

That makes me feel even worse...

Kosuzu

It's not you. We really are short on staff.

Akyuu

We can't throw newbies in without proper training.

Akyuu

Sending an untrained maid to Miss Futo would be... disastrous.

Kosuzu

That'd be an understatement.

Akyuu

We could ask Miss Suwako for help, but she can only do so much. If we don't think of something, we'll have to shut down.

Futo

I have said as much to Remilia already. Wherefore existeth Teahouse Elysium, if its maids are not cherished?

Miss Futo!

Futo

I came to see how Yoshika doth fare. A kitchen is undone without its scullery maid.

Reimu

Sounds like you rely on her more than I thought.

Futo

Of course. I may seem a little harsh, but that's all.

Kosuzu & Akyuu

(A little...?)

Futo

Well, I'm a freelance chef. If Teahouse Elysium closed, I'd survive.

Futo

But those who stuck around even after losing their maid power must actually care about the place.

Satono

Um...

Satono

I don't want it to shut down. Even Master said it was where I belong.

Mai

I like it there. I wanna continue working as a maid.

Reimu

Enjoying work, huh? That's unusual. So why'd you end up at Teahouse Elysium in the first place?

Reimu

No real reason on my end. I just went along with it 'cause PLAYER was having fun.

Mai

Hm, yeah, why did we? Well, we were the ones supplying maid power.

Satono

The whole maid thing was just a cover while we looked for our successors.

Satono

But... why did we keep up the act?

Yeah, why?

Mai & Satono

It's mostly cause...

Mai & Satono

The outfits are cute!

Reimu

Wow, really?

Mai & Satono

Yeah! Yep! And we love the whole maid mannerisms thing too.

Kosuzu

I mean, fair. Maid outfits really are cute.

Akyuu

Yeah, and maid mannerisms are elegant, so it makes sense.

Kosuzu

...

Kosuzu

Cute maid outfits...

What about them?

Kosuzu

Every maid has their own style of hospitality and that's how we do things now...

Kosuzu

So I thought maybe different outfits could be part of that.

Futo

A clever idea, though it solveth not our problem. We'd still be short on hands.

Akyuu

I see what you're getting at...

Akyuu

The idea is to bring former maids back with new outfits, right?

Kosuzu

Exactly, since some of them even wore maid outfits outside.

Kosuzu

I bet some people would come back just for the cute outfits.

Satono

Clothes really do change how you feel about yourself.

Mai

And some might actually like the vibe we've got going now.

Kosuzu

The real question is... how do we get the word out?

Reimu

I think we all know exactly who we need.

Reimu

So that's the deal―if we win, you help us.

Aya

I can't believe you're bothering me this late at night.

Reimu

We both know you'll do anything for a scoop.

Aya

Hah! You really get what makes a journalist tick.

Reimu

You better keep your promise.

Aya

I don't recall making promises.

Aya

But I suppose I can help, given how unusual it is for you to rely on my newspaper.

Aya

Extra, extra, read all about it!

Aya

Teahouse Elysium is changing its ways!

Cirno

I get to choose my outfit AND do things my own way?!

Cirno

I can't believe they'd do something this fun without telling me!

A few days later, at the new Teahouse Elysium...

Rumia

A maid exists to serve her master. If it rains, she becomes an umbrella. If the wind blows, she becomes a tree to block it.

Raiko

If there's a drought, she becomes a pail of water. If snow falls, she becomes a fireplace.

Kasen

A true maid must always act appropriately before her master.

Cirno

With these outfits on, every one of us is a maid!

Rumia, Raiko, Kasen & Cirno

The former maids of Teahouse Elysium...

Rumia, Raiko, Kasen & Cirno

Are back in action!

You guys look so cute!

Kosuzu

I was worried no one would show up! I'm so glad you guys came!

Rumia

Don't get the wrong idea, I'm only here for me!

Raiko

I get the appeal of a reunion now, even though this is my first.

Kasen

This place feels oddly new, but there's something nostalgic about it too.

Cirno

Stop stalling and start already!

Rumia, Raiko, Kasen & Cirno

Let's go!

Kosuzu

Wow, they're so motivated...

Akyuu

...We should follow their example.

Reimu

Not gonna lie, they're acting kinda scary, but whatever.

Yoshika

I'm scary!

Yoshika! Are you really OK now?

Yoshika

Don't worry, I'm already dead. My zombie maintenance fixed everything.

Kosuzu

That's not exactly reassuring...

Remilia

Thank you all for coming.

Don't mention it!

Kasen

I heard maids are free to do things their own way now. What exactly does that mean?

Remilia

Exactly what it sounds like. You've got the etiquette down, so now it's all about adding your own flair.

Raiko

I think I get it, but a little demo would help.

Raiko

What's this "flair" you want us to add?

Remilia

You're right, a demonstration should clear that right up.

???

Allow me to show you how it's done.

Remilia

That's an excellent idea. Please proceed.

Suwako

Noice!

Miss Suwako!

Suwako

'Sup, PLAYER.

Suwako

I may not be an ex-maid, but I was the maid assistant. So let me explain.

Tsukasa

Please do. I'm curious about what's changed.

Suwako

OK, here goes―there are no rules anymore. Just go with what feels right.

Cirno

Does that mean I can go totally wild?

Suwako

Obviously not. That wouldn't count as hospitality.

Suwako

Basically, it's freestyle hospitality that only those trained in maid mannerisms can pull off.

Rumia

Freestyle?

Raiko

Interesting.

Tsukasa

I like it.

Suwako

Let me demonstrate.

Suwako

Yoshika, you be the guest and I'll escort you out.

Yoshika

Got it! Guest Yoshika is going home!

Suwako

Normally, you'd say something like "We look forward to your return, madam." But with freestyle I'd say...

Suwako

Catch ya later, BFF!

Suwako

Or something like that.

Kosuzu

Um... what's a "BFF?"

Suwako

It means best friends forever! My style's all about treating guests like lifelong pals!

Cirno

F-Friend? But we're s'posed to treat the guests like gods...

Suwako

This is just MY style. Everyone can have their own.

Suwako

Right, Remilia?

Remilia

...

Remilia

I love it!

Suwako

Sweet!

Tsukasa

This is intriguing. I'm on board.

Tsukasa

The returnees still seem unsure.

Rumia

Yeah...

Raiko

Old mannerisms are hard to shake.

Suwako

OK, then let's go outside and shake them off.

Reimu

...Let me guess, another battle of bullets?

Suwako

Let's get pumped!

Suwako

Wow, you're tough!

Reimu

Looks like they're ready now.

Rumia

New maid mannerisms...

Raiko

No rules anymore...

Kasen

Freestyle hospitality that only those trained in maid mannerisms can pull off...

Cirno

Everyone can have their own style...

Cirno

This could be our shot!

Tsukasa

A new kind of hospitality for Teahouse Elysium...

Tsukasa

It'll be interesting to see where this leads.

Okina

Hello, maids of Teahouse Elysium!

Okina

It's good to see you all doing well, but the real trial begins now!

Okina

Because I'm here!

Rumia

Welcome back, madam.

Rumia

Trick or treat!

Okina

Wrong month!

Okina

So this is freestyle hospitality, huh?

Rumia

Uh-huh, Teahouse Elysium's all about letting maids do their own thing now.

Raiko

But only if you've got the basics down. It's earned freedom.

Okina

Interesting indeed. True mastery often leads to innovation.

Kasen

It's not that grand. We're just changing things up a bit.

Cirno

If the maids are having fun, the guests will too!

Okina

And maybe that's what makes the perfect maid.

Okina

In that case, let's double down on it.

Reimu

So much for "the real trial begins." You seem surprisingly reasonable.

Okina

Hahaha. A god chooses when to be reasonable.

Okina

By the way, I don't see Satono or Mai anywhere.

Kosuzu

They stepped out to grab supplies.

Akyuu

If they hear you're here, they'll probably rush back.

Mai & Satono

We're comiiiiiiing!

Okina

...Right on cue.

Mai & Satono

We're here!

Rumia

So, which will it be today, trick or treat?

Fairy Guest A

Treat all the way!

Raiko

I serve with drums. Behold, the beat of the modern maid!

Fairy Guest B

Whoa, I'm totally vibing to this!

Kasen

I hear you're a teacher. Allow me to give you a textbook example of maid service.

Devil Guest A

This service is... straight-up 100 out of 100!

Cirno

How do I look in this outfit? Forget tea, I'm handing out stretchy candy!

Devil Guest B

The pull is insane! Is this candy or mozzarella?!

Reimu

Here is your tea, madam.

Marisa

Thanks, Reimu.

Aunn

Thanks!

Reimu

You two really have nothing better to do, huh? Is my maid outfit that interesting?

Marisa

You won't be working here forever, so I've gotta enjoy it while I can.

Reimu

Enjoy what, exactly?

Marisa

Watching you play dress-up, duh.

Reimu

Well, whatever. Not like I lose anything.

Marisa

Aw, it's no fun if you don't get mad.

Reimu

Yeah, yeah, say whatever you want. I've got time to kill.

Aunn

You're not busy?

Kosuzu

Yeah... it's been slow. At least Yoshika can finally get some rest.

Marisa

Yo, Kosuzu, Akyuu.

Akyuu

People remember Miss Tsukasa as a former ladies' maid, but we barely had time to settle into the role...

Akyuu

We didn't have many regulars, and now the spotlight's on the newer maids. We're kind of old news.

Marisa

Man, that's life for you. One day you're hot, the next you're not.

Marisa

Good thing I keep showing up, huh? Loyalty like this's hard to find!

Reimu

Yeah, yeah.

Raiko

Reimu! Found you!

Reimu

I wasn't hiding. What do you want?

Raiko

No time to explain...

Raiko

Please help!

Reimu

...With what?

Raiko

I got yanked to another table, so can you please cover this one?

Reimu

Why is this suddenly my problem?

Raiko

You'll need to entertain them with drums, just so you know!

Raiko

You're a shrine maiden, so this should be totally up your alley!

Reimu

What part of "shrine maiden" screams "drummer" to you?!

Reimu

*awkward drumming*

Reimu

This is actually kinda fun. Let me give that another shot... *coherent drumming*

Reimu

*drumming intensifies*

Reimu

*epic drumming*

Fairy Guest A

Encore!

Rumia

Reimu, you're needed over here next...

Reimu

...What now?

Raiko

Pumpkin maid service, please!

Reimu

That's... not even a thing!

Reimu

Pumpkin spice latte coming up!

That doesn't sound right!

Reimu

What? She said pumpkin!

Kasen

Reimu, over here!

Reimu

Why me again?!

Kasen

Hall-monitor maid service, please!

Reimu

Am I handing out detentions now?!

Reimu

To the principal's office!

Cirno

Make these candies stretchy for me, please!

Reimu

HOW is that a service?!

Cirno

They didn't complain, so it's fine!

Reimu

That is NOT the point!

Reimu

Nope, I'm done with this...

Reimu

Get Marisa to do it!

Marisa

Say no more!

Reimu

Nope, bad idea!

Tsukasa

You seem to be struggling, Miss Reimu. Allow me to help.

Reimu

You? And help?

Tsukasa

Ulterior motives aside, help is still help. And you look like you need it.

Reimu

I hate to admit it, but you're right.

Tsukasa

...You could use some fresh air. Let's step out for a moment.

Tsukasa

We could even entertain the guests with a little battle of bullets show.

Reimu

All right. Let's do it.

Tsukasa

And that brings us to Maid CQC.

Reimu

What's that?

Tsukasa

A duel where maids push their skills to the absolute limit and go head-to-head.

Reimu

So basically...

Reimu

The usual!

Tsukasa

You good now?

Reimu

Yeah, thanks.

Tsukasa

Don't thank me just yet. You need to focus on giving the guests at Teahouse Elysium the service they deserve.

Reimu

I don't get it. Why help me at all?

Tsukasa

I could pretend it was pure goodwill, but let's be real, that's not really my style.

Tsukasa

I'm actually not sure why, but I felt the need to set things right.

Tsukasa

Before this place turns into nothing but a memory.

Reimu

That makes sense.

Tsukasa

Tsukasa Kudamaki and Reimu Hakurei, former ladies' maids, teaming up at last.

Tsukasa & Reimu

Sorry for the wait, madam!

Rumia

Trick or trick!

Raiko

Drummer maid service...

Raiko

Drumstick twirl!

Kasen

No running in the hallway!

Cirno

Stretchy candy nunchuck!

Suwako

Very noice!

Reimu

I stepped out to cool off, and somehow it got worse...

Reimu

Are we really branding Teahouse Elysium as the house of chaos now?

Okina

Chaos, you say? I find it rather fascinating.

Miss Okina, you're here!

Okina

Chaos isn't inherently bad. The guests are clearly enjoying themselves.

Okina

The maid skills that they learned here make this chaos functional.

Tsukasa

May I ask you something, Miss Okina?

Okina

Go ahead.

Tsukasa

This new style of Teahouse Elysium exists because I lost. What do you think about that?

Okina

Frankly, I don't care. Outcomes rarely have just one clear cause.

Okina

What matters is how you feel. Do you like how things turned out?

Tsukasa

...

Tsukasa

I do.

That smile says everything!

Tsukasa

Every maid has their own style of serving.

Tsukasa

I once treated Teahouse Elysium like a place to experiment, and that mindset led to my downfall.

Tsukasa

But honestly? I'm enjoying this version more than I thought I would.

Reimu

Look, I'm not into the touchy-feely stuff, but I'll say this.

Tsukasa

Go on.

Reimu

Even if you're not around, what you and the other ladies' maids built here won't just vanish.

Reimu

You made a difference.

Tsukasa

Hehe...

Tsukasa

Well, I'm not leaving just yet. And I doubt the others are either.

Reimu

I complain, but I do like this place. I wouldn't be working this hard otherwise.

Tsukasa

I'm glad to hear that.

Tsukasa

Then let's go, Miss Reimu. Time for a tag-team service only we can pull off.

Reimu

Don't make me regret this.

Tsukasa

Relax. I've got your back.

Remilia

Esteemed guests―

Remilia

As much as we'd love to keep things going, it's almost time to close.

Remilia

But before that, our maids will give you a proper send off.

Okina

Already? Then I suppose it's time to go. Goodbyes are always such a hassle.

Yoshika

I wanna say goodbye too!

Kosuzu

Yoshika!

Akyuu

Are you sure you're feeling OK?

Yoshika

I'm fine! Futo said the place was buzzing, so I had to see for myself!

Futo

Things be not the same without the scullery maid in the kitchen.

Suwako

Mind if I join in?

Remilia

Not at all.

Suwako

Noice.

Let's do this!

Everyone

Thank you very much for joining us today!

Everyone

We look forward to seeing you again!

Okina

This was a truly satisfying experience.

Okina

Until we meet again, maids of Teahouse Elysium.

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